Screen: MTV

'I Can't Relate To Your Rich-People Problems'

Ignoring people who bait you...not throwing tables at roommates...you know. Those problems.

An episode that, in theory, should serve as a climax for the Skeletons season kind of fizzles, no? A little scattered and all over the place? It's nice that Violetta decides at least to try to talk it out with her skeletons, Jessica and Tia -- I guess. The real skeleton is her eating disorder, though, and Real World seems to want that to excuse, or explain, Violetta's whiplashy behavior, humorless grump one minute, carefree gadfly the next, giddy drunk, dour shadow. And I suppose it does explain it, but not all of it, nor the weird feeling that we're getting a scripted-show type of neatly resolved look into Violetta's illness.

Not that anyone else is covering him- or herself with glory this week, except Nicole, who's more covering herself with non-idiocy than doing anything necessarily positive (I do love that she's matter-of-factly the in-house bouncer restraint guy whenever another housemate is on a drunken rage spree). And I know it's only February, but "I'm always gonna be namaste" is a strong contender for Dumbest Thing Said On MTV In 2015. We'll see how it's looking when Catfish starts in a few weeks.

"What the hell?" I'll list the housemates from best to worst each week. First place gets 7 points, second place 6, and so on. Whoever has the most points at the end of the season is probably the most awesome person in the RW: Skeletons house. No, Mr. Snuggledicks doesn't get his own slot. No, I don't think this is a terribly scientific system. Yes, I went to university "for this."

  1. Nicole
    "My underwear game is on key." Who cares whether it's true? Awesome statement. I also enjoyed her tickled "Tia, what are you talking about?" when Violetta's amply front-porched nemesis Tia started in with the zen-obabble.
  2. Jason
    Yelling at Violetta not to care about things Bruno says if they aren't true is sound advice, but not the kind of thing people tend to hear from someone else. I like his Bruno-whisperer "just relaaaaaax" style and his hide-and-seek 'brero, though.
  3. Madison
    "Her voice just annoys me." HAAAAA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA amazing. Her Klingon routine at the club with Tony is paaaainful, but speaking of things there's no telling people -- she totally knows she should drop that shit like a hot pan but she gets lit up, he's right there, and she wants validation. I get it, I've done it, I haaaaate watching it.
  4. Sylvia
    Now she's mad at Violetta for picking fights and melodramatically switching rooms at 2 AM? Okay, boss.
  5. Tony
    Bagging on Violetta for talking a big game is accurate, but not productive, and it's not that Jessica isn't attractive -- though she's wearing so much makeup that I kept thinking of that line from Dazed & Confused, "I bet she's pretty cute once you clean all the shit off her" -- but 1) you JUST got free of the dramscape of your own two exes, and 2) she just barfed?
  6. Bruno
    I won't sit here and tell you that Violetta's drunk buzzsaw "BYE-EEEEEEE" isn't like a wet willy to the soul, but I also can't really believe Bruno's bellowing table-flippy rage had all that much to do with Violetta. His plaintively imbecilic "my testosterone is just building up, and how do I get rid of it?" is likely the problem, or near the root. Less drinking, more spanking, Rageballs McShotsky.
  7. Violetta
    We never really find out what happened with Jessica's alleged We Hate Violetta Instagram; it doesn't really matter. Violetta's belief in its existence is supposed to provide evidence that she got bullied at one time, I guess? And Tia's hard to take seriously as an enemy with the zen foolishness she obviously doesn't understand. But Violetta's still hard to take, period. Certainly I don't wish her any ill, and she's probably sincere about hoping other people get help with their weight issues as a result of seeing her on the show. I'm glad she could open up about it finally. She's just exhausting with the dishing it out and refusing to take it, and I have compassion for her but still dislike her.

Season To Date Rankings

Rank Name Points Trending
1 Nicole 54
2 Jason 44
3 Sylvia 32
4 (tie) Bruno 26
4 (tie) Madison 26
5 Tony 22
6 Violetta 20
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