Photo: Brian To/VH1

'Just About Everyone Here Is Damaged In Some Way'

Letting the host and cast of Tough Love: Co-Ed speak for themselves. Poorly.

  • Just about everyone here is damaged in some way.
  • So then why are you single?
    Oh, man. 'Cause I'm a douchebag!
  • I'm kind of a Kramer-esque computer scientist, in a way? I do have a Bachelor's of Science degree, so obviously I'm a fairly smart guy.
  • So, tell me about why you're single! ...So do you maybe think that your standards are too high?
    No, I don't think so.
    People ask me that often, and I'm like, 'Absolutely not. I feel like, if God made someone this awesome, he can make another one.'
  • I own a company that specializes in helping people with disabilities find employment. I would definitely do it for free if I didn't want to look as fabulous as I do.
  • My dating life is like my iPhone 5: I don't have one.
  • I don't think I'm high-maintenance, so if someone sees me and they think I'm high-maintenance, it's probably because they can't afford me.
  • I take care of myself. I have a routine every Saturday: I go shopping, go get my feet done, maybe go get a massage -- it's pretty much me, me, me, me, me, all the time. Most women these days, they expect for the man to do everything. I've done that before, and what did I get out of it? I'm not catering to a woman who doesn't have nothing to provide for me.
  • Rule #1. I've said it before. Don't be weird.
  • Say we totally, like, hit it off, get married, have kids, I get fat. Like, are you gonna be like, 'Kyle--'
    I put your ass in the gym.
  • I'm a health and fitness coach. I also dance and feature for the Chippendales, so I know how to shake it.
  • I take care of my body. I eat right, I train right, and I have a lot of sex, which is great cardio. I have been with many women in my life. It's definitely up in the thousands.
  • You know, I've had plenty of women. You know, I know what I want. Looks are number one, 'cause if you don't look good, I don't care about your personality.
  • I've cheated on between 90 and 99 percent of my girlfriends. Honestly, the only time I've felt in love was when the McRib-- when I first had the McRib.
  • Yes, I am high-maintenance, but I don't see why that should be an issue with dating!
  • In my opinion, an overgrown class clown is an assclown.
  • It's pretty clear you're Mr. Superficial.
    All I heard was 'Mr. Super.'
  • Rule #3. Don't act like you're easy. Right now, I know what every man in that room is thinking: 'Judy puts out.'
  • My whole life, I've just been trying desperately to get [my father's] approval.
  • Kris, do you feel that it would be difficult to get Judy into bed?
    Seems like, in the jacuzzi, give her a few drinks, you could probably scoot her up.
    A man wants to feel like he did something no one else can do. I think you cheapen yourself.
  • Every one of these women has been cheated on. And look where they are today.

For Careers Week we ask:

Which of the Tough Love: Co-Ed bros has the most woman-repellent job?

  • club DJ
  • itinerant hockey player
  • Chippendales dancer
  • "Kramer-esque computer scientist"
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