Screen: MTV

Two Girls, A Rock, And A Hard Place

Tony's shaken up by his skeletons, and so are the Real World power rankings.

It's interesting that Elizabeth, one of Tony's maybe-current-sort-of-former? girlfriend skeletons, brings up Tony's father's passing this week. She's a Ps-'n'-Qs nightmare with no laugh lines, curating his shirts, snarking at him to hurry up, and her reference to Tony not wanting to get into a whole drinking/clubbing scene because of his father's untimely demise due to drug problems is probably intended to manipulate him some way -- but it's interesting that his relationships and interactions with Madison, Elizabeth, and then Alyssa have a sort of addiction quality to them. He feels he's not able to control his responses around them. He spends a lot of time feeling guilty or apologizing. His sense of his own agency in the situations is, like, nil and proceeds from compromised self-esteem as the result of growing up with a substance-abusing parent.

This is all pop-psych theorizing on my part, I don't know Tony or what really went on with his pops obviously, etc. etc. disclaimer blah, and there's very little more annoying than setting every human flaw or screw-up along an addiction axis. We're just talking here. But I did find it striking, because he seems so anxious and yet paralyzed out of changing anything at the same time. What Tony really craves, I imagine, is consistency and routine; sure, Elizabeth breaks his balls, but she's reliable about it.

Not much else goes on this week. Madison has her "fool me twice" moment, and the production fills time with Bruno's not-very-funny pranks, but the rest is pretty much Tony's conflicted relationship with being bossed around and fought over, and because this isn't the kind of thing people tend to unpack and move on from in a week, it gets repetitive fast.

"What the hell?" I'll list the housemates from best to worst each week. First place gets 7 points, second place 6, and so on. Whoever has the most points at the end of the season is probably the most awesome person in the RW: Skeletons house. No, Mr. Snuggledicks doesn't get his own slot. No, I don't think this is a terribly scientific system. Yes, I went to university "for this."

  1. Violetta
    Vee hits the comeback trail with some awesome soundbites, starting with the hand gesture she adds to "plot twist." Happens to be the same gesture I use to communicate that I want a twist in a Manhattan. Then she responds to the information that Tony claims he broke up with Elizabeth before he came to the RW house with, "I had a bowl of cereal before I came here, doesn't mean I hate cereal." Amazing. "Wants all the cake, but not the calories" is pretty good too.
  2. Nicole
    Her impatience at Madison's freakout when Elizabeth shows up is both understandable and kind of harsh...but her other harsh moment, impassively regarding Jason's step demo and grunting, "...No," cracked me up for five minutes.
  3. Jason
    He has a hilarious interview-snark delivery; we cut from Elizabeth pouting it up at the club to Jason despairing, "It's your birthday, for God's sake." But the very wild hair that settles across his bung about Elizabeth bossing and bitching at Tony has, I'm guessing, almost nothing to do with Elizabeth, and even if it IS straight loyalty to his bro, he needs to bring it down half a dozen notches.
  4. Bruno
    This doesn't say anything great about either of us, but I kind of love Bruno's openness in his desire to see dust-ups, to the point of shushing others so he can eavesdrop. I would rank him higher -- his baffled "unless she has the best vagina in the world...?" about Elizabeth, while not very insightful, is still funny thanks to his beleaguered tone -- but the "prank wars" shit is dumb and boring.
  5. Madison
    Girlfriend needs a higher rise on her jeans, and the "let's smother the enemy with my cuteness" strategy she takes with Elizabeth wouldn't have been any smarter if it HAD worked, but I feel bad for the kid; she knows she did it to herself, and that makes it worse. "He's a shitheel and he STILL didn't pick me" is one of the coldest rains of them all. "After seeing the relationships in THIS house? I don't know if I want one," she sighs. Stitch it on a pillow, lady, because exactly.
  6. Sylvia
    Sweetly comforts Madison and isn't judgmental, but like Jason, needs to dial it way way down with the offering to poison Elizabeth and the "no broad should talk to him like that." I mean, credit for use of the term "broad," I guess, but 1) nobody should talk to him like that, because he's not six no matter how he might act sometimes, and 2) find something else to think about.
  7. Tony
    If you have two DGAF exes you have to keep straight with the monikers "Queen" and "Princess," it's time to take a look at your life and do everything different...like not sleeping with a roommate, spending the next night with Princess, then making out with Queen when SHE shows up. It's hard to get mad at the guy, because I don't think he's happy or thinks he's getting away with anything, but...yeah, no.

Season To Date Rankings

Rank Name Points Trending
1 Nicole 40
2 Jason 33
3 Sylvia 27
4 Bruno 18
5 (tie) Madison 17
5 (tie) Violetta 17
6 Tony 16
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