Ninety-Nine Problems And The Dead Are One Thousand

Alexandrians and newcomers alike struggle to face unpleasant realities, mostly by making terrible decisions.

  • A Wizard Did It

    What Cliffhanger?

    Deanna, clearly still shattered and all but useless, ascends to a lookout post on Reg's wall which is still marked with his name. From there she can barely hear Michonne alerting Maggie and Rosita that Glenn (and presumably Abraham) are still Out There. And then she can hear Rick, bellowing for someone to open the gate as he runs toward the community. He makes it safely inside, but all Deanna sees are the hundreds of undead he just led to her walls. How did he escape all those walkers surrounding his stalled RV? How is he not affected by the zombie blood that must have entered that cut on his hand? How has he been able to travel on foot for so many miles at a dead run? Clearly, among all those walkers around, there is a wizard looking out for him as well.

  • Meeting Time

    Good News, Panic-Worthy News

    Who called the meeting? Rick.

    What's it about? The half of the zombie herd currently surrounding Alexandria's walls, "twenty deep," and Rick's challenge to the citizens to hold up as well as he knows the walls will.

    How'd it go? Rick delivers an optimistic message: Daryl, Sasha, and Abraham will return with their vehicle to lead this half of the herd away like they did the others, and then Glenn and Nicholas will stroll right in. Obviously Rick is at least partly wrong. He's also wrong to suggest that they keep the town as quiet as a graveyard, because that leaves an opening for one of the residents to say that's what it is. Fortunately Aaron steps up to defend Rick, saying his plan led half the walkers away. As opposed to Aaron, whose backpack apparently led all the Wolves to the community. Advantage: Grimes. Deanna, meanwhile, just wanders off. Good talk, everyone.

  • Here's An Idea

    Don't Make Rules That Overwhelming Undead Hordes Might Keep You From Following

    Rick comes across Jessie about to violate his edict about burying killers inside the walls, specifically the Wolf she Supercut in her kitchen. He suggests they wait instead. Which is actually not a tough sell, because who wouldn't rather dig a grave later than now?

  • That'll Do

    Spencer For Higher Standards

    Olivia's attempts to prevent the wholesale raiding of the community food pantry prove futile, but when Deanna's surviving son Spencer rolls up, he uses his moral authority -- conferred upon him as the guy who shot up the incoming Wolf truck -- to shame the residents into putting stuff back. The proud quarter-smile Deanna gives him is the least walker-like she's seemed all week.

  • Place Of Interest

    The Alexandria Memorial

    Aaron strolls past a spot where people are painting the names of Alexandria's dead on the inside of the wall. Including Glenn's. It's too bad they can't paint the names on the outside, because this way, when the walkers push the wall down, the names are going to be where no one can see them.

  • Alert!

    It's Greek To Me

    Alert Type: Latin Alert.

    Issue: Deanna pulls out one of Reg's old plans for the wall and marks it up with ambitious plans for crops, education, energy, and other features of a community not currently facing certain doom. She adds the notation "Dolor hic tibi proderit olim," which is Latin for "My grief will not prevent me from being pretentious as fuck."

    Complicating Factors: Under the circumstances, Deanna's to-do list might as well be the plans for the Crazy Horse Monument.

    Resolution: Deanna finds Spencer drunk in the kitchen, which he's loaded up with food that he stole from the pantry. Because a public mass looting would be disastrous, but if just one guy does it in secret that's totally cool, as long as that guy is Spencer.

    Spoiler: Spencer's a mean drunk.

  • That Quote
    "You made us this way! We were never safe here. But you didn't want to see that. You didn't want us to see that… What happened to dad, to Aidan -- that's all you."
    - Spencer Monroe, mean drunk, to his mom -
  • Awkward

    Moronic Love Triangle

    Situation: Carl wants Ron to help him get over the wall to go find Enid.

    What makes it awkward? Ron is still jealous that Carl sort of stole his girlfriend, and now refuses to do anything to help him find her.

    How is order restored? After a brief shoving match, Ron informs Carl that he's going to stop him by telling Rick. Ron apparently has a hilarious misapprehension of Rick's ability to make Carl stay anywhere.

  • Health
    From the desk of





    Bullet wound to the leg, sustained in a friendly-fire incident several episodes ago. Wound is infected and he hasn't woken up, so he's probably going to die, plus all the rest of us, most likely. It's the end of the world.


    I haven't the faintest idea.

    Refill Until the end of the world, which is any day now. times
    Nice of Tara to stop by for 45 seconds, I suppose.

