Screen: AMC

Showdown. Shootout. Shame What Happens Next.

Evil Eye Patch suffers some unforeseen consequences in a do-over of his prison attack, but at a steep price for Rick's crew.

  • Previously

    In Woodbury, Michonne killed The Governor's zombie daughter and stabbed his eye; Rick and The Governor threw shade at each other and failed to reach a deal on handing Michonne over; Carol was sent packing for killing two flu-suffering survivors; The Governor joined a new camp and promptly killed off the leadership, before devising a plan that involved stalking Rick's prison.

  • Meeting Time
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    The Governor Calls A Meeting Of The Not-Ready-For-Attacking-A-Prison Prime-Time Players

    Who called the meeting? The Governor.

    What's it about? The plan to attack the prison is revealed by a back-in-the-leadership-saddle The Governor. He makes a major point of saying that his group can take the prison over and kick out the current residents without actually firing a shot, which seems like a tall order, but these people are scared stupid. Oh, and by the way, did The Governor mention that he has some hostages he went and captured? Michonne and Hershel? Oh, sorry, people, that's totally what's happening. Hostages, but for real, this can be done without killing them! Probably. Maybe. Let's just say you shouldn't get too attached to them.

    How'd it go? Surprisingly well given that these people, who number fewer than twenty, don't seem to have much experience with taking over anything bigger than an RV. Maybe they just haven't had time to think about the fact that since this guy in black showed up, they've lost two leaders in a row. And suddenly Brian Patch-Eye has a fully formed plan for their future that he just pulled out of his black-jeans-clad ass? That didn't strike anyone as strange and coincidental? And nobody's strolled by the pond recently and seen Pete waving his arms around in there? The Governor wins them over by pointing out that most of the people in the prison (why not say all?) are thieves or murderers and that they killed his daughter. They buy his spiel, eye patch, Johnny Cash attire, and all.

  • Love, Hate & Everything In Between
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    Screen: AMC

    Lilly Gets A Clue

    Lilly has begun to figure out that she's hitched her wagon to a complete asshole, one who just lied to the group by saying that no one would be killed in the upcoming prison invasion. He's more honest with her, saying they'll just be "killing killers," which leads her to ask if she's with a bad guy. The Governor says he only cares that Lilly and Meghan stay still alive and breathing — which, as romantic sweet nothings go, is pretty piss-poor. Then he says he loves her, but Lilly's not even sure who this guy is anymore. He tells her to pack and kisses her cheek. Lilly looks like she's going to vomit.

  • That Quote
    "I'm gonna kill you."
    - Michonne, to The Governor -
  • Alert!
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    Screen: AMC

    What's It Going To Take To Put You And Me In A Prison Together?

    Alert Type: Master Negotiator Alert.

    Issue: The Governor is chatting with his hostages Michonne and Hershel in a trailer and, for once, seems to be listening to reason. Hershel tries to get him to reach a compromise where perhaps everybody lives together in peaceful harmony under one prison roof. Why the hell not?

    Mitigating Circumstances: Even as The Governor appears to forgive Michonne, he says he can't live in the same place as her or co-exist with Rick. His empathy is further stripped away when he doesn't seem to care that Hershel's daughters might die in the invasion. They're not his daughters, The Governor says.

    Resolution: No deal despite Hershel, whose hands are literally tied, making a lot of sense and being called "a good man" by The Governor. It's not much of a compliment considering where it's coming from.

    Spoiler: You can't really negotiate with a psychopath and expect him to follow through.

  • Place Of Interest
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    Screens: AMC

    Biters Hate Water! I Think I Heard That Somewhere.

    As they ready the attack, The Governor tells Lilly to stay put at Camp Water Shield, a little spot next to a river where, he says, biters can't get to them because they won't make it across water. Really? Are you sure about that? What about this side of the shore? Aren't there still biters walking around? And, as Lilly points out, if water acts as a natural shield against biters, why not move to an island instead of trying to take over a landlocked prison next to a forest? There's also some red mud about fifty distant yards away for Meghan to play in, even though they just recently saw a bunch of biters trapped in mud. Nobody seems to be giving anything much thought since The Governor took over.

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  • Hell No!
    Screen: AMC

    Screen: AMC

    Stop Cuddling, You're Gonna Die!

