Dinner AND A Show

Stolen bottles, foxy exes, and retrograde attitudes about the check mix things up for the Real World: Skeletons power rankings.

As refreshing as it is to write up an episode's central conflict in which, for a change, everyone is wrong except Violetta, I really need everyone involved to cram it with walnuts -- or go lie down and sleep it off, because when we leave our "heroes," everyone's all drunk-pride high dudgeon, and it's exhausting. Tony should not have stolen the bottle, or used his upbringing as an excuse/line item of entitlement; Nicole should not have led that sad Zach bro on in exchange for getting the situation taken care of; Sylvia should not have called Tony "white trash"; Jason should not have chosen now to decide Nicole "favors" Tony and Bruno over him, and start bitching about it to Sylvia. Madison kind of doesn't do anything...but she shouldn't just stand around and not do anything.

None of this is going to look like a BFD in the morning, of course, and I don't think I see where Jason's attack of territorial wolf-pack envy is coming from, but maybe I'm more sympathetic than I should be to Nicole's rationalizing here, because 1) she's not wrong, Zach had bought her beaucoup shots, so what's the difference if she frenches him to get the bottle paid for, and 2) the bottle gets paid for. It's absolutely a shitty way to do Zach, but the guy had a choice, and Nicole is the only person who seemed focused in any realistic way on finding a workable solution and executing on it. She thinks it's a funny story and defends Tony, which would not be my angle on it, but I'm a nationally ranked grudgy martyr, so what do I know.

Oh, remember Madison's nice ex, Skyler, who came to visit? That also happened, and Madison was all Marilyn "you're the beeeeest, huuuuugs" and then seemed sincerely baffled when Tony hucked Skyler's flowers over the balcony. Really, girl? First day with boobs?

"What the hell?" I'll list the housemates from best to worst each week. First place gets 7 points, second place 6, and so on. Whoever has the most points at the end of the season is probably the most awesome person in the RW: Skeletons house. No, Mr. Snuggledicks doesn't get his own slot. No, I don't think this is a terribly scientific system. Yes, I went to university "for this."

  1. Violetta
    Well served by staying out of the way again this week, except to tell Madison that she highly doubts anyone's going to kidnap her at the mystery brunch if Bunim/Murray's there to ask them to sign a waiver first.
  2. Jason
    As full of fun phrasings as ever this week -- "beyond 'darn'; a DAMN fool"; "Violetta, BRING your ass on" -- and looks very cute in Nicole's pink undies. He's also smart enough to know that he's about to pop Tony in the face, and walks away in time. It read to me like he was letting himself get madder than he actually felt because that's what booze does sometimes, but we'll see.
  3. Nicole
    I guess I'm supposed to clock her harder, but: see above. Identified problem; solved problem. Wants everyone to get along a little too much and maybe Jason's right that she'd give him hell for doing what Tony just did, but I'm not seeing it.
  4. Madison
    I don't know. It's fine to give Tony some of his own medicine, but don't act like it's a fuckin' headline when he doesn't like the taste. That's the entire point. "What's wrong with you?" Girl. Really.
  5. 2015-03-04-rw-cheers
  6. Sylvia
    I get that it's coming mostly from feeling left out, and from thinking Tony's getting a free pass from the roommates for acting a heisty fool, which is fair, but her Mother Superior routine -- earlier, too, with a talking head in which she neeners him for getting jealous about Skyler -- is deeply uncute. Eyes on your own paper.
  7. Tony
    The self-pitying justifications for stealing a bottle he can't pay for are bullshit. Points for admitting that karma "bit [him] on the ass" vis-a-vis Madison having a guy staying in her room, especially since Madison herself is all "...what?", and Tony does calm down after drunkenly trying to huck Skyler's bed over the railing, and befriends the guy. But he needs to spend a few nights in, drinking sody-pop.
  8. Bruno
    This bitch, seriously. He takes Carla to dinner, and she tries to surprise him by treating him, so of course he shuts down, and she doesn't get why she can't do something nice for him once in awhile. Uh, because he's an antediluvian control freak? He's legit pissed off and embarrassed that a girl paid for his kibble, too, all, "Am I a big joke?" Well, NOW you are, Flintstone -- get a grip! Later, she attempts to reason with him and is ordered out of the house, but for some reason accepts his Bundy-eyed "I love you" and responds with one of her own, then decides it's the cameras that are the problem, not that Bruno is the Hulk. Good luck, lady.

Season To Date Rankings

Rank Name Points Trending
1 Nicole 70
2 Jason 63
3 Sylvia 54
4 Violetta 44
5 Tony 40
6 Madison 39
7 Bruno 30
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