Timber Creek Lodge Might As Well Be In North Korea

As Texas tries to transplant itself to Whistler, Mark gets some competition at the bottom of our TCL Ranklings.

Nikita's take on Jenna -- her defense, muted though it is, of Trump; her stony disgust at the idea that Mark might actually like dudes, versus doing what he has to do for tips -- is surprisingly gentle and, I think, right on. Jenna's never gone out of her own world before, one where her own set of values doesn't have primacy (and, not for nothing, doesn't put her at or near their apex). Too, many of us shrugged the Commander In Cheeto off until late in the election cycle, and I can't imagine TCL filmed after the primaries, much less the general election.

And the idea that Jenna is getting lines fed to her about thinking men should "rule" is not a crazy one either. It's not that she doesn't believe that; she well may. It's that it's boiled down to a too-neat Schlafly sound bite I have trouble trusting...and I have the same trust issues with the guests' behavior this week. Production may not have told them how to be assholes, but I can't believe these people even know what the Canadian flag is, much less that they'd make any effort to take it down.

And then there's Mark's attempted takedown of primary guest Debbie. Is he the worst Lodger this week? Is she? Your TCL rankings, from top of the heap to back of the lift line!

  1. Colston
    My husband, when I giggled at Colston's "that's scary!" in the course of discussing his fear of actual wild cougars versus the metaphorical lady kind: "That was funny?" Well, compared to everyone else at Contrivance Chalet, he's a laugh riot -- but he does have a certain something to his delivery of lines like "This group of Texans is what we fear, as Canadians." His hyperventilated horror at Mark's decision to confront Debbie seems sincere, as does his disgust at what Debbie did to prompt it: "This is the most inappropriate thing that's happened with guests." It says something that all that comes after he spent the day skinny-dipping with Kristin, the model, but managed not to act like an obvious whore about it, Mark.
  2. Blake
    Does us all a solid by ratting Mark to Cynthia about writing in Cynthia's bra and ending that non-storyline; otherwise, barely onscreen as usz.
  3. Nikita
    You'd think these guests would send her over the edge and out to sea, but she keeps it frosty with them -- the walk-through of how to separate lobster meat from tail is exquisitely condescending, but not in any way they could exactly object to, and it's glorious to watch -- and with Jenna.
  4. Louise
    The tent seems to have reset her equanimity, and while her dragging Jenna for not knowing the difference between "the [Vancouver] Island" and "Ireland" is kind of mean, I can live with it.
  5. Jamie
    His management issues -- and those of his managees with him -- appear to have subsided, leaving Jamie to drop talking-head bon mots like "I do apres like a son of a bitch" and the abbreviated "Stage 5" to refer to Joel's multiple texts to Cynthia. His reaction to the Texans disrespecting the Bing that is the fanciest local eatery's vodka room seems disproportionate, given that this establishment did choose to...have a vodka room, so all the rambunction that logically follows is kind of on them, but when he realizes he Can't With the guests, he wisely details Mark and Colston to hang out with them instead.
  6. Cynthia
    Undertakes a handwriting-analysis investigation to unmask The Bra Tagger, but 1) fails to choose a phrase with all the relevant letters and 2) thinks it's spelled "Joal." Also wants us to believe she and Joel only cuddled. Girl, there are cameras and we saw his ass on them.
  7. Mark
    I mean...don't Sharpie ladies' foundation garments. They do cost a lot of money. (Picking it up with a spatula was kind of funny, though.) The shirtless flirting with Skylar is not the classiest, I guess, but everyone except Jenna was on the same page as to what it meant -- to wit, nothing -- and if he was going to rip a strip off anyone, it should have been Jenna, for 1) thinking his having woken up underneath a guy, not consenting, means he's bi and 2) being a baby about his working the "hall pass" angle. Instead, he marches over to the lodge to get in Debbie's face; horrible call given that they'd both been drinking, and he should have just routed his ire through Jamie and removed himself from dealing with the guests from then on. People like Debbie aren't going to "get it" and trying to make them when you work for them is always a mistake. But he's not wrong on the merits.
  8. The guests
    It's clear as of the request for "Segway tours, like a pub crawl" that the group's going to cause problems; hard to say how much the show told them to play up the "let's just bring all our Texas shit on the road" angle, know, it's Whistler, not Dubai. But "What are the poor people doing today?" is not a good look on anyone, much less on a guy like Skylar who appears to be, if not poor himself, the willingly kept lapdrunk of one of those tiresome middle-aged women who thinks of gay people as pets because Sex & The City told her that was okay. They're tacky, unadventurous, want everything cooked medium-well (I can actually get behind that one, but I'm pretty trashy my own self), and should stay the hell out of Mark's sexuality, and whatever Jenna's knee-jerk problem is with it. A free trip to BC is not worth showing your asses and everyone else's like this, IMO.
  9. Jenna
    Complaining to her mother (whom she describes as her best friend, which in my experience is not a leading indicator for a broad worldview) that she's bored, she whinges in a TH, "I might as well be in North Korea." Also appears not to know what "misogynist" means. Equates Mark's sexual assault by another man while he was modeling in New York with his liking dudes That Way; evidently oblivious to the flirting-for-tips concept; hangs their relationship laundry in the front window with the guests, which is comprehensible in an immature-lack-of-boundaries way, but still not okay given the work relationship...and the fundamental ignorance that sent Jenna into a spin in the first place.
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