Screens: FXX

Mazel, Bitches

The League returns, only to lose one of their own (and possibly the draft board). Sarah runs the numbers.

Fantasy Realness

7

Ruxin's 12 mock drafts = my brother-in-law. Ruxin repeatedly insisting while trying to sound casual that "we should just redraft, right?" after the Cameron Jordan/Jordan Cameron incident = me. Points off for the idea that anyone does it analog anymore.

Ruxin Voluptuous-Horror Faces

4
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A comparatively placid week for young Rodney.

Player On Sarah's Team Is Referenced

0

Not this time, but thanks to the box of vomit auto-draft saddled me with, this category is going to get good.

As An Actor, You're A Fantastic Tight End

3

I may have been distracted by the foxiness of Cameron Jordan, but the NFLers were pretty good, especially Jordan and Cameron. Whoever styled JJ Watt's yarmulke to seem angry should get an Emmy of some sort.

Taco's Jokey Kramer Thing Du Jour Is Kind Of Legit

7

The Payne Stewart homage attire needs work, but I would totally play street golf. I'd even watch street golf and stay awake during it.

Shut Up, Jenny

4

I expected a far higher insufferability score from the league's lone distaff representative, but her complete line of Jenny/Shiva giveaway items (I want the calendar, sort of?) cracked me up. She's lame when she's talking "sack-sy," though.

Character Actor Alert!

2

Ken "Principal Flutie" Lerner as the rabbi presiding over Ted's service.

Too Far/Too Soon/Too Rafi

3

No Rafi, but I found the bed-wetting and the golf ball landing in an extra's soup more off-putting than the gang's drafting while serving as Ted's shomerim. It's what Ted would have wanted, after all, as borne out by Laguna Beach house he's leaving to whomever wins this season. Even Andre's all-white-outfit fake-flash-mob breakdown during the funeral isn't that cringey, thanks to the "Tefl-Andre" thing. And thanks to all the other cringey stuff Andre's already done that has formed a callus on the viewer's retinas.

Fashions By Andre

3

He's rocking a scarf/wolf-shirt combo in the early scenes that's not okay, and the flash-mob outfit, while fugly, is not his doing.

Stand-Up Peg Jammed Into Sitcom Hole

5

Totes agree with Ruxin's mini-logue about dead people looking "peaceful" and how HE wants to look like he's "getting shit done," but it goes on a little too long. Ditto a few elements of the opening dream sequence, but the baboon/beehive image is solid.

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