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Reason Exploding heads; death by chains.

Unexpected Wins And Turnarounds

Things shake out in surprisingly cool ways in The Walking Dead's ninety-minute season finale.

  • Previously

    Sasha thought she could take out all the walkers in hopes of getting her own spinoff, Lone Wolf And Cub Minus Cub. Maggie got picked to help Deanna run Alexandria, and then Maggie overheard Father Gabriel squeal on the group. Tara got injured as Noah and Aiden were killed in a warehouse and Nicholas bailed. Later, Glenn put Nicholas on notice. Rick had an epic freakout and had to be knocked out by Michonne after fighting with Pete on the street and waving his gun around at bystanders. Not exactly Rick's finest moment.

  • Place Of Interest

    The Best Part Of Waking Up Is Morgan In Your Car

    Well, this is quite the good omen. The episode opens with our good buddy Morgan, who has been sleeping in a car in the woods. Morgan wakes up with the sunrise and he seems different. Serene, happy even. What could be making a survivor smile like that?


    Oh, got it. Good fortune. That must be it.

  • Character Study

    W Is Also For Weirdo

    Name: Wolf Dude (As Yet Unnamed).
    Age: Mid-20s.
    Occupation: Pilferer, murderer.
    Goal: To have a normal human conversation because that's a rare event these days. Also, to steal everything campfire-having Morgan owns, including his life. And, for the purposes of the show, to explain what the "W" on all the walkers is -- an allusion to the way settlers marked wolves, wiped out the natives, and how everything is returning.
    Sample Dialogue: "I want everything you have. Every last drop."
  • Fight! Fight! Fight!

    A Kendo Attitude!

    Morgan is just sitting at his little campfire enjoying a packet of oatmeal (or maybe it's hot chocolate? Probably oatmeal), when he's held at gunpoint by Wolf Boy. Morgan tries to reason with the guy, even offering to give up all his possessions, but not his life. Maybe the dude should have taken the deal. When his buddy, who also has a W on his head, shows up to get the jump on Morgan, they're both given the thrashing of their lives by Morgan and his trusty stick, which he has apparently become a master with, studying under the tutelage of Master Splinter or something.


    After the two men are down, Morgan even takes a moment to behead a walker. He's not crazy about getting undead blood on his stick, so he wipes it off carefully.


    Then, because he's a gentleman, he places the two men in the secure car and honks the horn so the walkers will at least give Morgan enough time to get away.


    Oh, hey, free rabbit's foot! I guess it's lucky even if you're not actually carrying it.

    Winner: Morgan, and all fanfic writers, who are Find/Replacing "Michonne's Sword" with "Morgan's Deadly Stick" in all past works.

  • Meeting Time
    2015-03-30-the-walking-dead9 2015-03-30-the-walking-dead10 2015-03-30-the-walking-dead11

    It's Possible For Rick To Have An Even Worse Idea Than Last Time

    Who called the meeting? Michonne.

    What's it about? Rick has just woken up from being knocked out in public, and Michonne wants to know what the hell is going on with Rick and why he didn't tell her about Pete or that he was hiding a gun. Then Carol, Glenn, and Abraham show up to plot the next move.

    How'd it go? Carol thinks Rick was dumb for taking a gun from the armory, and tries to give him talking points for playing to the crowd if they try to throw him out. "Why?" Michonne asks. "Because they're children and children like stories," Carol says coolly. Rick's plan? If things go bad at the meeting, they'll use knives to take Deanna, Reg, and Spencer hostage. Wait, what!? Rick says that if the town gives up the armory, it's over. Rick admits that he screwed up, but Michonne doesn't seem convinced that things have to go this way. Rick says he has to go to sleep, but it seems like he just wants the meeting to be over. This was a terrible meeting! And no donuts, even!

  • Love, Hate & Everything In Between

    I Will Be Your Father Figure, Put Your Tiny Hand In Mine

    What a guy is Reg! As Maggie makes the case for Rick to be given a chance and Deanna pushes for Rick to face the consequences of his actions, it's Reg who stands in the middle as the voice of reason. When Maggie, frustrated, walks off, it's Reg who goes after her and reminds her that Alexandria is worth fighting for: "Civilization starts when we stop running. When we live together and stop sending people away." He promises he'll say that at the meeting when the town gets together to discuss Rick's fate. Maggie gets a little choked up, and you have to wonder if this elder, incredibly kind and fair man doesn't remind her of her dad an awful lot.

