This article has some content you might find disturbing!Reason Gore and beheadings aplenty, plus puking.
The Snarl Of Carl
Teenage rebellion bubbles up at an unfortunate time as Carl decides he doesn't need his weak old man anymore.
Michonne used to lead two walkers around on chains, Rick did some farming, The Governor refused Rick's offer to have their factions live together and since he had a tank on his side he attacked but failed, Hershel was beheaded, baby Judith appeared to be eaten (but we didn't buy it), and Carl and Rick left the smoking ruins of the prison, unsure of where anybody else ended up.
The View From Above
Hey, remember that one time when we saw a cool overhead shot of a tank being overrun by walkers? Well, here it is again, but this time, it's in the burned-out, abandoned jail where our survivors were attacked and where they scattered last time we saw them. So that's what the prison looks like to a bird!
Let's Just Make Sure One More Time That He's Not Coming Back
It's reassuring to see a bullet hole in The Governor's head, because you never know, they could try to bring him back somehow. Surely they thought about it. Let's make a pact: no more Governor ever again.
Here's An Idea
Stop Making Pairs Of Walkers Your Pets
If your goal is to freak out everybody you meet, then by all means, find two walkers, cut off their arms and mouths, and parade them around like a couple of oversized shopping bags you picked up at the mall. Yes, I know, it's supposed to be a way to blend in with walkers, but why not just carry around two heads on a stick? Or carry a sack of guts on your back? The whole leash bit seems much too cumbersome. And by the way, would cutting off a walker's jaw and arms really make them so docile? Did you also cut out the part of their body that still wants to eat you? It was bad-ass the first time we saw it. Now it just looks like the weirdest affectation of the post-apocalyptic world.
Hershel The Farmer Returns To The Land
It sure doesn't ease the sting of knowing Hershel won't be on the show anymore to see his still-living noggin in the grass. Michonne must feel the same way, because she stabs the head dead with her sword. Never let it be said that Hershel was not the most headstrong of all the survivors.
Place Of Interest
Something's Cookin' At Joe And Joe Jr.'s BBQ Shack!
There's still a little bit of food left at the old BBQ shack, but unfortunately old Joe apparently couldn't put down Joe Jr. when the shit went down. When Carl shows up with Rick, who looks beaten-up and weak and can't keep up with his son, they find Joe Jr. the walker barricaded up. Rich has the bright idea of drawing Joe Jr. out instead of shooting. That doesn't work out so well when Rick can't even kill the thing with a hatchet to the head. Carl shoots Joe Jr. "Every bullet counts!" Rick admonishes. Carl's like, "Oh, go look for some brisket, old man."
There Might Be Some Tension
Carl, sick of Rick's parental bullshit, doesn't stick to protocol when they try to occupy an empty house. Carl thinks the house is clearly empty and when Rick tries to be more cautious, Carl bangs on the wall and calls out.[yelling] Hey asshole! Hey shitface!Watch your mouth!Are you kidding me?Alert!
The Xbox Zero
Alert Type: Videogame Treasure Trove Alert.
Issue: Inside the house, Carl finds his dream bedroom, full of video games, books, plenty of natural light, and geeky posters.
Complicating Factors: Well, there's not really electricity. Sorry, Carl. No Grand Theft Auto V for you.
Resolution: Carl reads a book instead. And he uses a monitor cable to secure a door.Flashback
Michonne Had A Nice Apartment, A Lover, A Kid And A Bad Dream
In a mix of flashback and nightmare, Michonne remembers herself as a gorgeous, well-dressed, charming dinner hostess with an adorable son and a sexy lover named Mike (neither is wearing a wedding ring). As Mike sits with a friend and Michonne chops up snacks with a sword and makes small talk about a movie they apparently saw, the scene changes. Michonne picks up her son, but Mike and his friend change from their clean, modern clothes to grungy survival-wear. The conversation goes from light to a talk about whether they should stay at the their camp. Dream Michonne keeps talking as if nothing is wrong as the men debate leaving their camp. Mike struggles to figure out the right move for their son as Michonne asks who's going to open the wine. When she looks up, her son is gone from her arms and she sees this:
Cue the high-pitched yelping/screaming. Michonne wakes up in a car, her new walker pets rattling around outside.Very Useful Stats
Number of times Carl tells Rick, who appears to be in a coma as he lies on a couch, to "WAKE UP!":
Here, Zombie, Zombie, Zombie!
