This article has some content you might find disturbing!Reason Extreme zombie head-butting and horse-killing.
Rick's gang is already restless, wary, and even horny in paradise.
Rick and Co. auditioned successfully for membership in the exclusive gated community of Alexandria. They gave up their guns and their grimy clothes and their disgusting beards (well, Rick at least), but hey, if things go wrong, they can just take the place by force because these people are basically pampered veal.
A Librarian, But For Guns And Chocolate
Name: Olivia. Age: Early 30s. Occupation: Mistress of storage. Formerly a barista. Goal: To chill out and be cool to all the people who need to check out guns or squares of chocolate for baking because who knows, everything might come back to the way it was back when she used to make prosciutto in her basement and when her cell phone would ring all the time. Did y'all know Olivia still carries her cell phone around? She totally does! Sample Dialogue: "I made some kick-ass pickles, too."
This Is What I Think Of JCPenney Portrait Studio
Sasha is living in a house where they forgot to take out all the framed photos of happy families. Oops. She's still so traumatized by the death of her brother Tyreese and by her own descent into brutality on the road that there's really only one thing to do with these happy memories from another time. Shoot those things!
Maybe now she'll get some sleep. On the other hand, she did just yell "Come and get me" outside the Alexandria wall while all by herself, so maybe damaging some photos is not what's going to cure all her ills.
We're Guns To Need Some Guns. Because Guns.
Who called the meeting? Rick.
What's it about? Rick, Carol, and Daryl are meeting to figure out a strategy for taking some guns on the sly to keep on their own, away from the armory, in case things go bad.
How'd it go? Planningly! Carol reports that the handguns are not really being kept track of and she thinks she can get in and unlock a window sometime, allowing them access to those sweet, sweet firearms. Rick thinks they should do it now, before they're being watched too closely as a group (which makes no sense; wouldn't they be more watched as newcomers than later on when people let their guard down?). Nevertheless, the plan will move forward.
"W" Is For "WTF?"
The Scene: After their meeting is adjourned, Daryl notices an expired walker on the ground with something carved into its head.
The Symbol: The walker has a "W" carved into its forehead. For "Walker"?
The Meaning: Dude, but what if it's not a "W" at all, but an upside-down "M" carved into it by someone who likes to do that to zombies on the ground? Someone named…"Morgan"?
Get The Look: Samurai Constable
Michonne may have some doubts about giving up her trusty leather vest for a jacket of the law, but you don't have to! Want to be the baddest constable this sleepy little town's ever seen? Check it: you'll need…
A Law-Enforcement Windbreaker: Because it gets windy at night. And lawless, probably. Too large for your slender frame? Cinch it up with shoelaces in the back!
Tie: Gotta have a tie. That's how they know you mean business.
Untucked shirt: That's how they know you're not afraid to make a mess and throw down.
Sword: Optional. In fact, you probably won't be needing that.
There ya go.
It's Not Gay But It Would Be Totally Cool If It Were
Alert Type: Daryl Expression Alert.
Issue: While hunting, Daryl gets sneaked up on by Aaron, who is also out looking for game. Aaron wants to hunt with Daryl.
Complicating Factors: Daryl is a loner, but he seems to respect Aaron's outdoor skills enough to let him come along. He also seems impressed by Aaron's question of whether he can tell a human from a walker just by sound. Oh, and there's some seriously thick sexual tension here. I mean, maybe, who knows with Daryl.
Spoiler: Aaron has designs on Daryl, but they're not of a sexual nature.
Less Pie In the Sky, More Pie In Our Bellies, I Say!
Who called the meeting? Deanna.
What's it about? Deanna is explaining her vision for future government and commerce in Alexandria. She wants Maggie to help while Rick and Michonne keep order.