    Oh no, a lovey-dovey, sunlit scene between Glenn and Maggie early in an episode promising death and violence means one of them is going to die, right? Glenn, still recovering from the flu, is laid out and weak as Maggie comes to check in on him. He says that they're due for an anniversary soon but he's not sure when. An anniversary!? And Maggie's promising to take him to Amicalola Falls, a place she visited as a kid? You guys, shut up! That's as bad as saying you're two days away from retirement! Sorry, you both seem doomed. DOOMED!

  • I Am Not A Crackpot
    Screen: AMC

    Screen: AMC

    I Am Not A Crackpot, I Just Think The Walker Apocalypse Needs More Visual Artists Who Take Chances With Their Work

    Hear me out! I am not advocating that someone should kill rats and leave them at the prison fence for walkers to eat, or to use a rat eviscerated on a canvas for others to find in a very tense moment, such as the time when Rick just told Daryl about Carol hitting the road and they both go to tell Tyreese. I mean, who knows how that emotional powder keg might react, since he's all freaked out about finding such a piece of rodent realism. Alls I'm saying is that, in this apocalyptic landscape, the likelihood that an original visual artist with a clear vision and direct technique is probably going to be pretty hard to come by. Anyone (and I'm guessing our anonymous artist is a pre-teen girl) who can use found (okay, killed) objects to put forth her bold artist's vision in ways that challenge other survivors to rethink life is someone to be encouraged, not vilified.

  • And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor
    Screen: AMC

    Screen: AMC

    U.S. Army Tanks!

    Need some leverage in an upcoming high-stakes meeting with your sworn enemy? Why not try U.S. Army Tanks? They're big, durable, green, and can probably blow a hole right through your enemy's home base. Sure, they get completely shit gas mileage, but in most situations like this, you're only making a one-way trip to crush your foes and take their base of operations. Just remember to learn to aim so you don't look like a complete n00b shooting off parts of a building randomly instead of, say, taking out your enemies with lethal cannon fire. Tanks: so useful and powerful, you'll be saying, "Tanks, U.S. Army. Tanks a lot!"

  • Meeting Time
    Screen: AMC

    Screen: AMC

    The Governor Requests The Honor Of Your Complete Surrender, Rick

    Who called the meeting? The Governor.

    What's it about? After firing a shot at the prison with his tank (what happened to "without a single shot fired?"), The Governor demands that Rick meet him at the fence to discuss what he wants. What he wants is for Rick and his people to get the hell out of the prison and leave it to the new group.

    How'd it go? Long and unsuccessful. The Governor's dramatics, which include presenting Hershel and Michonne as prisoners, give Daryl and the others time to organize an escape while Rick all but begs The Governor and his people to try to find a peaceful solution. The Governor refuses to let his prisoners go, and gives Rick & Co. until sundown to leave or die. He's unmoved by Rick saying that they have children inside, some of whom are sick and won't survive being transported out like that. Because he's The Governor and The Governor is a total dick.

  • Here's An Idea
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    Screens: AMC

    Watch Your Damn Kid, Lady

    Sure, The Governor said that this spot by the river is safe, but that's what you thought about your last camp, and your daughter almost got killed by a biter nobody spotted. Now you've got Meghan playing in mud so far away as you sit on top of an RV, Lilly, that there's no way you could get to her in time if she got into any trouble. It doesn't help that you're distracted by a biter trying to make it across the river.

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    Which doesn't work out so well for him.

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    It's must-see viewing, though!

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    Meanwhile, Meghan is digging up old flood signs from the mud.

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    And uncovering an unwelcome surprise.

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    Very unwelcome!

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    It sure is a long way down those RV stairs and even further to where Meghan has been sitting all alone, huh?

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    So, yeah. Thanks, Mom.

  • That Happened
    Screen: AMC

    Screen: AMC

    The Littlest Nannies

    These are two girls clumsily lugging Judith (or Li'l Asskicker) around in her baby carrier. Note that, for them, carrying this thing is a huge pain in the ass. It would probably be faster and easier if the baby were out of the carrier, right, before going with Lizzie to help defend the prison? Just sayin'.

  • Plot Lightning Round
    Screens: AMC

    Screens: AMC

    Rick Does Not Persuade The Governor

    Rick swallows his hatred of The Governor and suggests, as Hershel had, that they can all live together in the prison. In separate cell blocks, even, until they can find a way to make peace.

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    There's some uncertainty within the group, but loyal Mitch says they're taking what Rick has and for the asshole to get lost.

