Trying To Be Supportive

The S.O. visits never go well on The Real World, and Mark's sojourn to Portland is no exception, though it might have set a record for zero-to-"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW KIRA" acceleration. It's easy for me to say that Mark and Anastasia create this mishegas because they don't really have anything else to talk about, but it's not like I knew any better at that age, and it's good she decided not to go home.

Still, all the up-to-eleven vodka-ing about in the wee hours cut her off at the rankings knees.

What's going on here? I'll list the housemates from best to worst each week. First place gets 8 points, second place 7, and so on. Whoever has the most points at the end of the season is probably the most awesome person in the RW: Portland house. Yes, I'm counting Averey's dog, Daisy. No, I don't think this is a terribly scientific system.

And now, let's start fresh...

  1. Johnny

    When Jessica confronts him about calling her fat, delivers one of the all-time great smirky "I'm sorry you feel that way"-style apologies and gets to look like a good guy. Sagely tells Anastasia to "enjoy her time" and trust that things with Mark will work out like they're supposed to. Postpones the apology Nia is dying to deliver to finish having sex first. Tells the camera that Daisy told him Nia is smothering her emotionally.

  2. Averey

    Great week for Little Miss Sex-Positive, since she stows it about that stuff in favor of reading in bed with Johnny/eavesdropping on fights (my people!), and noting that Nia drives her nuts because Nia is like her mother. Cries in the confessional that she doesn't want Ana to leave, but knows she'd want to leave to in the same situation: "I'm trying to be supportive." Accepts Jessica's somewhat mercenary apology, but only to shut Jessica up; acknowledges that it took Nia a lot to apologize, even if Averey doesn't entirely trust it.

  3. Daisy

    Has gotten fat. Growls at Mark.

  4. Jordan

    Not on camera at all for the first 40 minutes; must have gotten a lady friend who wouldn't sign the release, always a smart move on RW. When he returns, advises Anastasia to think on it before deciding to leave, not just for himself because he'll miss her, but for her own sake, so she doesn't regret anything.

  5. Marlon

    Didn't really do anything wrong, but a bit smug, and should have remembered Mark's name/existence even if Anastasia did pitch a disproportionate sulk about it.

  6. Nia

    Cuts off Jessica's whining about Johnny calling her fat with a barely-paying-attention "if they're not true, don't accept them as true." Apologizes to everyone, for everything, admitting that she just "wants to win" -- but does it mostly to keep Anastasia in the house, not because she's sorry, and tries to do it while Johnny and Averey are Doing It, which is self-absorption of a stunning caliber. Feeds Daisy human food, to wit: a pile of shredded cheese with ranch dressing on it.

  7. Anastasia

    Goes all boo-boo kitty when she thinks nobody's been paying attention to her boyfriend stuff. Not the real issue, one suspects, and when Mark finally arrives and Bird makes the rookie mistake of complaining that he got too drunk while he's too drunk, it's on. "If that's how you feel then get out HEY WHERE YA GOING?!" After a manhunt to his hotel and a fight with the mic packs on, the pair works things out, to wit, she's going to leave with just a few weeks to go, because she can't take all the infighting in the house (she says) and Mark has nothing going on without her and is pressuring her to go with him when he departs (what's really happening). She does slow her roll and decide to stick it out, and she does tell Mark on the phone that he needs to have something in his life besides her…but she does it really tactlessly, and he goes back to the "do you want to be with me or not" nuclear option, and it's…just not good.

  8. Jessica

    Not terrible this week; not good either. Seems to see everyone else's agita over Anastasia's situation as an opportunity to insert herself into relationships. Probably means well when Anastasia is bumming, but opens with, "Hey, Debbie Downer, you okay?" Makeup situation much improved, but she's still trying to force closeness that nobody feels because she just does not hear herself.

Season To Date Rankings

Rank Name Points Trending
1 Marlon 64  
2 Daisy 51  
3 Johnny 49  
4 Jordan 48  
5 Anastasia 43  
6 Averey 31  
7 Nia 25  
8 Jessica 21  
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