The Long Dark Z-Time Of The Soul

Things get turgid again as the weary survivors ponder living and dying.

  • Previously

    Beth died and Maggie finally showed some emotion about her sister. Gabriel the priest felt guilt for letting down his flock in the most horrible way possible. Tyreese tried to bond with Sasha but they're like two different people, you know? Rick agreed with Michonne that they should head to Washington after shortly after finding a town in Virginia overrun by walkers. Tyreese was bitten and buried.

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  • Mutual of PTV's Animal Kingdom

    Soon The Worms, They Eating YOU

    Daryl dug into some soil and ate a live worm. Daryl is pretty hungry.


    And then Sasha found what used to be a body of water with a bunch of dead frogs. You'd think that might make for some good eating if you're starving, but Sasha doesn't seem to think so.

  • Dialogue

    Because Death

    Things are looking pretty grim for our remaining survivors as food and water become scarce.

    How much longer we got?
    60 miles.
    I wasn't talking about that.
  • That Quote
    "We're not at our strongest."
    - Rick Grimes, master understater -
  • Alert!

    Maybe You Should Have Fed Worms To The Baby

    Alert Type: Child Endangerment Alert.

    Issue: Baby Judith is hot, hungry, and thirsty. Weird that she's not even crying all the time, huh? (Or maybe she's just that exhausted.)

    Complicating Factors: Nobody else in the group has much in the way of food or water either and all this, plus the strain of two recent deaths, is taking a toll on people's nerves.

    Resolution: Daryl goes off to find food and/or water. Carol follows him.

    Spoiler: Judith is hiding a King-Sized Hershey Bar in her diaper. Unfortunately, by that I mean poop.

  • Enhance!




    Screen: Vevo/YouTube

    Screen: Vevo/YouTube

  • Awkward

    Fuck You And Your Hairshirts

    Situation: Father Gabriel tries to make small talk with Maggie about the heat by joking about hairshirts. He guesses she doesn't even know what that is.

    What makes it awkward? Maggie's father was a religious man; she knows what it is and furthermore, she's non-practicing, thank you very much, Mr. Priest.

    How is order restored? Maggie calls Gabriel out for having betrayed his flock, much to his mortification. "Don't act like that didn't happen," she warns him, coldly. Daaaaaaayummmmm!

  • That Happened

    Daryl Prepares His Cry Face

    Tyreese's death happened so quickly that no one even had time to process Beth's passing. Now, Carol tells Daryl that he can go ahead and let it out and "Let yourself feel it" before she touches his hair and kisses him gently on the forehead. So he does start to feel the grief. Sort of. This may take a little while.

  • Fight! Fight! Fight!

    Rick's Crew And A Bridge vs. Very Clumsy Walkers

    Rick knows his group is too weak and tired to straight-up fight a herd of walkers that's been following them, so he finds some high ground and makes a plan: just throw them down a hill off a bridge!


    Wait for it...




    Roll tide, motherfuckers!


    But then Sasha decides that's not enough revenge for her and she goes rogue, killing walkers with her knife instead of pushing them down the hill.


    This causes the group to have to chase after her and get their hands dirty.


    Rick almost gets Tyreese'd! It's not a great situation. Luckily, even weakened, the group has no trouble taking out the rest.

    Winner: Everybody living but Sasha, who is now seen as a liability.

  • Love, Hate & Everything In Between

    Sudden Frenemies: Sasha And Michonne

    Before the fight on the bridge, Sasha thought she could take out a bunch of those walkers herself. Michonne, a little alarmed, warned her that rage makes you stupid and that Tyreese had some of that in him. Sasha takes the opportunity to tell her that she's not like her dead brother, a line Michonne's not buying. Later on, when Sasha puts the group in danger by not sticking to the bridge plan, Michonne has to warn her to stop and it looks for a moment like there might be a human-on-human fight. But come on, is someone with a tiny knife really going to try to take on someone with a giant sword?

  • Hell No!

    Trunk Club: Post-Apocalyptic Edition

    Who knows how this old lady ended up in the trunk of a car; was she kidnapped before the zombie thing or was she placed there after she was infected or dead? It doesn't really matter; all we know is that Maggie finds this sad thing and can't deal. So she closes the trunk. Then, she changes her mind and tries to get it open so she can stop the creature's sad banging. But the key is jammed. Glenn comes over to help, but the whole experience leaves Maggie even more shaken than she already was.

  • On The Menu

    What's On The Menu After Dogs Try To Attack?

    From out of the woods, four dogs come to threaten our survivors, but Sasha is right there with some bullets to put them out. Now it's time for some much-needed eatin'!


    Why, there's:

    Leg o' Labrador: Don't mind our hind quarters!

    Dobermanwich: BYOBread.

    Rottweilerschnitzel: German-style with beer and hot mustard! (Hot mustard and beer not included.)


    Yeah, you probably shouldn't look at that.

  • Dialogue

    Have You Tried The Rottweilerschnitzel?

    Sasha is alienating everybody and giving some hard advice.

