Screen: MTV

'You're Disgusting. Congratulations!'

And Nicole isn't even talking about this laundry-room foolishness. Welcome to Fight Night.

I considered using Sylvia's telling "I'm so fucked up, why would you want to care about me?" as my headline, but I didn't want to pile on the kid. Well, any more than I'm fixing to, but she brings it on herself. First of all, I know the Madisons of the world can stand on your nads, but Jason's exactly right: if you're taking Violetta's side in any fight other than one that's your only hope of surviving a zombie horde, that shit ain't about that actual shit. It's about you wanting to jump into a fight so you don't have to think about your life.

Tony has a variation on the same problem, and he seems to recognize it, albeit dimly -- he says that after his dad's death, he couldn't stand being alone -- but he also seems to feel recognizing it is enough. Actually doing anything about it, like not grinding with Elizabeth when Alyssa and Madison are both in the house and he just coaxed a sobbing Madison back inside, or not snuggling with the local barflies when the house goes out to the club? He's not there yet. "I've learned not to mess with girls' emotions," he tells the camera at the end of the episode. Riiiiight. Easy to say after the exes go to O'Hare, and furthermore, Dawn Weiner's compulsory oral report on dignity was more genuine. (And not unrelated.)

Thanks to her slurry rampaging all over Madison, Violetta drops back through our RW PRs like a hot rock through a snowdrift...and the addition of her nemeses next week doesn't promise to improve her standing. Who ruled and who drooled?

"What the hell?" I'll list the housemates from best to worst each week. First place gets 7 points, second place 6, and so on. Whoever has the most points at the end of the season is probably the most awesome person in the RW: Skeletons house. No, Mr. Snuggledicks doesn't get his own slot. No, I don't think this is a terribly scientific system. Yes, I went to university "for this."

  1. Nicole
    She could be clearer in pointing out that Tony is technically not in a relationship with any of these three women and therefore it's their own respective lookouts not to invest their hopes in him, but at least she says it. Points also for muscling Madison out of the house, telling Sylvia in so many words that she's disappointed in her for interrupting a chat with Jason to charge into the next room and starting clawing at Madison, kindly telling Sylvia later that actually she can take her down and it's not mere puffery.
  2. Bruno
    It's probably not his place, but anyone who ranks on Sylvia for inserting herself into that kerfuffle gets a hat tip from me. He largely stays out of the mix this week and has some good advice for Tony re: dropping the exes, staying with Madison, and "stop bein' an idiot."
  3. Jason
    Captain Insights has another solid week, informing Sylvia, "You need to CHILL right now," and adding that her rage from the past is what's going on here, not a defense of Violetta really. I also enjoy that he's openly "highly entertained" by Tony's drama. But while I respect that he's going the real-date route with Sylvia, inviting her salsa-dancing instead of just waiting until everyone's drunk and slinking into her bed a la Tony, it's still a moose-knuckling pair of Bad Idea Jeans, and his letting Elizabeth bunk in his bed at the end of Fight Night is a supremely dumb call.
  4. Madison
    She shouldn't do that befriend-the-ex thing, because it's not playing well in the house, and that '80s wing-gel thing that's happening with her hair is not okay, but her chief failure this week is not telling Tony to fuck off, at least until everyone else he's ever boned leaves the house. But she stands up for herself with Violetta, at least. I have to wonder if there's shit we don't see that makes the housemates so much MORE frustrated with her, but I guess not being able to chill with some House Of Cards when you're over it might aggravate certain interpersonal situations.
  5. Tony
    Self-destructive twerp incapable of postponing gratification, but he got punished for it with nonstop screechy dramz this week, so I won't punish him too harshly in the rankings...but he's lucky a catfight broke out or he'd be styling in last again.
  6. Violetta
    Her stated objection to Madison teaming up with Alyssa to rag on Tony while he's showering? "She has no right to be involved in someone else's drama." OH, OKAY, MISS CHUCK GUESTS' BEDDING OVER THE RAILING. YOU'RE SO RIGHT. ...Not, you're a fucking hypocrite on about 18 axes, starting with involving yourself in the very drama you're yelling about right now. It's fine not to like Madison; just say that, then, and stay out of it. She shouldn't have yelled at Madison, she shouldn't have touched Madison (this contretemps would have gotten half the housemates ejected in seasons past), and when the producers make the housemates watch the video the next day, Violetta's so-called apology is all about herself and insincere. "The whole time I'm yelling at her, she starts to cry," she grumbles at one point, pre-screening. Because you're yelling at her? And you want her to cry?
  7. Sylvia
    It's really tempting to put her below Violetta; see above re: launching herself into the dust-up uninvited, and on the wrong side no less. "YOU NEVER TOUCH HER!" -- uh, what? One, Violetta is fine on her own. Two, you're not her husband. Three, "I don't feel like I need to apologize, but I'm going to" is not in fact an apology. ...Fuck it, I am putting her below Violetta. Violetta isn't any better than this. Sylvia is.

Season To Date Rankings

Rank Name Points Trending
1 Nicole 47
2 Jason 38
3 Sylvia 28
4 Bruno 24
5 Madison 21
6 (tie) Violetta 19
6 (tie) Tony 19
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