Photos: Brian To / VH1; NBC

Tough Love & Order

Two men, one face.

Christopher Guerrini's designation on Tough Love: Co-Ed -- a show that purportedly helps unhappy singletons figure out what about them keeps repelling the people they want to attract, and fix it -- is "Mr. Peter Pan." According to series host/supposedly world-renowned matchmaker Steve Ward, Christopher's inability to maintain a satisfying relationship with a woman comes down to the fact that he's an immature, overgrown class clown. Since I'm not a world-renowned matchmaker, I guess it won't mean much if I say I think the reason Christopher has yet to find the lady who will one day be Mrs. Peter Pan is that the ones he meets aren't into his whole "busted Jeremy Sisto" thing. And since Sisto is now happily married, I hope for his sake that he stays that way. If he has to start working the same bars as Christopher, he risks someone mistakes him for "a better-looking version of that idiot."

AND YES, I am rooting for the Sistos DESPITE the fact that they mutually agreed to name their children "Charlie Ballerina" and "Bastian Kick," which should tell you how objectionable Christopher actually is.

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