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This article has some content you might find disturbing!

Reason Gross zombie snacking.

AMC

Everybody Goes Stupid And Off-Campus On The Walking Dead

Safety in numbers? Seek shelter? Nah, this is characters acting with no regard for anybody's welfare. Enjoy!

  • Alert!
    2016-03-28-twd-02

    A Long Way To Go For A Tiny Hit Of Dopamine

    Alert Type: Cold Open Jump-Ahead Alert.

    Issue: In a very short cold open, we see a montage of images and hear sounds that we know are going to come into play later in the episode including a bullet hole in a windshield, blood dripping onto a road, a bloody spike and the sound of Carol negotiating with what sounds like some bad dudes. It ends with a grunt and a gunshot.

    Complicating Factors: We already know that Carol took off from Alexandria, so it's not hard to imagine this is what happens to her on the road.

    Resolution: Just stick around for 20 more minutes.

    Spoiler: The scene plays out in exactly as it sounds with very few surprises. So this tiny taste of an opener feels like a waste.

  • We Made A List
    2016-03-28-twd-03

    Things Carol Is Packing For Her No-Destination Trip

    • Dried fruits and veggies, snack bars, and rice
    • Matches and fuel
    • Not Tobin
    • Some jacket sleeve contraption she's sewing together
    • A knife
    • A rosary
    • A knife
    • Clothes
    • Large backpack
    • Tape
    • An extremely guilty conscience, all of a sudden
    • A newfound habit of hyperventilating near danger
  • That'll Do
    2016-03-28-twd-04

    Enough With The Musical Montages

    Who doesn't like a good bit of music in an episode of TV that enhances the mood and comments on what's happening? But what about when it's out of nowhere, way too on the nose, and really just a way to throw a bunch of images together that don't really tie together thematically? Like Johnny Cash's "It's All Over," which plays over scenes of Carol leaving a sleeping Tobin, Carl examining a gun with an ominous imprint on it in the armory, Glenn and Maggie showering together, Daryl fretting about the death of Denise, and Sasha and Abraham having a moment while Rosita looks on, disapprovingly. I mean, if you want to just string a lot of shit together, that's fine, but don't drag poor dead Johnny Cash into it.

  • Symbolism
    2016-03-28-twd-05

    How Do You Like That Apple?

    The Scene: Michonne and a very horny Rick are in bed together in the morning. Michonne reaches for an apple on the nightstand, takes a bite, and gives some to Rick.

    The Symbol: The apple, not to get all Biblical about it.

    The Meaning: Rick and Michonne have convinced themselves that the world is theirs for the taking and that they won't ever lose it again. That sounds a lot like a certain couple who also ate an apple and were unaware of just how bad things might get very quickly.

  • Bad Habits
    2016-03-28-twd-06

    You're Not An Outdoor Cat, Daryl, Stay The Fuck Inside

    One of Daryl's more irritating habits is his inability to be boxed in to any kind of social behavior, which is understandable and a little charming when it comes to not wanting to go to dinner parties, but is stupid and dangerous when it means leaving Alexandria on a motorcycle alone on some stupid mission of vengeance. Not because Daryl can't handle himself; he most certainly can most of the time. But because he knows it's going to cause a panic and probably a party of people to go after him (in this case, Michonne, Glenn, and Rosita), putting them in danger for no good reason other than a plot mechanism to get characters out of the relative safety of Alexandria. It's dumb, and not even just Daryl-dumb, but overall-show-dumb.

  • Here's An Idea
    2016-03-28-twd-07

    Stop Leaving Alexandria, Everybody!

    The second prong of this week's stupidity pitchfork is Rick springing into action when he finds out about Carol's note to Tobin asking for the group not to send anyone after her. Rick ignores that, of course, and with plans to go after her himself and because he just happens to be hanging around, Morgan decides to go save her. "No one else leaves!" Rick bellows, after half the cast has already committed to leaving the town.

  • Hell Yeah!
    2016-03-28-twd-08

    Hey, It's The Easter Bunny Of The Apocalypse!

    This episode aired on Easter, and I'm just going to assume this car is decorated this way not only to keep away walkers, but to pay homage to The Easter Bunny with those cute whisker-looking accoutrements. Nicely played, show!

