Cliquing Up

A very enjoyable episode that featured everyone in the house except Nia arriving at "so over it, we're under it" with Jessica at the same time. Sadly, not much movement, as Anastasia and Marlon continue to be too mature and incisive to let anyone else put on good pointage. I can live with it, though.

What's going on here? I'll list the housemates from best to worst each week. First place gets 8 points, second place 7, and so on. Whoever has the most points at the end of the season is probably the most awesome person in the RW: Portland house. Yes, I'm counting Averey's dog, Daisy. No, I don't think this is a terribly scientific system.

And now, back to my job that Nia's too good for...

  1. Anastasia

    Explains reasonably -- and more diplomatically than I would have -- that she'd rather spend time with Averey than Jessica because Jessica makes it difficult to talk to anyone else. Sighs in an interview that Jessica needs to "just shut up," and says to her face that she's "all talked out" about how she and Averey are supposedly excluding Jessica. Teases Nia mercilessly about the Kegel egg Nia gets stuck up the junction, to the point of giving it names.

  2. Marlon

    With Johnny and Nia scuffling in the next room, mutters, "Shit's not that serious, yo." Is a good sport about falling off the dirt bikes Jessica dragged everyone along to ride, after traveling maaaaybe four feet. Doesn't understand Nia's allergy to work: "It's not a hard job, just do it."

  3. Daisy and Jordan (tie)

    Once again, barely registering in the episode is a positive points-wise.

  4. Averey

    Is a know-it-all again, some more, about sex toys, and wears booty shorts to do motocross, but also tells Jess to "grow up," and insightfully calls Nia "a nobody like the rest of us." Says Jess reminds her of "like, a little child." Totally isn't having Nia's fakeness or "I'm too good to work food service" attitude.

  5. Johnny

    Should not have involved himself in the restroom dust-up amongst Jess, Nia, and Averey; should extra-not have resorted to fat-shaming to push Jess's buttons, since she's not fat and it's too easy in the second place. That said, the desired effect -- Jess giving him the silent treatment -- is achieved, and he's perfectly willing to call Nia's various bluffs, including responding to her weak burns on his penis size by having a pantsless conversation with her.

  6. Jessica

    Another awful week for her. Doesn't understand why girls "clique up around" her but not with her; invites herself along with Averey and Anastasia several places, instead of taking the hint, then whinges that they only talk to each other; gets some credit for telling Averey directly that she's feeling hurt that their friendship excludes her, but should have dropped it after that, and doesn't, to the point of going to lunch with Nia and following the others to the same restaurant. Breaks down in screechy tears when Johnny confronts her for talking shit to Averey in the ladies', then hides in the confessional. Still not 100 percent on makeup blending or dresses that flatter her body. Or…10 percent on those things. Klingon behavior is both infuriating and pitiable; ditto the attempt to Have A Thing with being a female who's into dirt bikes, like, it is 2013.

  7. Nia

    Hard to believe the others let Nia get to them when she's so transparently insecure/interprets "walking away from an argument she's losing" as "winning." Gets herself fired, then doubles down by calling a meeting with the owner, telling her she's lying about Nia not showing up, and dropping snotty gems like, "Have a good life, here at Schmizza, thank you." The fact that her crappy "work" "ethic" is now televised record seems not to have occurred to her, as she brags that she doesn't need the job, but also that she can get any job she wants, like, what? Deems Averey, Jordan, and Johnny "peons." Stirs shit on Jessica's "behalf," then disappears to make a sandwich. Superiority cravings more boring than annoying.

Season To Date Rankings

Rank Name Points Trending
1 Marlon 60  
2 Daisy 45  
3 Jordan 43  
4 Johnny 41  
5 Anastasia 41  
6 Averey 24  
7 Nia 22  
8 Jessica 20  
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