Screen: MTV

Skeletons Of Fun

The inaugural housemate nemesis finally arrives at the Real World house.

I wonder how the producers thought the housemates would respond to the skeletons. The last season made the kids live with their exes, so it's not like they had no idea -- or wouldn't have gotten one during the vetting/release-signing process -- but the near-universal rejecting-the-transplant reaction to Alicia, Sylvia's boss from hell who probably views this gig as a springboard to...who even knows. Hosting Are You The One? reunions, let's say. But the house sides with Sylvia immediately, and in a few cases melodramatically (Violetta is waaaay over the top with the fourth-grade "here's your bed, IN THE GARBAGE" comments).

At least it's finally happening, though, and I like Sylvia, but I really cannot with The Bruno Situation anymore, so it's good that we can focus on a different dramz with her instead of the drunk crying and transference of her pain onto Tony's schnorrer routine. Which I back her on, by the way. Bring cash or chew gum, hoss, these are the choices.

Speaking of bars, we also learned that the housemates have jobs as bartenders and waitrons. The show just dropped that in there all "no big D but we gotta go to work," and I like it! No boring lead-up or fake-ola interview process, no shoehorning seven people into a single work environment, no acting like the housemates get their spending money from a tree on the deck, just: they do this for work, FYI. Well done.

Less well done this week: Bruno, so let's get to it.

"What the hell?" I'll list the housemates from best to worst each week. First place gets 7 points, second place 6, and so on. Whoever has the most points at the end of the season is probably the most awesome person in the RW: Skeletons house. No, Mr. Snuggledicks doesn't get his own slot. No, I don't think this is a terribly scientific system. Yes, I went to university "for this."

  1. Jason
    Something about "if you play the game with Nicole, she's going to win" cracked me up. He's mostly reacting to other people this week, but is a grownup about it, and kudos for pointing out to others in the house that they're too quick to believe some of Alicia's assertions about Sylvia.
  2. Nicole
    Just her usual self, getting numbers at the club, noting that you can "marry into" the wolfpack, bagging on wingmanning for Tony to put on a tight dress and club it with the others. Should probably stay out of drunk fights a little more, but did solid work squashing some booze rage this episode.
  3. Sylvia
    At least she admits that she still sweats Bruno and has a hard time with his picking Carla, and in the early scenes she's wearing the only romper I've ever looked at and considered changing my longtime anti- policy. She's probably a little too mad about Tony spacing his part of the bill, and she's definitely wrong about getting in his face before the next morning when everyone's sober, but: see above. I get it.
  4. Madison
    She's okay this week, despite repeated references by other housemates to "Madisonland" (she's a bubblehead at work, allegedly, and uncritically super-friendly to Alicia when she arrives at the house), but I have to mark off for "you're going to be able to have your truth."
  5. Tony
    Don't catch nickelitis when the tab comes, bro. Terrible look. Half point added back for "we're looking for the ones who aren't camera-shy," because I respect that he puts it right out there.
  6. Violetta
    There's loyalty to your housemates, and then there's this (performance-based?) instant hate-on for Alicia where she's on the production Batphone talking about someone getting killed, throwing Alicia's bedding off the balcony, and telling her she "should have been swallowed." It's just way too much.
  7. Bruno
    The charming "a Reese's [pronounced 'ree-sees'] will make you feel better" to Sylvia is, alas, exactly what makes him such a pro mindfucker, and that mindfuckery keeps him in the basement although he's not as dicky as last week. Also, "know you're not alone with it"? Does he want Sylvia to feel sorry for him because his come-here-go-away routine is confusing him? Shut up, please.

Season To Date Rankings

Rank Name Points Trending
1 Nicole 27
2 Jason 22
3 Sylvia 21
4 Tony 13
5 Madison 11
6 (tie) Violetta 9
6 (tie) Bruno 9
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