This article has some content you might find disturbing!Reason The obligatory gore, undead, etc.
If These Under The Beds Could Talk
Rick hides out when his resting spot is overtaken, and Glenn is pretty determined to go find Maggie, even if it destroys the world.
Glenn woke up still in the prison and surrounded by walkers, Michonne showed up knocking at the door where Rick and Carl were holed up, Glenn got out with the help of riot gear and dishrag lady Tara, Glenn collapsed, and three refugees from an '80s music video showed up in a giant military transport vehicle.
Kicking ass, taking names, smiling all the while
At the end of the last episode, we got our first look at Sgt. Abraham Ford, who is only a pair of aviators and a hat away from being Sgt. Slaughter from G.I. Joe. That's not to say he's unlikeable. In fact, he seems like a pretty cool guy and not some creepy psycho like The Governor (though it's too early to rule that out from happening). Ford has picked up Glenn and (sigh) Tara in a military vehicle and when they have to stop to clear the road, Ford proves more than able to smash the crap out of some walkers with a crowbar and the butt of a machine gun, saving bullets. An admiring Tara notes that he smiles while doing it. Oh, also: that mustache.
Name: Sgt. Abraham Ford. Age: Mid-40s. Occupation: Military bad-ass. Goal: To save the world. No, seriously. Sample Dialogue: "You find some strong, like-minded comrades and you stay stuck together like wet on water."
As Tara is driven on the military vehicle and writing directions on her hand with a Sharpie, she spots this poor bastard stuck between two crashed trucks. Forever, probably.
That Quote"Do you have something to say about my extremely comfortable and attractive shirt?"- Michonne, finally cracking some jokes -
On The Menu
What's On The Menu At Rick, Carl, And Michonne's Hideout House?
It's a beautifully appointed house, but the cupboards aren't exactly bursting with food supplies. What's left to eat?
Dry cereal: And not much left. Michonne takes the last of it.
Water bottles: Don't like dry cereal? How about watery cereal?
Laughs and then tears: Michonne and Carl have a moment joking about soy milk before Carl makes a remark about how he'd rather drink baby Judith's formula and then he remembers he's grieving over her (supposed) death and then he almost cries and excuses himself to read a book. This was the worst breakfast ever, or at least the worst one that wasn't interrupted by someone getting killed.
Here's An Idea
Change Your Goddamn Shirt Already, Rick
You're in a nice house with plenty of clothing. Michonne and Carl have cleaned up nicely. Why do you still look like a drowned rat wrapped in mummified Civil War-era rags with ventilation slits on the side? (Sidebar: why does this post-apocalyptic kitchen look so much nicer than mine?)
Situation: After raiding a house of food, Carl and Michonne are walking along and Michonne tries to cheer Carl up, but he says he's just tired. So Michonne uses the "Crazy Cheez" to turn herself into a hilarious walker.
What makes it awkward? Since he thinks his baby sister was just eaten by walkers, Carl's not finding them particularly funny right now.
Who's feeling awkward about it? Carl and Michonne, but mostly Michonne, who has to swallow the awkward Crazy Cheez.
How is order restored? Michonne explains that she used to be hilarious to her three-year-old, Andre Anthony, opening the door for Carl to ask some personal questions about her past and for the two of them to bond over stuff Michonne hasn't told anyone else.
20 Questions With Chores
What's the game? Ask About Michonne's Past.
Who's playing? Carl.
What's at stake? Michonne will answer one question about her past for every room that Carl clears in a house they're trying to loot.
Who wins? Carl, because he gets information and, if he's lucky, a giant can of chocolate pudding should they find any.
What's the occasion? Some random thugs are searching houses. Unfortunately, Rick is in the house they're searching.
What are the refreshments? A bottle of water Rick left out and quickly retrieves as he's hiding under the bed and trying not to be found.
Whose embarrassing public scene will everyone be talking about tomorrow? That time when two of the thugs got into a fight over who gets to nap in a bed and one killed the other. It was so crazy!
Resting On One's Laurels, Unarmed
Of all the bad habits you'd think Rick would have, sleeping with his gun would have to be at least in the top three, right? You would be wrong! Rick takes a recuperating nap with a paperback book of Jack London short stories and keeps a watch and a water bottle nearby, but no gun! When dudes show up, Rick has to hide under the bed (at least he finally put on a new shirt) and cower instead of shooting his way out of a bad situation. For future reference, Rick, not having a gun nearby at all times is a bad habit, too.
But Is It Art?
