Will Anyone Make It Out Of Wayward Pines Alive?
With one week left until the finale, and the destruction of titular town at hand, Alex Zeidel weighs everyone's chances of survival.
By the end of Wayward Pines's penultimate episode, the entire town has finally learned the truth of their situation. Thanks to a second "terrorist attack" (big truck used to plow through the wall) and Amy's deteriorating health, paranoia in the surveillance state of Wayward Pines is at an all-time high, whipping the most reactionary warmongers among the townsfolk into a bloodthirsty frenzy. WP's citizen Gestapo -- whom we're just being introduced to now, for some reason -- is made up of "Class One" graduates of Wayward Pines Academy, some particularly douche-tastic Skull and Bones-lookin' motherfuckers. When Ethan fails to "reckon" the five rebels in his custody, these assbags break into the sheriff's office and take justice into their own hands. Oh, my sweet Harold...
Having her fake-husband's blood splattered onto her face is enough to convince Kate that drastic measures need to be taken. As the only surviving member of the captured rebels -- thanks to the just-in-the-nick-of-time arrival of a rifle-toting Ethan -- Kate believes she needs to be reckoned in order to maintain peace and protect the surviving WP anarchists. But it's Theresa -- boring, seemingly useless Theresa -- and her digging into Lot 33 that provide an alternative solution. Armed with video proof of the brutal reality outside the wall, Ethan, Theresa, and Kate gather everyone in the town square under the guise of a reckoning, and give them the lowdown. "David Pilcher uses fear and violence to control you," Ethan tells them, "because he's afraid that if you knew the truth, you'll self-destruct."
Having snuck enough people down to the Lot 33 bunker to eyeball the footage (why the fuck would they even keep such incriminating evidence in the middle of town?), Theresa manages to win over enough of the crowd to give Ethan's peaceful rebellion a fighting chance. Unfortunately, David, correctly sniffing out a coup, skips the town gathering. From his perch in WP Mountain, David watches the veil of his perfect town get ripped away, and makes a drastic decision. Instead of risking a repeat of the cataclysmic fate of Group A, David chooses to cut his losses and cut the power -- including the electric wall keeping the abbies out. As another gross monster once said: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
So, with an impending bloodbath sure to accompany next week's finale, let's see who stands the best shot of surviving to the end credits!
Arlene And Her Friend
Sheriff Pope's secretary -- and possible love interest -- hasn't been given a lot to do besides deliver sassy one-liners, but she's done a damn good job at it. It took until the ninth episode for the writers to give Siobhan Fallon Hogan something meaty to work with, and her scenes with the Class One bros don't disappoint. Watching her try to fight back against those frat-bones was the most stressed out I've been this whole show. Here's hoping she and her Hillary Clinton-lookin' buddy survive the finale.
Chance Of Survival: 99%
Like his dad, Ben has completed his duty as a plot device, so there's no real reason for him to survive the invading army of flesh-hungry mutants -- but he probably will. We've already been teased with Ben's death once, and if they weren't going to kill him in a fuck-truck fireball then, I don’t foresee them doing it now. Even if they were originally planning on having Ben devoured by abbies, someone would have realized by now that Charlie Tahan acting like he's being eaten alive would be too funny to take seriously.
Chance Of Survival: 90%
Theresa's too dull to die. Besides, the idea of ending the show with Ethan's wife and former mistress, now reconciled, joining forces to forge a post-Pilcher Wayward Pines might be too clean an ending for this show to pass up.
Chance Of Survival: 85%
Now that Ethan's figuratively blown up WP -- and inspired David to literally blow it up -- his special role as liaison to the Pilchers is null and void. There's no real reason for Ethan to survive the curtain call, especially with Kate around to lead her people out of Egypt. If Ethan does bite it, it'll probably be at the hands -- and teeth -- of the abbies he's worked so hard to protect his family from. He'll knock out three or four of those bastards with his shotgun before an abbie sneaks up behind him and rips out his spine. At least now Matt Dillon can back to L.A. and continue his career as a straight-to-DVD action star! (Seriously, check out his IMDb page and tell me if you've even heard of a single movie he's been in since You, Me and Dupree.)
Chance Of Survival: 80%
Over the past three episodes, Kate has emerged as the real protagonist of Wayward Pines. Delivering pathos appropriate for a woman forced to live in a doll town for fourteen years, Carla Gugino has injected emotional stakes into a show that desperately needed some: all the more reason she might be doomed. She's already offered to sacrifice herself for the greater good once, so if the situation arises when she needs to act as abbie-bait (probably to save her new BFF, Theresa), I'm betting Kate won't hesitate to throw herself into the sea. On the other hand, if this show wishes to continue the summer of feminist apocalypse allegories, WP couldn't ask for a better Imperator Furiosa.
Chance Of Survival: 68%
Pam is in no way innocent for her part in this hullabaloo, so a horrific, bloody death would not be unearned. But Pam's got her bases covered. The mountain crew seems to trust her, and she's come a long way in her relationship with Ethan. By giving Theresa the keys to Lot 33, she solidified her position as a Burke ally. It's too bad, though, because Pam started off such a fun, campy villain. When the series rebooted itself halfway through, so did Pam, and without much explanation. Her earlier, sketchier behavior (demanding Justin Kirk's death; telling punny jokes about Juliette Lewis's execution) was written off as overcompensation for the part David instructed her to play in WP, but that never tracked with me. Regardless, Pam's a smart bird, and I'm putting the smart money on her survival.
Chance Of Survival: 65%
Considering that she's currently comatose in a hospital that just had its power shut off, I'm gonna say Amy's chances of survival are 50/50. Fine by me! Anything that makes Ben sad makes me happy.
Chance Of Survival: 50%
Besides David, Megan the hypnotist/sex pervert is the show's biggest baddie. The bloodlust she's instilled in her young charges has surprised even Pam, and Pam once threatened Ethan with waking surgery. Her inability to stage a coup at Ethan's big announcement does not bode well for our amateur thought-leader. If she isn't killed by Ben, her main puppet, it'll probably be Theresa who does the deed in a climactic Molly Weasley "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!" moment.
Chance Of Survival: 25%
These Two Monsters
If anyone's gonna be the victim of a cold-open brutal death, it's the two surviving Class One WPA grads locked up in the sheriff's office. Even though they weren't quite as enthusiastic as their buddy about killing four people in the name of public safety, they still have Reed Diamond blood on their hands -- and I will see them suffer.
Chance Of Survival: 15%
Unless David's got an escape hatch to an imaginary season two ready to go, he's not making it out of the finale alive. Even if the PO'd organisms in his petri dish of a town don’t find a way up to Pilcher Mountain, there are enough agents on the inside to put an end to his evil scientist ways. If it's not one of poor Reggie's friends, it'll definitely be his sister, Nurse Iago.
Chance Of Survival: 2%