    I don't know if I'm gonna make it.
    Then you won't. Don't think. Just eat.
  • Symbolism

    Losing My Religion

    The Scene: Eating dog by a small fire, Gabriel is looking very guilty as he sits across from Maggie.

    The Symbol: Gabriel takes off his priest's collar and drops it in the fire.

    The Meaning: Like Maggie, he's lost his faith. Being responsible for the deaths of his entire flock of parishioners didn't accomplish that, but a cold shoulder from Maggie apparently can.

  • That Quote
    "I never thought she was alive."
    - Maggie, explaining why she never showed much emotion about Beth's disappearance -
  • Alert!

    Johnnie Walker As A Tribute To All The Walkers We've Killed

    Alert Type: Potential Alcoholism Storyline Alert.

    Issue: Despite dehydration danger, Abraham continues to swig from a bottle of liquor the group found. Everyone knows it's just going to make his hunger and thirst worse. But he keeps on with it.

    Complicating Factors: Everyone is depressed and thirsty, and Abraham hasn't been the same since he found out Eugene was lying about having a cure for zombies in Washington D.C.

    Resolution: Abraham keeps drinking and everyone pretty much leaves him alone.

    Spoiler: Abraham's a big guy. It would probably take the whole bottle and then some to really do any damage.

  • Bad Habits

    Daryl's Cry Face Triumphant

    Daryl has to burn himself on the hand with a cigarette in order to feel something, but at least it works!


    He's able to cry actual tears for Beth after spotting a small barn that remind him of the place where he and Beth holed up for a little while.

  • Playing Games

    Is This One Of Those Hunger Games Care Packages?


    What's the game? Water Supply Truth Or Dare.

    Who's playing? Rick's group has found a note and a bunch of water but they're afraid to drink it. Who's it from? The group doesn't know that Morgan is following. Could it be from him?


    What's at stake? Literally life and death, since they're having a hard time finding water. But they also know that strangers are very dangerous.

    Who wins? No one. Eugene tries to take the hit for the group by taste-testing a bottle, but gets it knocked out of his hand by Abraham. Rick says they're not taking it, so it just stays in the road. Maybe some walkers will take the hint and take a goddamn bath.

  • That Happened

    But Forget All That, Says God

    The debate over whether to drink the suspicious water bounty is quickly forgotten because immediately, just like in a movie when someone asks, "What else could go wrong?!", it starts to rain heavily. Everyone opens their mouths to drink the stank rainwater. Until it starts raining a little too hard and they realize they need some shelter. Lucky for them, Daryl had just spotted a barn he forgot to tell anyone about.

  • I Am Not A Crackpot

    Dear Mister President, There Are Too Many Female Elderly Undead Creatures Found By Maggie In The Same Episode!

    Please eliminate one, but don't make Maggie have to be the one to do the eliminating. She's having a bad week.

  • Meeting Time

    Did Anyone Here Major In Philosophy?

    Who called the meeting? Rick.

    What's it about? The nature of reality and how one lives in this awful world.

    How'd it go? Remember in Season 2 when all the characters were living on a farm and all they did was talk about whether it was better to be alive or dead in such a horrible world? Well, how about some of that in a barn? It begins with Rick wondering if kids like Carl are better at adapting to these changes. Then they talk about whether this is reality or just a temporary state until things get better. As everyone gets contemplative, Rick tells the story of his grandfather and how he used to ask him questions about his experiences in World War II. His grandfather said he was dead whenever he went to war.

  • That Quote
    "We do what we need to do and then we get to live... We tell ourselves that we are the walking dead."
    - Rick, on the nose after five seasons -
  • Plot Lightning Round

    Siege At The Barn


    Daryl is on night watch, restless, when he peeks out of the locked doors of the barn.


    Well, that's not good! A herd of walkers is approaching. Daryl tries to hold the barn doors closed against them by himself, but that's not going to work.


    One by one, the others wake up and come over to help, starting with Maggie.


    Soon, the whole group, save Baby Judith, is trying to keep the walkers out. The scene goes on for what feels like forever as they dig their heels into the mud and try to stay alive against all odds.

  • A Wizard Did It

    Deus Ex Stormina

    And then the whole group wakes up just fine the next morning. Hey, what the hell? Did the walkers just punch out on their time clock or get tired and go home? The undead never get tired, don't need breaks, and never give up. Unless someone went out there and killed all the walkers, how did this get resolved?


    The walkers were defeated by nature and trees?! Oh, come on. Way to M. Night Shyamalan it up.

  • Wrap It Up

    Maggie and Sasha go look at the rising sun and decide life's worth living. Sorta. "We're gonna make it," Maggie says as they both get teary-eyed.


    Maggie winds the music box that Daryl said he just fixed, but it won't play.


    A clean-cut, not-stinky-looking man named Aaron suddenly shows up, introducing himself. He says he'd like to talk to the person in charge, and he knows that person is named "Rick." "I have good news," he tells Sasha and Maggie.


    And wouldn't you know it, that's when the music box decides to start playing. Creeeeeepy!

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