This article has some content you might find disturbing!Reason Gory zombie-ness!
The Governor Gonna Governor
His reinvention as 'Brian' doesn't last long as The Governor shows his true colors, all of them variations on pitch-black.
The Governor killed a bunch of his own citizens, got abandoned, went scruffy, and changed his name to Brian in an effort to leave behind his past — a gambit that worked so well he gained a new family, including a little girl similar to the one he lost. They hit the road and get attacked by biters in a trench where they have to fight for their lives. That's where The Governor's old lackey Martinez finds them.
Is Everything He's Washing Covered In Blood?
Alert Type: Overly Ominous Laundry Alert.
Issue: Last week's cliffhanger (will Martinez let The Governor and his new family live?) must be tied together with a seemingly mundane conversation between The Governor and his new daughter figure Meghan. So we jump back and forth between the two scenes for this week's cold open.
Mitigating Circumstances: Meghan is playing chess, so The Governor must be planning his next creepy move. He also mentions how his father used to beat him at everything. As in "beat him," literally.
Resolution: Martinez, dooming himself, goes along with The Governor's "I am a Brian" story and allows him and his new family to join the camp as long as they pull their weight.
Spoiler: When Meghan asks if she's a bad person, The Governor assures her that she's good, but when she asks if they'll be all right because they're all good, he clams up. Because he's bad, you guys! Look at him glowering over that clothesline. And, guess what. He's got a tank! EEEEVIL!
He's A Hothead Who's About To Meet King Hothead
It won't help Mitch much later that he's completely right about not wanting The Governor and his people to join their camp. Just because he calls Tara a "bitch" later and is incredibly unlikable and shitty to everyone doesn't mean he didn't have a point. Unfortunately, by the time his brother, Pete, becomes temporary leader of the camp and makes a series of decisions The Governor doesn't like, it will be too late to do much but follow the new boss.
Name: Mitch. Age: Mid 30s. Occupation: Former driver of an ice cream truck, and of a U.S. Army tank. Now throws his weight around a survivor's camp. Goal: To bully and serve. Sample Dialog: "You'd better watch your ass, one-eyed Bri."
Place Of Interest
What We Have Now Instead of Post-Its
In the woods on the way to a survivalist's home, two headless bodies are tied up with notes attached: "Liar" and "Rapist." At the cabin, the survivalist apparently committed suicide, labeling himself "Murderer" (but not "Litterer" for leaving all that mess behind in the outdoors). The Governor, who is searching the home along with Martinez, Mitch, and Pete, finds a photo next to the man's body. In it, he's posing with a woman and young girl.
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Cabin Biters And Some Severed Heads vs. The Governor's New Camp Associates
As they're searching the survivalist's home in search of supplies, The Governor and his new frenemies discover the missing pieces to that story: the undead wife (apparently) of the guy who shot himself, two (still moving) heads belonging to the bodies outside, and a small, fierce biter. The governor takes out the woman and the small one, which turns out to be a little girl, reminding him of his own zombified Penny. This is just not The Governor's week for avoiding his past! Side note: with all these shambling creatures in the cabin, how is nothing knocked over or destroyed? I guess they're the most tidy undead you've ever seen.
Winner: Not The Governor's soul, that's for sure!
Martinez Calls A Meeting Of Bros Who'll Drink Old, Warm Beer
Who called the meeting? Martinez.
What's it about? Killing a family of biters means it's Miller Time! Or whatever old, warm, pissy beer is available among the cabin's supplies. Probably not Miller.
How'd it go? Bondingly! The bros drink beer and enjoy the warmth of the fireplace instead of rushing back to camp. Before Mitch and Pete join them, Martinez lets The Governor know that he wouldn't have allowed him into the camp if not for his new family. He wants to believe that The Governor has changed, and The Governor says he has. After that, it's exchanging life stories. Mitch and Pete were both Army guys, but Mitch had the good sense to steal a tank and go rogue while Pete stayed at Fort Benning. The Governor only shares, "I survived." Put it on a t-shirt, why don't you?
A Hole In One (Skull)!
What's the game? Murdergolf.
Who's playing? Martinez, who thought he would surprise The Governor with a round of hitting golf balls from the top of an RV. Just like old times! But The Governor has his own rules for this game.
What's at stake? Not much, until a fairly drunk Martinez reveals that Shumpert was careless and got killed by a biter recently. He suggests that The Governor help share the leadership crown. Then the stakes turn deadly.
Who wins? The suddenly crazed Governor, who keeps saying, "I don't want it!," whacks Martinez in the back of the head with a golf club...
...pushes him over the side...
...then drags him to a pit of biters to be eaten up handily where nobody from the camp even hears it.