  • Hell No!

    Bum Thy Neighbor

    Jessie stops by the home of a friend, only to find she's slit her wrists. Leave it to an Alexandrian to kill herself in a way that's just going to make someone else re-kill them later. Worse, in a way that prompts that person to make a speech to the assembled neighbors who just witnessed the act. "This is what life looks like now," she lectures. I'm not sure if listening to that speech was better or worse than being stabbed in the eye.

  • Travel

    The Alexandria Underground

    Maggie is insisting on leaving to look for Glenn, and Aaron is insisting on helping her. But instead of going over the wall, he takes her under it. Welcome to the sewers, Maggie! For somebody who isn't into the ladies, Aaron sure can show a girl a good time.

    Sewer FAQ

    Q: Is that safe?
    A: Hell no.

    Q: Isn't it pretty gross?
    A: Hell yes.

    Q: Anything they should be looking out for?
    A: Keep an eye out for a pair of slippery, mushy shit-zombies that have been fermenting in public excrement for years now. Have fun trying to push one away as your hand goes right through its ribcage!

  • Here's An Idea

    Don't Teach Murder Skills To Someone Who Hates Your Son

    Ron finds Rick on the lookout post and warns him that Carl was talking crazy about going out after Enid. Rick's about to go check on Carl this second, but first he assents to Ron's request for shooting lessons. Hard to see how this could go wrong.

  • Love, Hate & Everything In Between

    Doctor Doctor, Give Me The News

    Denise has figured out how to save Scott by the seemingly obvious expedient of drawing pus out of his leg with a syringe. Too bad for Griselda on that other show that this never occurred to anyone around her. Having saved a life, Denise goes to thank the person who inspired her to pull it off.


    Or maybe she wanted to do that anyway.

  • That Happened

    End Of The Line

    Maggie and Aaron's outing hits a dead end; too many walkers near the exit grate. Maggie is forced to accept that she'll never know what happened to Glenn, plus right now she's kind of regretting that dingbat move of burning his Polaroid of her. Oh, and also she's pregnant.

  • Family Matters

    Sam I Am Trying

    Who's causing a family crisis? Jessie's younger son, Sam.

    How? Sam refuses to come downstairs, because things haven't changed up in the part of the house where he lives. That's pretty deep for a kid his age, but you don't have to be very old to know better than to call your mom a killer.

    Which relatives have a problem with it? You think Ron's around to care? He even ends up with Sam's cookies.

    Who's an unlikely ally? I suppose it's possible that Carol may have mentioned to Jessie at some point just how far Sam is willing to go for cookies.

    Spoiler: I don't know how this is going to play out, but I do know that if someone in your family recently shredded a human being with a pair of scissors, you do what the fuck she says.

  • Wrap It Up

    Just when we were beginning to suspect this entire season was going to take place in one day, Deanna is toting goods back to the pantry at night.


    Suddenly she's set upon by a towering hulk of a walker! After a moment's hesitation, she goes after it by stabbing it in the chest with a broken bottle, which is one of the messiest and least efficient zombie-killing methods that doesn't involve a cheese grater.


    Rick rushes in for the assist, explaining to the audience that the undead Wolf must have been the one that Carol shot but couldn't find the body of. Seems the latter part would be rather a priority these days. Anyway, the blood-soaked and shell-shocked Deanna tells Rick that she wants the community to survive, and that it needs Rick to lead it. He doesn't argue the point.


    Maggie and Aaron leave their post on the wall to go scrub the names of Glenn and Nicholas off the memorial wall, because of how they're totes coming back. Aaron suggests that Glenn and Maggie name their kid after him, which seems a little bold. Girlfriend has two dead sisters and a dead dad to pick from first.


    Spencer shows up to relieve Rosita from guard duty, having volunteered to take Carol's place. She gives him props for stopping the Wolfmobile and tells him to keep doing what he's doing. Which, after she leaves, consists of munching on stolen crackers.


    Rick pays Jessie a visit and admits that he was hoping the others would be back by now to get rid of the herd outside the walls. Jessie isn't ready to give up on that, and asks Rick to tell her there's something more than this life. Instead of obliging, Rick does something else with his mouth.


    Not having had enough zombie-bashing for one night, Deanna walks up to the gate and slaps at the chain-link. The slavering beasts on the other side do not seem intimidated.


    And on her way back, she passes what looks like blood dripping down the inside of the wall. Could it be leaking in from outside? Oh, no, the zombies are already getting in, one drop at a time!

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