Screen: MTV

Mexican Hat Dunce

Nicole's fellow triplets visit and Bruno confronts a Hamburglar in the latest Real World power rankings.

Oh. Oh...oh, no. No, girl! No no no!

Oh, Madison. No.

Over here, you have Tony genuinely realizing that he might miss out on a great thing with Madison, and changing his mind about his "I want to experience Chicago" stance so he doesn't lose her. (And can I say, again, how much I hate that bullshitty way of putting it? Being exclusive with a housemate doesn't preclude you from going to the Art Institute, Weenie Roast. Just say you want a broad range of BJs; ain't nothing wrong with that, and it's honest.) Over here, though, you have Tony undergoing a lizard-brain spasm of attraction to something he now believes he can't have, and desperately grabbing at it. These aren't the same things. These aren't reeeeally that easily conflatable as the same things, either. We tell ourselves they are, so that we can feel better about being the one who cares more, about giving in.

I give that shit a week before some girl at the club twerks on Tony's crotch, Madison flips, he accuses her of clinging, and it's A Whole Thing. Although maybe we'll be too busy watching the Bettencourts Bettenfight about proteins for That Whole Thing to get any screentime...or, hopefully, following Bruno to a neurologist, because the disproportionate "blackout" rages (Bruno's term), braided into the story about his getting hit by a car (by Bruno), make it seem like there's some kind of ongoing TBI or concussion issue.

"What the hell?" I'll list the housemates from best to worst each week. First place gets 7 points, second place 6, and so on. Whoever has the most points at the end of the season is probably the most awesome person in the RW: Skeletons house. No, Mr. Snuggledicks doesn't get his own slot. No, I don't think this is a terribly scientific system. Yes, I went to university "for this."

  1. Jason
    His "I gotta get home and call Carla" imitation of Bruno is on point, but he lands in first this week thanks to his hilariously timed silent fleeing of the smoking porch when Madison comes out to rip every strip off Tony. What makes it art: he's wearing that sombrero again.
  2. Sylvia
    Way better week for her, thanks in part to her Flat Bruno art project. (Good thing she didn't craft Flat Bruno, a photocopy of Bruno that accompanied the roomies to the bars when Bruno loftily refused to come along, out of ground chuck. She'd be dead now.) Sweet and compassionate to Madison, and wise about people not always taking care of our hearts like we hope they would.
  3. Nicole
    Her fellow triplets turn up and blow up her spot with the Boston accent, which they don't share. "It's cute, though, right?" Nicole asks a girl she's hitting on -- and she's also teased for her "player" tendencies, but has to admit that she's "addicted to cheating" so she doesn't get hurt, and that Ashley and Samantha's impending marriages will break up the band for the first time.
  4. Violetta
    How classic that she accidentally wings Madison in the eye with an airplane bottle of alcohol. (Sylvia: "Put a beer on it!" Amazing.) She's sincerely sorry, though, and gives Madison some solid and non-judgy counseling about the Tony sitch. Maybe last week's storm really did clear off her clouds.
  5. Madison
    I completely empathize with both her fury that Tony only comes to her bed when he "can't get a girl home," and her inextinguishable hope that that's capital-M Meaningful about his feelings for her. Still cringed when she wasn't like, "Too late, chiefie," but hey, maybe it'll all work out.

    ...Hee! It won't.

  6. Tony
    Here's a thing that weirds me out: Tony looks like a guy I knew in university...named Madison. Anyhoodle, it's almost hard to bag on the guy, because he's made it plain what he is. His reasoning might be specious, but we all know the words to this tune -- when people tell you who they are, you gots to listen -- and it's not his fault if it won't get stuck in Madison's head. That said, the sleeveless hoodie is not even cute.
  7. Bruno
    It's totally fair that he's over it with clubbing and would rather stay in and cook for Carla, but between the occasional table-hucking furies; the fact that he's either only claiming not to talk to his brother over a tuna sand, but there's something else going on, or is actually not talking to his brother over a tuna sand and some shit Briah talked to him after that fight that, it being siblings, you have to accept as button-mashing and let go in life; that he blacks out when he's mad; and his matter-of-fact statement that anger won't leave his system "until I hit somebody," something is perhaps wrong with the kid, like, physically. He really does have these two different people going on, and that he can't seem to stop himself from raking people (he sneers that Sylvia's "an embarrassment to" herself) or worrying bones of contention (Tony got randomly popped in the face while they were out; Bruno doesn't even hear that and is singlemindedly hammering the housemates over the burger thing)...I'm not a doctor, but that doesn't feel healthy to me.

Season To Date Rankings

Rank Name Points Trending
1 Nicole 59
2 Jason 51
3 Sylvia 38
4 Madison 29
5 Tony 28
6 Bruno 27
7 Violetta 24
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