Eden Comes From Her Truth And P.K. Comes For Everyone On The RHOBH Finale
Let's see how the women of Beverly Hills fared in their final showing.
At last, it's the season finale; time to rank the major players from worst to first based on their performance this week.
To the rankings!
It isn't uncommon for a husband to get involved in the drama. Sometimes we get lucky and it's in the form of Greg Leakes, or Mauricio. Other times it's a sweaty idiot like Joe Giudice, or Simon van Kempen. P.K. is in a category all his own; this Mr. Potato Head was assembled using everyone's absolute worst quality. Mauricio literally tells him to let the women sort it out themselves.
Leading questions and asshole comments over a glass of wine at home are par for the course, but at one point in the finale he's literally peeking around a wall and sweating through his Michael Kors cosplay because he doesn't want to miss his mark. He's desperate, not to defend his beloved Cool Ranch Dorito, but for the opportunity to engage. And he finally got it, which is why he is where he is. He's deliberately an asshole and inherently awful.
- Pandora & Jason
Is methamphetamine what sets their rosé apart from the others in a saturated market?
- Lisa RinnUGH
It finally occurred to me what RinnUGH's problem is: She doesn't belong on Beverly Hills. She'd be better utilized on Orange County, a place where insults are hurled with abandon, and illness, real or imaginary, is featured in season-long arcs that actually work. Beverly Hills is a slow burn and she's the Human Torch. Neither the cast nor the series can keep up with her manic energy. She isn't filling the void Brandi left so much as giving us a one-woman show built around the archetype and playing to the back of the house.
Eden says she has an evil, angry energy -- and it really shows here. She gets in a few good talking heads, but she's mostly resigned to skulking around like the bobcat she is. Giving or receiving, every interaction is a provocation or deflection. It's exhausting.
- Cool Ranch
The vodka Red Bull that willed itself to life comes close to being likable. But, as you know: Redbull gives you wings. As such, the gold-tinted Grey Goose flies too close to the sun, immediately bursting into flames. There's the exchange with Kim, which begins well but turns into a series of cruel head games. There's also her exchange with Erika and RinnUGH, which shows signs of promise until she gets frustrated and her tenth apology for Pantygate turns into another chapter in this ongoing series.
Finally, the worst offense: Not saying a word when P.K.'s tearing into Erika and Eileen. Nope, she just stands there sipping on a bottle of water like someone who was just in a fender-bender; alternating between smiling weakly and looking like she sharted upon impact. She and Erika eventually have their moment, and it's fine, but it's incredible to me that she doesn't reference P.K. in it.
- Lisa Vanderpump
Lisa's in her element: She's dressed like a princess; the ponies are front and center in full hair and makeup; Pandora's launching a product; someone wrote a song for her. Unfortunately for her, what works on Vanderpump Rules falls flat here. Moving forward, she needs to stop playing peacemaker and take a page from Kyle's approach.
(Questions: Why isn't she wearing rose gold? Why does she switch from the rosé she's supposed to be promoting to red wine? She's drunk most of this episode, right?)
She looks fantastic.
She seems like she's happy and in a great place.
She needs to RSVP "NO" next time she's invited to an event that isn't Kyle's.
Eden's just the right amount of mentally ill to merit a second season. Do I think she'll get it? [Luann voice] Not really. Her reaction to RinnUGH grossly saying she was done with her the second she spoke to LVP -- shouting in that Cinderella gown and stopping the party dead in its tracks -- is exactly what I've been waiting for.
Am I worried this is another iteration of Kim now that the show's pretty much run its course with her and can't keep returning to the same dry well? Or worse, is actively trying to recreate Taylor "If you can't be my friend, just please don't be my enemy" Armstrong? Of course! But after a season of observing the popular girls she just happens to have study hall with from behind her Sydney Bristow wig, I'm interested to see what, if anything, happens. Mostly, though, I just loved seeing RinnUGH stunned by her own handiwork.
Speaking of stunned, let's talk about the dead eyes and 100-mile stare. Sounds like a dig, but wherever she goes, I'm all for the brief layover. Her less is more approach to the season (save the odd THs where she complains about having too much, even though it's probably in her contract that she can wear a head-to-toe ensemble of apparel from The Agency to the reunion) is exactly the route a seasoned professional needs to take at this stage in the game.
Eileen's found her voice this season, and I'm growing to love every stupid, corny, vaguely alarming thing that comes out of her mouth. (Is she dropping acid often?) Yes, her assembling the cast for the fight everyone knew was coming was heavy-handed. But at least she's taking initiative. Plus I like how she straddles the line between ironic fan favorite (a soap star who can't navigate reality TV) and the person you'd genuinely have the most fun with at Applebee's for lunch. I especially like how objective she is.
Which brings us to the reason she's here: She was the only person who defended Erika against P.K. when he tried strong-arming her into admitting she's inherently cold. Well done, Eileen.
I've been hard on Erika, so it's nice to see her end the season back on top. What's so bad about being an ice queen? It comes in handy when you need to remain cool, calm, and collected while your friend's husband shouts in your face. She handled herself incredibly well, and with the exception of Hong Kong, I wouldn't expect anything less. (Probably because she knew she had to, but whatever.) Bonus points for hilariously checking her makeup in her mirror-paneled clutch while Eden screamed over her at Rinna.