Jamie Doesn't Have Much Luck Asserting His Authority On Timber Creek Lodge

But that's cool, because Mark doesn't need a manager. The cheese, however...

Calling the big boss to ask that he come over and assert your formal authority for you? Seldom a good look. The big boss explicitly noting that you made said call? Never a good look. Jamie's styling both of them on the third ep of Timber Creek Lodge, though, and it's not entirely his fault, as he's in charge pro-tem of Nikita (imperiously inflexible a la Below Deck's Ben) and Mark (failing to understand that, in the adult reality most of the rest of us occupy, "needing" a boss has zero to do with having one, and coping with him/her).

The bulk of the episode is taken up by that drama, the "I'm rich so you'll want to hear from me" critique Andrea "thoughtfully" offers on the timing of service, and the lighting of the fuse on Mark and Jenna's date that promises to blow a powder keg next week...while the competent and mature members of the staff practically disappear into the woodwork.

Whose cheese has the best integrity in "Don't Poke The Bear"? Your Lodgers, first to worst:

  1. Colston
    "You know what they say: no brain, no shame!" I didn't know that one, actually, and while I don't think it's entirely accurate of Cynthia -- she seems more like a "feels like she doesn't know how to be a 'girls' girl,' so she tries rilly hard on the guys'-girl tip" type -- it's a super-handy phrase. I also enjoyed his crack that it's sexist to ask him to turn off the smoke alarm.
  2. Blake
    Forgot all about him until that shot of him chillaxing in the hot tub with a beer; no objection.
  3. Louise
    Barely seen; no objection.
  4. Jenna
    Either she's comfortable giving Mark mixed messages by agreeing to a date, because she wants a decent meal cooked by someone else and a trip to the bone zone; she's actually warming to him as a relationship prospect; or the producers told her to go with it. This is Bravo, so it's probably a little from each column, and it's not hurting anyone so whatever. I like how relatably junky her palate is, too.
  5. Jamie
    Again, I feel for the guy -- having to remind nobody's-the-boss-of-me people that you are in fact their boss is not a good time -- and I respect that he snarked on Nikita's snotty tone, as a human being. But as a manager, that's not an effective strategy. I agree that he needs to be put definitively in charge, but now that that's happened, Jamie needs to definitively act like it. Ask for input, whatever, fine, but make a plan and give orders to execute it. It's like when parents are all "I need you to" or "could you please" with whatever behaviors; it's not your job to be liked. One thundered "knock it off" saves everyone a lot of time.
  6. Cynthia
    I forget who calls her energy "childlike," and there's definitely a little-sister "look at me put my actual foot in my actual mouth! look at me fart!" vibe. That the Whistler FD traipsed all the way out to the lodge on a bullshit call doesn't seem to occur to her when she's treating the firefighters like pets and dressing up in their unis.


    She also drives a snowmobile into a tree, and suggests Jenna get Mark to try Cheez Whiz for the first time by putting it on her nethers. H...a? But: no real objection.

  7. The guests
    Jimmy's enthusiastic and utterly Jersey "union meeting! in the hot tub!", and the unsulky vibe of the 15-year-old twins, almost makes up for Andrea's baseless cheese/sun concerns and condescending tone -- and even she's pretty positive and complimentary.


    And on the plus side, when guests are already that tacky, the overt mentioning of the gratuity envelope is less jarring. Slightly.

  8. Nikita
    I've said it about Ben Robinson before, and others in this particular Bravo-verse of shows, but if you really can't cope with people occasionally not liking your food, perhaps this isn't the right line of work for you. I'm totally Team Nikita when Andrea offers her self-aggrandizing take on Nikita letting the food sit too long, but on the other hand, if nobody's present, why not hold the food until everyone sits/shows up? The way it's communicated is kind of obnoxious, but she does have a point. And...she's the client. Her point always takes the match. That's the job.

    Ditto Nikita's rigidity re: making it work that the staff can join the guests for breakfast. Wouldn't you have a handful of extra bagels on hand to put out? You really only need to furnish like three staff members, and a nominal food item for each to have on his/her plate. You wait on rich people for a living; you really don't need to go looking for reasons to feel put-upon.

  9. Mark
    Guys, Mark doesn't need to be managed.

    ...Whatever. I mean, at least he's consistent; when Gibbons appears to name Jamie the manager officially, Mark makes the same bland bitchfaces he makes at Jamie, so it's not just Jamie he's not trying to hear from, but 1) just go put your uniform shirt on and keep the peace, it takes five minutes and 2) "infinitely creative romantically" is barf.

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