  • Here's An Idea

    Don't Lie With The Dead Undead

    Look, Sasha, we know you're Going Through Some Shit, but come on. That smell doesn't just come out when you decide you've spent enough time lying in a zombie mass grave and have to go back among the living. You're lucky Alexandria has dry cleaning.

  • Classifieds


    Several handguns from the Alexandria armory. No need to panic! We're sure they're probably just in a drawer with some missing chocolates or something, but in case you've seen one or two or three guns that may be missing (who can keep track!?), do let Olivia know. She's the one with the glasses.

  • Mutual of PTV's Animal Kingdom

    The Red-Hooded Human

    Daryl and Aaron are following this lone survivor, a guy who knows enough to rub wild plants on his face to keep away mosquitos, like he's on a National Geographic special. If he wants to blend in, that red hoodie has got to go. Does the guy think he's a post-apocalyptic matador or something?

  • Awkward

    Rick's Walk Of Shame

    Situation: Rick is heading home after spending the night in the pokey (by "pokey," I mean someone else's house, with Michonne watching).

    What makes it awkward? Everybody knows Rick fucked up the day before.

    How is order restored? Rick gives an awkward hi to Tobin and just keeps on walking. He also earns a dirty look as he passes Deanna's place. At least he didn't take out the gun Carol just gave him and wave it around at everybody.

  • Alert!

    Glenn's A Dead Man!

    Alert Type: Potential TV Cliché Alert.

    Issue: As Maggie and Glenn meet up, he tells her out of the blue that he loves her. No! Never do that on TV! It means you will soon die!

    Complicating Factors: Nicholas, who was just shaken up by Glenn, is creepily watching the couple and plotting.

    Resolution: Maggie goes back to try to convince the townspeople Rick is innocent, leaving Glenn alone to go get into trouble by following Nicholas as he jumps the fence.

    Spoiler: Glenn may not die, but this does not bode well!

  • And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor

    Del Arno Foods Canned Fruits & Vegetables

    Hungry? Or will you be hungry at any point in the future? Bring your raggedy ass down to the Del Arno Food Depot, where we have literally trucks full of canned goods ready for scavenging! How do we know they're canned goods and not a bunch of walkers locked in and set up as a booby trap? You sure ask a lot of questions, bub. Take our delicious word for it! It's totally not a trap! In fact, it's how the harvest gets home.

  • Fight! Fight! Fight!

    It's A Trap! vs. Aaron and Daryl

    Somehow, the two most intuitive, tracking sums-a-bitches on this show get lured into a trap of walkers trapped in multiple 18-wheelers. Walkers who don't make a sound and don't react to outside noises. Tricky, that!


    These walkers bear the W signs and they're not pretty.


    Daryl and Aaron are able to make a break for it, and Aaron uses his newly acquired Alaska license plate to do some damage. North to the future, bitches!


    Aaron and Daryl roll under a truck, but the walkers just follow.

    Gif: Previously.TV

    Gif: Previously.TV

    They're able to get away again thanks to Daryl's amazing Kratos-like chain skills.


    Aaron and Daryl get to a parked car, but would you know it, the door is jammed with walker brain.


    And it doesn't look like there's an easy way out.


    Well, shit. This information might have helped earlier.

    Winner: The walkers, for now: Aaron and Daryl are pretty trapped.

  • Hell Yeah!

    Do Not Fuck With Carol Or Her Casserole

    Carol pays Pete a little visit, asking him to check up on Tara since he's a doctor and all, and when he's less than cordial, she unloads on him. Carol sticks a knife against his neck and calmly explains how easy it would be for her to kill him and make it look like he attacked her. Pete cowers in the face of Carol's gigantic knife and when she says, "Come at me," he doesn't take the bait. "You're a small, weak nothing," she finally declares. Then she shoves the casserole back in his gut. "I want my dish back clean when you're done," she demands. Of course, once she's gone, Pete goes back to normal and drops the dish (but doesn't break it!) and starts breaking things. "This isn't my house!" he mutters. Womp womp.