How'd it go? Maggie seems completely sold on Deanna's idea for restoring civilization, Michonne somewhere in the middle and Rick completely skeptical, though when asked directly, he plays along that Deanna's got good ideas and can make it work. But Rick does worry about how secure the walls are when anybody can just climb on over and, you know, people are the real threat or haven't you been watching this show for five seasons? He wants Deanna to post a sentry in the security tower (which has thus far been empty, more decorative than anything else).
Here's An Idea
Don't Post As Your Sentry The Person Who Wants To Take As Many Shifts As Possible
You know that feeling you get when someone you work with who is clearly terrible at a task keeps volunteering to do it and there's not an easy way to tell them no? Sasha interrupts the security meeting to volunteer for as many shifts in the sentry tower as possible. Why would anyone want to do that? Because clearly they are cracking up and want to be shooting at stuff. Red flag? Try red blanket the size of Minnesota. Maggie says Sasha's a great shot and should do it. Deanna agrees, but only if Sasha comes to a party she's throwing for the newcomers that night. Did somebody say party?!
That Quote"You know what's great about this place? I get to be invisible again."- Carol -
Mutual of PTV's Animal Kingdom
His Name Is Buttons. Shut Up, I Didn't Name Him
Aaron and Daryl come across a beautiful black horse, one that Aaron says he's been trying to catch for quite some time. This isn't Daryl's first rodeo. He sweatily eases up toward the horse, but is interrupted by a group of dirty, stinking, horse-eating asshole walkers.
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Daryl And Aaron vs. Horse-Scaring Asshole Walkers
The horse, Buttons, takes off when the walkers approach, so Aaron and Daryl take them out quickly. This scene is most notable for the completely disgusting way a walker loses most of a cheek just rubbing up on a wayward tree branch.
Winner: Aaron and Daryl, though they are still horseless.
Plot Lightning Round
Party Talk And Chocolate Subterfuge
By sharing the secret that you can make cookies by subbing in applesauce for eggs, Carol makes a new friend in sweet, trusting Olivia. You're gonna regret it!
Olivia allows Carol to grab some chocolate for her cookies and then hang around the gun room where some dude named Tobin offers to teach Carol (who's playing up her innocence) how to figure out those big, scary guns.
Little does he know that Carol just unlatched the window to steal some guns later. Ha ha, sucker!
Meanwhile, Daryl and Aaron are out in the woods talking about the party that night. Aaron is like, "Are you going?" Daryl's like, "No, that's for losers," and Aaron is like, "You should totally go, these people are pretty nice when they're not being totally homophobic," and Daryl's like, "Well…is there gonna be food?" and Aaron is like, "You're totally going! Daryl's a party person!" and Daryl's like, "Shut up, I didn't say that!" and Aaron is like, "We're gonna be best friends," and Daryl's like, "[mumble mumble] Okay, fine, whatever." It's really sweet.
They Have Beer And That Is What Matters
What's the occasion? Deanna is welcoming the newcomers with booze and other treats in her home. Our heroes have cleaned up, but will they fit in?
What are the refreshments? Beer, wine, cookies, and lots of conversation!
Whose embarrassing public scene will everyone be talking about tomorrow? Probably a tie between Abraham's drunken ass and Sasha's sure-to-be-legendary grief-fueled aggression.
Just A Reg-ular Guy
Name: Reg Monroe. Age: Mid-50s. Occupation: Architect, husband to Deanna. Goal: To praise Rick and to be humble about keeping all these people safe with his engineered wall skills. And to get Rick to relax and have a drink, which maybe is not such a great idea after all. Sample Dialogue: "It's a damn incredible achievement. But…it's a wall."
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Daryl And Aaron vs. Asshole Horse-Harassing Walkers (Round 2)
Daryl and Aaron catch up to Buttons the horse, only to find it penned in with a group of walkers. This should be easy, except it isn't. Aaron gets dropped by a zombie grab to the ankle, and while Daryl is helping take care of that by stomping one walker and throwing another so both heads are crunched together, another swarm brings down poor Buttons. Buuuuutttoooooonnnnss nooooo!