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    The Governor gives Rick's proposal a second, but he's not thrilled with Rick saying people can change. "Liar," he mutters.

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    And cuts Hershel in the throat with a sword!

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    Maggie: "OH SHIT, DADDY!"

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    And then the shooting starts.

  • We Made A List
    Screen: AMC

    Screen: AMC

    Who Shot Whom (Or Tried) In The First Part Of the Shootout

    • Rick and Carl shot, most likely Carl hit The Governor in the arm
    • The Governor's people started shooting
    • Daryl and Carl shot together while Maggie opened fire, too
    • Someone in The Governor's crew shot Rick in the leg
    • Tara put down her gun and refused to shoot anyone
    • The Governor shot an already-dead Meghan in the head after Lilly carried her to him. RIP Meghan.
  • Passages
    Screen: AMC

    Screen: AMC

    R.I.P. Hershel Greene, 1944 (Est.)-present

    Most people would never survive a sword chop to the neck, but this tough old guy with one leg sure did. It's too bad The Governor was batshit enough to follow him and take a few more whacks, finally beheading poor Hershel, who we'd come to love. We'll miss his fairness, kindness, cornball humor, and homespun wisdom. That shit was so homespun you practically had to buy it by the spool! So long, Hershel. We hope whatever afterlife you end up with leaves you richly rewarded.

  • That Happened
    Screen: AMC

    Screen: AMC

    Tank! (Minus James Garner)

    The Governor stupidly sends in his tank, rendering the only livable place for survivors in Georgia completely unlivable by knocking down the fences that were keeping out all the walkers.

  • Fight! Fight! Fight!
    Screen: AMC

    Screen: AMC

    The Governor vs. Rick And Special Guests

    Rick dive-tackles The Governor, who was bringing up the rear in the tank attack. The Governor fights back and starts beating the crap out of Rick's oft-pummeled face and then choking him. Things look pretty grim for our lawman until:

    GIF: Previously.TV

    GIF: Previously.TV

    Showing both compassion and complete idiocy, Michonne leaves The Governor on the ground, alive and walks away to help Rick find Carl. Does she want him to come back for another season? Damn, Michonne, finish him!

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    It turns out that's unnecessary. Lilly, who trusted this dipshit to keep her family safe, does the honors.

    Winner: Rick, Michonne, and Lilly.

  • Symbolism
    Screens: AMC

    Screen: AMC

    Chess Is Easier When You Only Play Against Little Kids

    The Symbol: The eye-patched chess king, crushed underfoot.

    The Scene: The Governor's just been killed and the attack on the prison has gone awry. The chess piece must have fallen out of The Governor's pocket.

    The Meaning: Duh, the would-be king got his ass thrashed.

  • Plot Lightning Round
    Screens: AMC

    Screens: AMC

    Everybody, Scatter!

    A weakened Glenn makes it onto the escape bus, but Maggie leaves him to go find Beth after telling her to go round up the other survivors.

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    That spooky lady from the forest, Clara, stops by for a visit!

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    Daryl makes a shield out of a walker because he is Daryl.

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    Tara needs no more evidence to confirm that she does not like violence and that this whole guns thing is totally not her scene.

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    Bob is shot, but there's an exit wound, so he'll probably be fine.

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    But the bus is leaving.

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    Alisha: "Did little girls with guns just kill a guy next to me?"

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    Yep!

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    Carol would be so proud. Tyreese, on the other hand, is just horrified. He chases after the girls to get them out.

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    Daryl takes out the tank with a well-place grenade.

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    And he leaves a little something for Mitch as well before he escapes with Beth.

  • Hell No!
    Screens: AMC

    Screens: AMC

    Well That Took A Dark, Cheap Turn

    Rick finds Carl, who shoots two walkers to get to his dad. But the two of them find Judith's baby carrier, which is smeared with blood. Hey, come on guys, it could just be cranberry juice or really funky baby poop that Judith left before she was taken out of her carrier by the Shoot 'Em Up Kids Gang. Babies be messy! All right, fine, it's possible she could have been eaten, too. That's certainly how Rick and Carl take it.

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  • Snapshot
    Screen: AMC

    Screen: AMC

    Goodbye, Prison

    Rick tells Carl, "Don't look back," as they leave behind the burning, walker-infested, flu-infected, house of death. Maybe living in prison just sounded better on paper. Oh well, live and learn. See you in February!

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