As they're searching through a very nice house, Carl finds a wrapped, framed painting. Michonne opens it and finds this monstrosity. The art itself is not so surprising, but why was it wrapped up as if it just came from the framing store? Was it pre-apocalypse? All the rest of the paintings in the house are cheery. Maybe someone in the house painted it after the shit went down and then found the world's last Deck The Walls? Michonne goes to the door where the painting was propped up and investigates.
These Houses Are Gorgeous, Except...
The Symbol: Two children's rooms in the house Michonne is searching.
The Scene: Michonne first finds a lovely boy's room that seems to make her reflective about her own lost son. Then she goes into the next room and finds an entire family that appears to have put itself down when things went bad.
The Meaning: Michonne's eyes fill with tears at the sad scene. She must be wondering if they made the right choice or if living as she and the others have is any better. She definitely doesn't want to share this with Carl; she tells him it was a dog inside.
We Made A List
Places You Can Get Killed In A House If You Are Arguing With A Murderer
- In a bedroom, after arguing over a bed while a guy under it watches
- In the kitchen, fighting over which knife is sharpest
- In a pantry, fighting over which rat poison is the most poisonous
- In the backyard, fighting over which lawn dart can be thrown the highest
- Next to the fireplace, fighting over the fire's exact temperature
- In the bathroom, fighting over who can hold the other one down in the bathtub longest
- In a closet, fighting over who's better at auto-erotic asphyxiation
At Least Birds Survived The Zombie Apocalypse
The Symbol: The finger.
The Scene: Glenn just woke up and found out he's three hours away from where Maggie might be. He starts banging on the window. Sgt. Ford sends him a personal message.
The Meaning: Where I come from, it usually means, "Fuck you."
Get The Look: Walker-Fighting Fly Girl
Whether you're about to dance to Destiny Child's "Survivor" or kill some of the undead, you should never be boring. Why not dress like you're auditioning for the strip-show version of China Beach, soon to open at a disreputable Vegas casino? What you'll need:
Short shorts and a crop top: We imagine this is some kind of exposed-skin zombie bait that lures in walkers who are then dispatched somehow. Clever!
Fingerless gloves: Because you might be doing some breakdancing!
Big hoop earrings: Walkers almost never grab these. Worth the effort!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Glenn vs. Sgt. Ford
Sgt. Ford tries to convince Glenn that his wife his dead and that he'll only die if he goes off looking for her alone. It's not quite the inspirational speech that was intended because instead of agreeing to do something with his life, Glenn spins around and punches him in the mouth. The fight escalates quickly and Glenn is getting his ass handed to him when these guys show up.
Dr. Eugene grabs a gun and starts firing, but has no idea what he's doing and shoots the truck up as he does so. Abraham comes over and starts firing.
Then everybody else, including Glenn, joins in.
Once the zombie threat is over, things seem fine...oh, except that the truck is leaking fuel. Thanks, Eugene!
Winner: The walkers, due to human incompetence.
Plot Lightning Round
Rick Grimes In Tyler Perry's How Do I Get Out Of This House?
Rick waits long enough for the guy on the bed atop him to fall asleep and sneaks out from under there. But he's in a place with a bunch of armed guys walking around (sound familiar, Bruce Willis fans?), so he can't just walk out without a bunch of close calls. Like Carl, he finds out that windows in Georgia never open when you want them to.
Oh, and then there's this guy in the bathroom. Sorry, buddy.
It leads to the loudest bathroom fight that nobody outside seems to hear, and Rick strangling the guy.
Rick manages to get out through the bathroom window and carefully jump downstairs from the second level.
He goes around the house, but there's a dude on the porch eating something. Go away, dude!
Rick sees Michonne and Carl approaching. He gears up to kill the guy on the porch.
Just as Rick is about to take the guy out, the dead people who were killed inside the house sound as if they just reanimated. Chaos reigns and the guy on the porch runs inside. Rick joins Michonne and Carl and they run off together, leaving that awesome house behind.
A Man With A Plan. And A Mullet
We don't know a lot about Eugene Porter but we know he's important, at least according to Sgt. Abraham Porter. He says Eugene knows what caused the walker outbreak and how to fix it. So they're trying to get him to Washington if he can stop shooting up the damn truck for a minute and Glenn can stop ruining everything with his love for Maggie, which quite literally could mean the end of mankind, if Sgt. Ford is to be believed.
Name: Dr. Eugene Porter. Age: Mid-30s. Occupation: Scientist. Goal: To say that he can save the world. Because he knows stuff. Sample Dialogue: "Trust me. I'm smarter than you."
Wrap It Up
Rick, Michonne, and Carl, off on their own without a home again, come across a sign similar to the one the survivors saw last week. Rick says, "Let's go," presumably to cross paths with everybody else who's heading the same way. So they go.