The Great British Bake Off Premiere's Visual Aids Will Make You Moist

Because you'll salivate at the sight of all this cake. What did you think we meant? Ew, gross!

Listen to our very first episode of the Two Spotted Dicks On The Great British Bake Off podcast to hear us sound off on lumpy icing, drizzles, the taste of Cox...apples. And all this!

The moistmaker.

Previously.TV

Several drizzles drizzling.

Previously.TV

We didn't talk about this on the podcast but it's very pretty. Unfortunately, the texture is awful due to Lee's butter issues.

BBC

The difference between the food porn shot...

BBC

...and the regular shot.

BBC

(Would happily eat either.)

Kate loves the taste of...Cox Apples.

BBC

Tom's gin and tonic cake.

BBC

Tom's smile.

BBC

Here's Adam's gin and tonic cake recipe (not his -- the one he's made) without all that custard nonsense. (I know I said I was a lazy baker and yet this calls for juniper berries and a freakin' mortar and pestle. Trust me, it's worth it. The rest is super-easy and it's can't-fail pretty. The berries are dried, so you can get them online if your local store doesn't carry them. Or just drink the gin.)

This is also really pretty, but alas it's not a drizzle cake.

BBC

Candice is prettier than Tom, but not as good at taking criticism.

BBC

I still love my baby's poundcake.

BBC

This reminded Adam of this four citrus pound cake, which is a staple for when he has to bake something to take somewhere because it's so easy. Next time he's going to toss in some rosemary.

We're not candy (believe us!) even though we look so fine and dandy.

BBC

Producer Dave took this cake one step further and into your nightmares.

BBC

This is a beautiful decorating job that Adam feels like he could maybe actually do.

BBC

The model Jaffa cakes.

BBC

The loser Jaffa cakes.

BBC

(They look fine to us?)

Val says her cakes sing to her and tell her when they're done. We hate Val.

BBC

"Orange...juice?!"

BBC

There's no way this is a bit. Mel legit forgot that orange juice comes from oranges.

Previously.TV

Nice poker face for the challenge that's supposed to be anonymous.

BBC

"It smells a little like grass..." (We sped this up 400%, so imagine how long the awkward silence was in real time.)

Previously.TV

"Less is more."

BBC

Tom's Black Forest cake looks beautiful, but like most things, it needs more liquor.

BBC

White chocolate is bullshit, but it makes a nice dome.

BBC

Phrasing. Also coloring. Also everything. (It tastes good, apparently.)

BBC

Again, white chocolate is bullshit, but Selasi's cake is very pretty and sounds very tasty. It is not, alas, a mirror glaze.

BBC

The sad trombone of cakes.

BBC

BBC

Wha' happened? (It apparently tastes good.)

BBC

I don't understand where Candice even got this mirror. Did she bring it from home?

BBC

Would Andrew have won Star Baker if his Jaffas hadn't been upside down? Very possibly.

BBC

Almost all readers liked this episode
What did you think?

Discussion

Explore the The Great British Bake Off forum or add a comment below.