What's the game? Lead The Walkers Away From The House
Who's playing? Carl and a couple of walkers who were banging on the front door.
What's at stake? Rick, who is out cold and can't defend himself.
Who wins? Carl appears to have the upper hand until a third walker gets into the mix, and Carl has to sink a bunch of his bullets into killing the walkers and isn't slick enough to keep them all from falling on top of him in a dog pile. For being dead, the walkers seem to have done pretty well for themselves in terms of smarts on this one. Walkers win, even though Carl doesn't die.
But he does throw up. Then he says "I win," as he did earlier when competing with Rick in who could get the most food supplies. You call that winning? The GIF begs to differ.Meeting Time
Carl Calls A Very One-Sided Meeting
Who called the meeting? Carl.
What's it about? Carl wants to give Rick, who is still unconscious, an update on their safety situation. And to vent a little.
How'd it go? Tantrum-y! Carl tells his dad that he killed three walkers, luring them away. He neglects to mention that he used a bunch of bullets and had three zombies fall on him. Carl brings up their woeful time as farmers and tells Rick bitterly that he knows how to survive without his father and no longer needs him. "You couldn't protect Judith!" Then he rattles off a list of others Rick couldn't protect, most of whom are still alive for all we know. It's really just an excuse for Carl to deliver a little monologue of teenaged independence and rebellion. As such, for anyone watching who is no longer a teenager, it's just embarrassing.That Quote"I'd be fine if you died."- Carl, to a comatose Rick -Fight! Fight! Fight!
Carl vs. The Undead Guardian Of The Pudding
Not content with the house he and Rick have found, Carl goes exploring in the neighborhood and breaks into another home. He thinks the place is empty, but finds a walker who was quietly biding his time in one of the upstairs rooms.
Uh oh! Shutting the door on it doesn't work!
Neither does shooting the air above its head!
But not a very good one. It's still coming. Too bad there aren't any more bullets!
How about the window?
Carl gets away, but loses a shoe. Seems like a pretty fair trade.
Winner: Carl, winner of a gigantic can of chocolate pudding. He writes, "Walker inside. Got my shoe didn't get me."And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor
Hangry-Buster Big Can O' Chocolate Pudding
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Michonne vs. Every Walker For Miles
It all starts when Michonne is walking along, just minding her own business with her two walker companions, when she sees a woman with dreads.
Does Michonne recognize the woman? We're not sure, but it sure makes Michonne mad because she cuts the walker in half, length-wise.
Then she cuts another head off.
Here's a two-fer!
Have some more of this, jerks!
Uh oh, Michonne even killed her own guys, who were like, "We are ever your humble serv- OW, SHIT!"
Everybody's dead (again) and Michonne is crying. Don't mess with her. But then, you already knew that.
Winner: Michonne.Plot Lightning Round
Carl's Not So Tough After All
Carl wakes up in the middle of the night and notices that Rick is moving and groaning. He's probably dead and already turned, right?
Carl prepares to shoot. Gotta shoot the undead, right?
Rick unwisely reaches out in a menacing manner and groans.
Carl realizes he can't shoot his dad, no matter how tough he may be. He lowers the gun and gives up, preferring to die than to have to kill Rick.
Luckily, Rick chooses that moment to finally say, "Carl," and roll over, proving harmless.
Carl confesses that he's scared and that he can't do it alone.
Meanwhile, Michonne found some footprints and is tracking them down. She stops at Joe and Joe Jr.'s BBQ Shack to have an emotional moment with ghosts from her past.
She finds the can of pudding as she seeks out Carl and Rick.
Carl and Rick bond and make peace.
A Rare Laugh On A Grim Show
Michone knocks on the door. Even though they know it's not walkers (who don't knock), Rick and Carl draw their weapons because something even worse than the undead could be outside. Rick tensely peeks through the peephole. He grins and then collapses in a fit of happiness. Finally, he has some good news to share. Ending the episode on a rare up note, he says to Carl, "It's for you."