BBC

It's Your Inspector Lynley Mysteries Drinking Game!

Because something has to dull the pain of Havers's hair.

A couple years back, I recommended The Inspector Lynley Mysteries to the Program Parole Board, and I don't regret it -- it's the sort of soothing British crime-tertainment that doesn't require your full attention, and it's fun to spot now-famous actors well before their names had made it to the States -- but I'd like to revise my opinion of the show somewhat downward.

Specifically, I'd like to amend my assessment of the leads as "likable." One of them is, in that frustrating "help us help you" way; the other one is Lynley himself, and if you watch enough of these in a row over the winter holidays, you may well end up wanting to kick him in the slats. Which is easily enough accomplished, since the character is constantly looming over suspects and colleagues alike.

But if you too own the DVD set, or somehow flew to England and acquired yourself a "streaming" version, you might enjoy the Inspector Lynley Drinking Game, which provides many opportunities for both quaffing and grumbling. Please append your own in the comments!

  • Havers has wretched hair
  • Lynley has wretched hair:
2017-01-27-lynley-lynley-bad-hair
  • We're obliged to care about Havers's aging parents:
  • Scenes from the class struggle in Lynley's car:
  • Future famous actor has a small role:
  • Future famous actor is the killer:
  • Havers is mortified:
  • Hilarious "technology":
  • "For God's sake, get Makeup to stock more Chapstick":
  • Off-puttingly tight close-up:
  • ...because Lynley is looming over his scene partner:
  • ...and suggesting a decidedly limited future for himself in the British diplomatic corps:
2017-01-27-lynley-lynlooming
  • Helen's being a pill:
  • Lynley's being a pill about Helen:
  • 2017-01-27-lynley-helen
  • Lynley's being a grief pill about dead Helen:
  • Lynley has wretched grief-pill hair:
  • Lynley looks jaundiced:
  • Lynley looks nauseated by implication of an old school chum:
  • Havers's utter lack of chill gets her reassigned/demoted:
  • Contrivance returns her to Lynley's side for an investigation, and he's beaming at her all condescending and she's like, "...Ew, sir":
  • You guess the culprit seven minutes in:
  • That culprit gets killed forty-three minutes in:
  • Second murder, unrelated to any guesses, that the murderer, while trying to cover up the first murder, ends up giving him-/herself away with because Lynley and Havers were too busy squabbling over whose theory made more sense to solve the initial case:
  • "Can someone kill [x]? S/he's annoying":
  • That someone does get killed; matters do not improve:
  • 2017-01-27-lynley-havers-hair
  • "Seriously, it's Series 3; why does her hair still look like that?!":
  • "More like 'the Earl of ASS-erton,' amirite?":

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