Enjoy A Marzipanoply of Tudorable Creations In The Great British Bake Off Visual Aids
The challenges are historical, but the bakers are still up on their currant events. (Currants, a relative of raisins, the official fruit of the Previously.TV Podcast Network.)
The bakers have to meet historical (or historical-esque or history-inspired...the rules are a little fuzzy) challenges in Tudor Week -- as you can hear in the latest Two Spotted Dicks podcast -- including meat pies, jumbles, and march pane cakes. Oh and Andrew accidentally makes knights with boners.
Not Tuba Week, Tudor Week! We shouldn't encourage this sort of thing, but we're only human.
Jane's husband made her molds for her, and they look to be made out of cardboard and duct tape? No shade, they work!
Andrew's molds also appear to be homemade, what with the binder clip and all, but they're a wee bit different.
"Paul's just given them a squeeze and given me a look."
Jane's pies aren't the showiest, but they're pretty great where it counts.
Benjamina's dough is a little too thick, but the judges love her Mexican flavors.
Selasi isn't always the best at presentation, but this is very pretty, and the quail egg is extra-special.
Danny is a big fan of Andrew's "Da Vinci-inspired" gear pies. Adam would prefer that the showiness be baked in (as it were) to the food, and not all about stands and whatnot -- plus, as a stickler, he doubts that this is historically appropriate to the challenge). But they agree that this...
...is super-cool. Even Candice, mistress of the over-presentation, is like Oh, SHIT!
We don't really see a fish? But props to Candice for her nautical stand, and for using the discarded oyster shells as decoration.
The sample Jumbles (spiced biscuits, made into two shapes) for the Technical. How hard can it be?
Poor Andrew seriously looks like he might cry or vomit when he reads the recipe...
...but a teeny tiny mortar and pestle makes everything better! (This is entirely the correct reaction.) (Please note our restraint in not making a Spice Grindr joke.)
We don't recall another episode with this much oven-watching.
Paul calls Jane's marzipan design "a bit fiddly." Isn't that the entire point of the challenge?!
Benjamina's cake wasn't perfect, but it's charming. Her tree is so cute!
Andrew's knight looks very happy to see us.
Even though Andrew's cake caused a bit of a stir in Britain, we don't get penis so much as...American football? Giant olive? But why is it there? And do these little cartoon sculptures really belong on this sort of cake -- which, let's not forget, is supposed to be Tudor?
We just don't understand how Selasi didn't go home this week. He did better than Benjamina in the Technical, but everyone seemed pretty equal in the Signature, and this cake seems to pale in comparison to everyone else's.
Maybe it was the quail egg?
We've given Candice a hard time for going over the top, but this is insane in the best way. And it's all about the cake, not just the plating or whatever. And, apart from the Rice Krispy head, it feels plausibly like something that at least could have been on a Tudor table.
It has a surprise inside!
And multi-colored layers!
There's no question that Candice was this week's Star Baker, and we're not sure anyone can complain about time ever again.