We Made A List
Systems Of Government That Would Work Better Than Pete's "I Volunteer To Be In Charge Temporarily" Proposal
- Democratic Republic
- Republic of Democrats
- Tea Party Consisting Of Actual Party To Drink Tea
- Rule Of Thumb Wars
- Festive Monarchy
- Three Strikes You're Out
- Two Strikes But You Owe Us One
- Crack-Fueled Mayorship
- Bicameral Camel Toe
- Driest Aridstocracy
- Monkey Court
- Puppet State
- Banana Republic
- Gap Khakis Government
- Plutocracy (despite Pluto no longer being a planet)
- Balls-Out Anarchy
A Wizard Did It
No Sound Travels Here
The Governor, Mitch, and Pete decide not to attack a camp of friendly-looking people with the goal of stealing their supplies. Only minutes later, they come back to find that the camp has been ransacked and nearly everybody there has been killed. Even if the murderers, who appear to have been living people, didn't use guns, wouldn't The Governor and his companions have at least heard some screaming and commotion? Are they in some Under The Dome scenario here where sound doesn't travel? And why didn't anyone hear Martinez screaming earlier at the camp when he was getting bitten up? The Governor, it appears, is made of noise-canceling technology. And while we're parked here, why do none of these wandering groups ever run into the prison? It's apparently just a short drive away. Just follow all the walkers!
The Governor thinks things are about to go very wrong at camp with a killer group out on the loose, so he makes his new family pack up their stuff and leave in the dead of night. Only one problem on the road to elsewhere: quicksand biters! Damn you, quicksand biters! Even The Governor is like, "Can you believe this shit?"
Love, Hate & Everything In Between
At Least Someone's Not Getting Killed Or Betrayed In This Episode
After a quick early scene of flirtatious talk about guns (one carries an M4, the other prefers Smith & Wesson), it doesn't take long for Lilly's sister Tara and a former Army Reservist from the new camp, Alisha, to get together. Alisha even goes along on the botched car escape that leads to the quicksand with a group of people she just met. Since that didn't work out, they end up snuggling together in bed the next morning, next to Lilly.
R.I.P. Pete The Good 1980 (est.) - present
The nicer of the two Dolgen brothers, Pete was not so much a born leader as a guy too good for this horrible new world. His fatal mistake was not attacking a camp full of seemingly innocent survivors before another marauding group could do it. When The Governor saw it as a threat to his new family's well-being, he took matters into his own hands, literally stabbing Pete in the back and then choking him to death in Pete's own trailer. Then The Governor dumped the body in a dead pond without even stabbing his brain first. Among Pete's last words: "I knew this was coming." No, Pete. You really, really didn't.
"I Killed Your Brother / Let's Team Up!"
Who called the meeting? The Governor.
What's it about? The Governor wants to let Mitch know, at gunpoint, that his brother Pete is dead and that there's a new leader.
How'd it go? Surprisingly well since Mitch is already feeling guilty about an old man he knifed in the head at the looted camp. He thinks that incident (it wasn't clear if the old man would have lived or not) has something to do with this, but The Governor, offering a cigarette, explains that Mitch was right in wanting to attack the other camp for its supplies. The Governor needs some ruthless badasses on his side. He also reveals that he had a brother who used to stick up for him when their father used to beat on them for things like stealing smokes. Heroes like that, The Governor explains, just get taken down. To their camp, they'll say Pete died on a supply run, no big deal. It's far-fetched that Mitch would join up with The Governor, the guy who just killed his brother, but somehow it works. Maybe it was the cigarette.
Tag! You're Dead (Almost)
What's the game? Tag.
Who's playing? Meghan and her aunt Tara.
What's at stake? Very little until Meghan moves a sheet on a laundry line and encounters a biter. She's nearly bitten as she gets chased and scrambles under an RV.
Can't Tara help? She tries, but she left her gun back with Alisha, and when she tries to pull off the biter, she gets a bunch of loose leg skin.
Who else is playing? The Governor, meanwhile, is inside cleaning the gunk out from under his eyepatch. That's a weird kind of turn-on for Lilly, who looks like she wants to get it on. They hear the commotion and head outside, where The Governor puts a bullet into the biter just in time to save Meghan.
Who wins? Surprisingly, Tara. She never got tagged back by Meghan!
So that's what happens when you dump a weighed-down dead body in a pond where it can't get out once it turns biter. It looks like The Governor wants his own personal giant-sized dead fish tank.
Wrap It Up
The Governor immediately drives a loud-ass truck to the prison to do some spying.
The Governor: "Rick and his boy are farmers now? When the shit did that happen? I feel like Rip Van Fucking Winkle! Ridiculous!"
"Oh, hey, it's that Michonne lady who took my eye and killed my biter daughter. I should say hello. Or shoot her. Probably shoot her."
"I sure hope this whole having-one-eye thing doesn't affect my aim. Guess we'll find out next week!"