  • Hell No!

    Glenn Down!

    Glenn follows Nicholas out of Alexandria and into the woods. Bad idea! He gets shot in the shoulder. Unfortunately for Nicholas, when he goes over to check on the body, Glenn has already disappeared.

  • Wanted



    for continuing to bother married ladies

    Name: Rick Grimes

    Last Seen: On Jessie's porch, again even after the whole town knows he's warm for her form.

    Likely Punishment: A horrible confrontation with Pete, who saw the whole thing from across the street.

    Reward: You get to vote him out of town at the big meeting.

  • Fight! Fight! Fight!

    Aaron and Daryl vs. Food Depot Walkers vs. Special Guest!

    Trapped in a car, Aaron and Daryl have plenty of time for a long chat about Daryl's efforts to fit in at Alexandria, how he'd rather be stuck in this car and about to die than trying to live a regular life, and how Daryl is going to sacrifice himself for Aaron by letting him run out right after he smokes a smoke. Say what? Aaron doesn't like that plan at all, and takes the blame for not following Daryl's instincts earlier about pursuing the red-hooded guy instead of coming here.


    Aaron says that if Daryl's gonna fight, so is he, and they'll do it together. Daryl doesn't cry, but he's definitely feeling the bro love and agrees. It's their Thelma & Louise moment! And a kiss would not have been unwarranted!


    Just when all hope is lost and the two are about to fight to their deaths, something smashes a walker's head into the passenger window.


    It's Morgan! And he's Deus Ex Machina up in this business!


    Introductions are in order even as Aaron is in awe of what just happened. Daryl asks why Morgan did all that to save them. "Because all life is precious," Morgan says, teary-eyed. Aw, Morgan, you big softie!


    Aaron tells Morgan they should bail before the trappers return, but that they have a home with comforts like electricity. Morgan says he has a destination but is a bit lost getting there. He shows them the map with Rick's name on it.

    Winner: Morgan.

  • Plot Lightning Round

    Trouble At Every Corner


    Father Gabriel goes into the woods to let himself get killed. But he can't even do that right. He ends up beheading the creature he's offered himself to and smashing it with a rock before breaking down crying.


    Abraham comes to visit Tara, but instead bonds with Eugene, who gives his version of a very sincere apology for how he lied. But, he insists correctly, those lies helped bring out something in Abraham they all needed.


    Gabriel returns, and Spencer asks if he'll close the gate behind him. Gabriel ignores the request and leaves the main gate wide open and there's nobody there to even see it. Way to fuck up everything, Spencer!


    Glenn gets the jump on Nicholas in the woods.


    But seeing as Glenn is shot, he's no match and is soon abandoned by Nicholas and pounced on by walkers. Is this it for Glenn?


    Rick apologizes to Michonne for lying to her and says he was worried she'd try to stop their plan to take over the town. He notes that she did knock him out. "That was for you, not for them," she says, touchingly. Rick offers her a gun, and though Michonne thinks they can still work through this and talk to the townspeople without guns, knives, or swords, she says she's still with Rick no matter what.


    Then Rick is left to alone to ponder his conversation with Bob about whether they're in real life or in a nightmare and whether it's worth waiting for the nightmare to be over.

  • Alert!

    Son Of A Breach!

    Alert Type: Security Alert.

    Issue: Looking out his window as one does, Rick notices that the gate holding back all the evil in the world is wide-ass open and there's undead gore all over it. Somebody needs to do something!

    Complicating Factors: Rick has a pretty important meeting he needs to go to in order to avoid getting kicked out of town.

    Resolution: Eh, fuck it, there might be walkers to kill! Rick goes to investigate instead of preparing his oral defense.

    Spoiler: Rick's cop instincts are usually right when it comes to impending danger.

  • Meeting Time

    This Isn't A Trial, But I Say He's Guilty!

    Who called the meeting? Deanna.

    What's it about? In a meeting that is strangely being held outdoors, at night by a pit fire, Deanna wants about a dozen townspeople and some of Rick's folks to speak up about the Rick situation.