  • A Wizard Did It
    2016-03-28-twd-09

    Literal Hand Cannon

    Carol is stopped on the road when a truck going in the opposite direction fires on her. She engages with the group of men, most likely Saviors led by a guy named Jiro, whimpering and asking them to leave, which is absolutely not going to happen. When they push her, a woman on the road with one hand in her jacket sleeve, she tearfully unloads on them, firing the gun she had sewn into her clothing. Somehow the gun doesn't jam, the sleeve doesn't catch fire, and Carol kills nearly all of them in one go. Nice shooting, Montclair! The next death Carol is responsible for, impaling a guy with a car spike, makes a lot more logical sense.

    2016-03-28-twd-10
  • Dialogue

    That Which Pulls You Down Does Not Uplift You

    As they ride together searching for Carol, Rick and Morgan continue debating the ethics of killing in a world that is about not much else but that.

    What I believe... I'm not right. There is no right. It's just the wrong that doesn't pull you down.
    It hasn't pulled me down.
    I think it will. 'Cause I know you.
  • That Quote
    "I'm proud of her. She took four of 'em down. That woman, she's a force of nature."
    - Rick finds bloody evidence of Carol's activities -
  • That Happened
    2016-03-28-twd-elbowmeal

    Elbows, Off The Table

    The gunfight that took place with Dwight's men is still paying dividends for lucky nearby undead, who now get to dine on a brand-new feast. That's good undead-eatin'!

  • Place Of Interest
    2016-03-28-twd-11

    This Field: Getting More Action Than Maggie And Glenn In A Shower

    If this field looks familiar, that's because it looks just like the one Rick and Morgan walked into and that the surviving Savior followed them into, just from a different angle. Hey, every dollar saved on location scouting means more zombie makeup in the finale!

  • Meeting Time
    2016-03-28-twd-12

    Intervention: Daryl Dixon

    Who called the meeting? Glenn, Michonne, and Rosita.

    What's it about? The three have caught up with Daryl, who is on the warpath, trying to track down Dwight and kill him for the death of Denise.

    How'd it go? Glenn makes a good case that since Denise is dead, Daryl is really just doing this for himself and that they should all get home and take care of Alexandria. Michonne promises to personally help take care of this later. But Daryl doesn't give a shit and can't give it up since he feels not killing Dwight in the first place was what set this chain of events into motion. Rosita, abandoning all reason whatsoever, goes with Daryl. So, that intervention actually lost a member instead of gaining one convert. Good one, guys! And as if things couldn't get worse, Dwight shows up with his men to take Michonne and Glenn prisoner. Worst intervention in show history!

    2016-03-28-twd-13
  • Fight! Fight! Fight!
    2016-03-28-twd-14

    Morgan And Rick vs. Farm Walkers

    In their search for Carol, Rick and Morgan show up at a farm with some fresh kills. There's also a guy holed up who's looking for his horse and who says he hasn't seen Carol. The guy takes off as a group of walkers approaches and when Rick tries to fire at the guy running away, Morgan bumps him, making the shot miss. Then they fight the walkers, which goes as per usual with Rick helping Morgan avoid a bite to the face.

    Winner: Rick and Morgan.

  • Wrap It Up
    2016-03-28-twd-15

    After the barn fight, Morgan tells the long tale of the Wolf he was holding and how the guy, at the last moment, saved Denise's life, proving that people can change, or some shit. Morgan tells Rick to go on back; he's going to find Carol himself or perhaps die trying. Morgan does accept a gun from Rick, at least. And learns from Rick that Michonne did steal his protein bar (a fact Morgan already claims to know).

    2016-03-28-twd-16

    Rick makes it back to Alexandria, where he learns that Michonne's group is still out. He and Abraham wait at the gate. And wait. And wait, both afraid of their new feelings of love.

    2016-03-28-twd-17

    Enid comes over to visit with Maggie and ends up giving her a pretty short haircut. But something goes wrong as Maggie doubles over in pain. Pregnancy danger!

    2016-03-28-twd-18

    Glenn and Michonne are being held in the woods and it sucks.

    2016-03-28-twd-19

    Daryl and Rosita show up to save them, but because Dwight is some sort of teleporting-douchebag ninja, he gets the drop on them.

    2016-03-28-twd-20

    And apparently shoots Daryl. But lest you get too worried, the last thing we hear is Dwight saying, "You'll be all right." I guess?

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