When Club One Opens, Another Real Housewives Of Atlanta Relationship Closes
Plus Kandi unveils a new sex toy and her latest beef at her annual Bedroom Kandi convention!
Kenya and Cynthia meet at a pet store that lets customers give their own dogs a bath. (Cake decorating, escape rooms, dog-washing; can't wait until the cast turns twenty-one!) Kenya washes one of her dogs while Cynthia stands in the background holding hers like a baby, probably wondering why they couldn't have shot this scene on the dock at her new house. Later, they talk about Matt, whom Kenya's currently on a break from. Then she tells Cynthia that Peter called her.
Meanwhile, Peter arrives at a dealership because he wants a new car. Todd meets him and they talk about the grand opening of Peter's latest venture, Club One. He's asked Kenya to emcee. Cynthia's glad Kenya told her about the conversation and is happy she was asked to work the event. She's less enthusiastic (but too ready to commit) when Kenya asks her to come along even though she wasn't invited. Peter buys a $159,000 car.
Bowties & Haters To The Left
Todd asks for Kandi's help choosing an outfit for Club One's opening. She laughs at the semi-embarrassing spread, remembers their restaurant's going the way of Chateau Shereè, and comes back down to earth within thirty seconds. She can't even go; it's time for her annual Bedroom Kandi convention. Smartly, Todd pushes the blame onto someone else by showing her a post from her former employee Johnnie, who's calling her out for being "fake." Super; add him to the list.
Kandi and Todd sit down, and Kandi tells him about her meeting with Porsha and Shereè. Then it's a back and forth about how everyone's two-faced and spinning things to protect Phaedra. If Porsha's really Kandi's friend too, why doesn't she ever defend her? Why is she attacking her now? True statements and important questions! However, they're not exactly new.
A Moving Moving Day
Porsha's moving out of her house and back in with her mother until she can find a bigger, permanent place to start a family. Her brother comes over with some boxes and they finish packing up the kitchen, the only room her mother didn't finish. (Probably for the purposes of filming this scene.) She's grateful for the help but quick to draw attention to a bottle of whipped cream on the counter, which she "jokes" was used by her mom and her mom's boyfriend during sex. Which is somehow less strange and offensive than the revelation that Porsha regularly swaps out enlarged promotional images of herself to put on the mantle.
Oh, How Novel!
Shereè meets with Selena James, her editor (!!!!!), to pick up the final edits and see the jacket markup of the book she's been hinting at all these years. Opting for a novel over a memoir, she's finally ready to unveil her roman à clef. Which, as she puts it, "exposes some of the who's who of Atlanta." It's thinly-veiled -- cue the voiceover of Shereè talking about Paris, a former stripper the protagonist meets and who quickly becomes a frenemy, while footage of NeNe working a pole plays -- and it's probably terrible; I'll take ten copies.
The Fourth Annual Bedroom Kandi Convention
Kandi arrives at the convention, which she holds annually to boost morale with motivational speakers and uses to inform partners and associates of new developments within the brand. Employees get a 60% commission! So if you sell more, you earn more.
Kandi gets a look at her first-ever product for same-sex partners -- a sleeker, way more complicated version of a strap-on --- then goes to check out the auditorium. Enter Johnnie who, it turns out, still works for her occasionally. She pulls him aside and asks about the post. Which boils down to this: he's upset about the way he was let go (DonJuan did the firing) and is bitter he put in so much time to get so little in return. Kandi counters that business is business and that he was let go because his business got in the way of hers, which is fair. Then DonJuan gets involved and things spiral as Kandi tells Johnnie she doesn't care if he feels undercompensated because he took the money and that he can call her whatever wants, except for fake.
Then she fires him and exits the room like a boss because she is one.
Like, A Virgin
Porsha sneaks Other Todd into her mom's house and they creep upstairs like the dumb teenagers they are. Is there a major disconnect between her shushing him every time he opens his mouth because her mom might wake up and the plan to have mind-blowing sex as she unveils her yoni egg? Of course! But here we are.
Though candles are lit and there's strawberries and whipped cream (the apple doesn't fall far), nothing sets the tone like burning some sage to cleanse the room beforehand. She even made sure to disarm all the fire alarms earlier that day so her mom wouldn't wake up/their quiet, mind-blowing sex wouldn't be interrupted by the fire department. Smart, right?
Parkour's Par For The Course
Shereè decides to spice up her exercise regimen by trying Parkour. More importantly, we now have visual confirmation that Bob can drive, and it's the first scene in which he isn't profusely sweating. They might not seem like important developments, but they are.
Anyway, the two are taking turns jumping on plywood and attempting monkey bars when Shereè gets a call from her editor. (I'm pretty sure she's not doing anything she's supposed to; go figure!) Afterward, she tells Bob she wrote a fictional tell-all and starts asking him if there's anything she could have put in it that would offend him. Luckily there isn't.
Phaedra Parks, Esq.
A meeting's interrupted when Johnnie shows up at Phaedra's office to explore his legal options. He fills her in on his side of things and shows her some pay stubs. (Phaedra says Kandi's running "a plantation, not a factory.") He's also upset because, apparently, he and Kandi were going to be partners on a restaurant before she decided to move forward with Todd instead. He wants to recoup back pay and any lost profits.
Phaedra's interest's piqued, but this isn't her area of expertise. Plus, she doesn't want to make things any more awkward than they already are with Kandi. She promises to get Johnnie the names of some colleagues and sends him on his way.
Cynthia and Kenya arrive in Charlotte for the opening. Two seconds into getting settled, Kenya gets a few texts from Matt. She gets Cynthia and tells her Matt's having an "episode." They sit in the living room, where Kenya explains that Matt was supposed to come because Peter invited him (and was paying for his flight?) but that Kenya suggested he stay home because she didn't want to create a scene.
Matt goes to the airport, finds out his flight's canceled, and posts an angry video on social media. Then he sends Kenya a text that would make Max Cady flinch and tells her he's coming anyway. Neither woman knows what to do; both are legitimately frightened.
Club One looks great. Unfortunately so does Cynthia, who scares the shit out of Peter when she walks in. She pulls Peter aside and tells him what happened. Kenya might not show, but Matt probably will. It segues into a really awkward, sad, soulful conversation about Cynthia being upset about not being invited because she wants to support him, and him saying he didn't invite her because he didn't want it seem like he was trying to force anything on her. They go inside and he buys her a drink.
Kenya shows up and Matt appears too, immediately trying to get into the car to talk to her. Peter goes outside just as Matt's speeding off. The driver started rolling up the window when Matt stuck his head in to talk to Kenya, and Matt smacked him in the face and ran off. Peter calls Matt and tells him that he thinks it's best if he grow up and call it quits with Kenya. Inside, he and Cynthia tell Kenya the same thing. Finally, she agrees and says the time has come.
Later, Peter asks Cynthia back to his place. She says no.
It feels as if there are forty hands keeping all these storylines in place or pulling them along. That said, the hour flies by. Job well done, hands! Now make sure Matt stays away.