Aww, man. Brutal, guys. RIP Buttons.
Winner: Not the horse, that's for damn sure.
Here's An Idea
Put The Living Horse Out Of Its Misery Before The Undead
I'm no country veterinarian, but even I know that you put the living, breathing animal out of its misery before the unfeeling, undead creatures that are feasting on it even as you stand there hesitating. Show some mercy, you dumb humans.
Member Of Future Cuckolds Of America
The menacing guy Rick talked to a few nights before turns out to be Jessie's perfectly amiable husband, Pete, who is also a doctor (which he fails to mention until after offering to examine Rick). Once he leaves, Rick has some nice moments with Jessie where he gets to see his people looking nice and not in totally scary danger for once. Rick begins to loosen up and starts to see things Jessie's way: they lost a lot, but they also lost some of the bullshit along with it.
A For Assimilation
The Scene: At the party, Jessie's son Sam offers Rick a gift.
The Symbol: A red stamp "A" on Rick's hand for "Alexandria."
The Meaning: "Now you're officially one of us," says Jessie.
Daryl Finally Fits In
Daryl eschews the party, watching it from outside like the world's most forlorn Peeping Tom. On his way home, he's stopped by Aaron, who's also skipping the party to nurse Eric, who's still hurt. Daryl, with a glower, accepts an offer of dinner and soon he's slurping spaghetti and fielding requests to find a pasta-maker for Mrs. Niedermeier, some naggy lady everybody's complaining about.
But the real reason for the dinner is revealed when Aaron shows Daryl a motorcycle workshop he's been assembling and never got around to learning how to actually use. What a coincidence that a motorcycle rider, a rough-and-tumble one at that, should come into their lives! Aaron then says he asked Deanna not to give Daryl a job because he wants Eric to stay home and Daryl to be his new recruiting buddy, out in the world where he's great at surviving. Daryl, who seems genuinely touched that anyone is so concerned with making him useful, says he's got nothing better to do. "I'll get you some rabbits," he says, which is as close as Daryl may ever get to saying, "I feel appreciated and loved."
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Rick The Dick, Or, A Poor Time To Rediscover Your Libido
Situation: Jessie is handing baby Judith back over to Rick and Rick leans in for a kiss.
What makes it awkward? For one thing, she is married and her husband is in the next room. For another, Rick is still practically a stranger. And also, he's holding a baby. And furthermore, he hasn't had sex in like a thousand years.
How is order restored? Jessie just smiles and walks away instead of slapping Rick or saying, "No thank you!" Which in TV language means she's probably interested.
Fine, Then Don't Take The Meal
Situation: Sasha, in the middle of a social anxiety panic attack, is asked what her favorite meal is so a nice lady can cook it for her. Sasha responds by screaming, "That's what you worry about?!"
What makes it awkward? Yelling at nice people at a party is frowned upon.
How is order restored? Sasha snaps out of her state enough to see that she's embarrassed herself.
Wrap It Up
Sasha is defiant the next day, even after making a scene at Deanna's house. She tells Deanna, "This…it isn't real."
Deanna is sympathetic about all that Sasha's been through, but "What you just said? It's bullshit."
Having both had memorable evenings, Rick and Daryl are not hesitant to take the guns that Carol so carefully stole for them. Carol is like, "These pussies!" Rick does take a pistol, but Daryl will stick with the crossbow for now.
Rick sees Jessie and Pete walking by and she flashes the "A" stamp.
Rick does the same, but doesn't take it well when she keeps right on walking, oblivious to Rick's raging boner.
But he's got a gun, see? And Rick usually gets what he wants, unless it's happiness.
Rick wanders over to the wall, where on the other side, a walker has probably been similarly rebuffed by a married lady walker.
"You and me, buddy," Rick seems to think as the jaunty song "Spicks and Specks" plays. "You and me, buddy."