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Do You Have Questions About Life In The Handmaid's Tale's Gilead? Ask A Man!

Ladies: take a break. In Episode 7, a man is talking.

Q Dear Man,

Following the news out of the former United States Of America, I've never been so grateful to be Canadian! What can we in the international community do to oppose the oppression of women in Gilead?

Cathy In St. Catharines

A Dear Cathy,

It's true: life in Gilead isn't great right now. For example, I got shot. In terms of the oppression of women: my wife is legally prohibited from having access to money of her own or working outside the home, but on the plus side, I can't say I was sorry to stop paying that day care bill, ha ha! I'm not really sure how you might help women in Gilead. Donate to the Red Cross and it'll probably find its way to people who need it? Thank you for your kind concern.

A Man

Q Dear Man,

What's the worst atrocity Gilead is committing against its own people that those of us outside the country don't know?

Brad In Blackpool

A Dear Brad,

After escaping from a crashed ambulance, I staggered to an abandoned coffee shop to replenish my resources, and the food in it was spoiled. Thank you for your question.

sincerely yours,
A Man

Q Dear Man,

I've heard there's a network that helps smuggle endangered citizens out of the former U.S. to Canada. Is this true? How does it work?

Josephine In Johannesberg

A Dear Josephine,

It helps if your mother-in-law gave an illegal vasectomy to someone who's connected! That was the case for my wife and me: she knew of a guy named Mr. W-- I guess I should just call him that, although he ended up getting killed helping us, so I suppose it doesn't matter now! Anyway, he loaded us all into the trunk of our car, made us give up the few things we'd packed to take with us as we fled, drove us through checkpoints that were manned by people he'd known from way back, and brought us to a remote cabin to wait for him to come retrieve us and take us the rest of the way. Like I said, he got killed, so we tried to make it on our own. That didn't work out either -- I got shot, did I say that? -- and I don't know what happened to my wife and daughter, but I figure the smart play is to go back to Boston because that's probably what they did, and then I guess we'll just try to cross again? It can't possibly be harder the second time when the first attempt failed, right? Ha ha.

A Man

Q Dear Man,

If, God forbid, I ever find myself in a refugee situation like you were, what would you say is the best way to comport myself?

Carl In Canberra

A Dear Carl,

Funny you should ask, because that actually happened to me: I was adopted by a group of people including an army officer named Zoey, a nun, a gay man, and a woman who was so traumatized by something that had happened to her in some kind of weird training center in Gilead -- the rest of her group thought maybe fertile women were being snatched up, or something? -- that she'd stopped talking entirely. It took a while, but eventually I figured out that I should shut up and do what this bunch of much more capable people were telling me to. Being a big enough drain on their limited resources with my freaking out and crazy plans that Zoey had to threaten to shoot me definitely helped get my mind right, ha ha! But yeah, I did think it was important to try to derail their plan by pretty much just saying what came to mind without thinking anything through, so I made sure to do that before accepting Zoey's authority as a leader. Might I have been more respectful if she'd been a man? Honestly, there's just no way of knowing.

A Man

Q Dear Man,

Hey dude, women are being used as brood mares in Gilead, which by the way is also planning to resurrect the slave trade using them as a monetizable commodity. Why would I possibly give a single shit about your story?

Grace In Glasgow

A Dear Grace,

I don't know anything about that, but if you need proof that #NotAllMen are bad, I can show you a note from my wife that says she loves me. And just for the record, things aren't great for liberal guys like me. I guess you have no way of knowing this, but I got shot.

your ally,
A Man

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