    How'd it go? Unfortunately, Rick doesn't show up. Neither does Gabriel, whom Deanna reveals said some pretty harsh words about his new fellow arrivals. Michonne defends Rick by saying that he's the person they'll all eventually become. (Highly evolved Rick?) Carol tries to gently prod the town into being more aware of the dangers that Rick is trying to protect them from. Abraham just talks about vast ocean of shit and shitty grains of sand and shit shit shit. I guess he's got his mojo back. Maggie is perhaps most convincing in saying that Rick created this family and that nobody will tear it apart. Maggie then goes off to find Gabriel, and Deanna's meeting is eventually interrupted when Rick shows up with a pretty major surprise.

  • Love, Hate & Everything In Between

    Maybe Use A Confessional Next Time

    Sasha, in a world of mental hurt, goes to seek help from Gabriel, who could not give one single holy shit about Sasha and her stupid problems. "I think I want to die," Sasha says. Gabriel is perfectly fine with that, reminding her of her unspeakable acts. He says that none of them deserves to be alive. Sasha, finally fed up, attacks Gabriel, which is exactly what he wants. How bad does it get? Well...

    Gif: Previously.TV

    Gif: Previously.TV

  • Fight! Fight! Fight!

    Rick vs. Undead Invaders

    Rick tracks down the walkers who got through the fence. Luckily it's not a whole herd.

    Gif: Previously.TV

    Gif: Previously.TV

    But he still gets pinned down by a walker and has to use a special head-exploding maneuver to escape. It's pretty spectacular.


    Now Rick has some pretty convincing physical evidence showing why he should be kept around to protect Alexandria.

    Winner: Rick, by an exploding head.

  • Wrap It Up
    2015-03-30-the-walking-dead47 2015-03-30-the-walking-dead48

    Glenn is able to pin down Nicholas in the woods and starts beating him up.


    But being that it's Glenn, he can't find it in himself to actually kill the guy. So he helps Nicholas back to safety. Like a chump.


    After Maggie finds Sasha about to kill Gabriel and Gabriel lying on the floor crying, they have a surprising moment of prayer.


    The wolf guys from earlier in the episode have captured the man in the red hoodie. They kill him to add to their food depot trap collection of undead. "Welcome home," one of them says.


    They use remote-controlled flashing lights and music to get the walkers back in the truck. That's pretty clever.


    Rick mansplains that the gate was open, putting them all in danger. Spencer is like, "Oh shit!" and runs off to make sure it's closed now. Rick, bloodied up yet again in a public speaking situation, warns the town that there will always be dangerous people, alive and dead, trying to get in to take what they have. But they'll learn because he'll teach them. They'll survive. Rick wonders aloud how many of them he's going to have to kill before he can save them. Ha ha ha, okay, you can stop now, Rick. Now is not the time.


    As Rick talks, we see a montage of other characters. Judith and Carl watch the ballerina box.


    Tara wakes up.


    The scary wolf guys have photos from Alexandria and probably are plotting some nefarious action.

  • Passages

    R.I.P. Reg Monroe

    That asshole Pete shows up to take Rick down, but he's interrupted by Reg, who gets in his way. Unwisely, it turns out. Pete cuts open sweet Reg's throat, and Reg bleeds out in Deanna's arms as she wails for her lost love. Well, there goes the voice of reason in this town.

  • Passages

    R.I.P. Pete Anderson

    Devastated, Deanna tells Rick, "Do it." Rick doesn't hesitate at all, shooting Pete in the head in front of the whole town. See ya in hell, dickwad.

  • Awkward

    A Philosophical Difference

    Situation: Morgan shows up to meet his long-lost friend Rick. At the worst possible time.

    What makes it awkward? Morgan just said all life is precious. And he shows up just in time to see Rick execute a man.

    How is order restored? We'll find out next season!

  • Symbolism

    Samurai Back

    The Scene: In an epilogue, Michonne is back home after a very crazy night at the town meeting.

    The Symbol: Michonne decides to wear her sword instead of putting it back on the wall.

    The Meaning: Michonne the warrior is back!.

  • That Happened

    See You Next Season!

    In a parting shot, Red Hoodie Guy, new to the undead community, shuffles past a station wagon with the words "WOLVES NOT FAR." Guess we'll find out how far later this year.

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