The Brady Violation Bunch
With Cary hours away from going to prison, his legal team discovers that they might be able to withdraw his plea over a Brady violation. Maybe they should tell him? And maybe not.
Not Just A Bill
Name: Bill Kroft. Age: Late 30s. Occupation: Prison consultant. Goal: To help Cary prepare for the ordeal he's about to face by giving him real-life tips on how to survive in prison, for the low, low price of $5000 cash. Sample Dialogue: "You want a tip? I got one. [produces a hot pink nightie] Put it on. 'Cause if you don't start paying attention, your cellies are going to make you their prom queen....Shut up and listen."
Friends In Low Places
Who called the meeting? Kalinda.
What's it about? Since Bill has told Cary that he needs a white friend in prison, Cary has called Kalinda to try to find him one. Aw, a prison playdate -- fun! Anyway, she's gone to the biggest lowlife she knows: Lemond Bishop.
How'd it go? Bishop is still mad, and reminds her why: the last time she stood in that kitchen, she threatened him and his son. Kalinda is, accordingly, very deferential, calling him "sir" and letting him loom over her threateningly. Bishop is no fool, and knows the value of having someone like Kalinda owe him a favour, so he puts her in touch with this dude Ray on the phone. This guy already knows all about how Cary was involved in Trey's export case, and Kalinda's like, jigga-WHAT? The whole case against Cary -- particularly the part where he gave damning advice to a bunch of junior gangsters -- revolved around importing drugs into Cook County, so if Trey actually had a whole deal going where he was trying to get into business with someone in Toronto, then all the evidence against Cary applies to a totally different crime...and maybe Kalinda and Co. can get Cary's case overturned. So: good meeting!
The Stand-In's Tale
Name: Adrian Fluke. Age: Early 60s. Occupation: Full-time Professor of Renaissance Literature; part-time debate-prep stand-in. Goal: To do a good enough impression of Frank Prady to let Alicia sharpen her debate skills on him. Sample Dialogue: "It's unfortunate we're inside today, it's so beautiful outside."
To Every Case, Turn, Turn, Overturn
Situation: There seems to be evidence of shenanigans in the case against Cary, and Diane has brought it to Judge Cuesta in an attempt to get his permission to throw out Cary's guilty plea.
What makes it awkward? Diane comes into the courtroom breathing fire, but when the judge is like, do you have any proof that the prosecution knew anything about it, Diane's like, ummmmmmmm. (Because she doesn't.)
How is order restored? Judge Cuesta gives Diane (and Kalinda, and everyone else at Florrick Agos Lockhart, who I guess better hope none of their clients plan to call today) until the time of Cary's sentencing hearing to prove their case. That's six whole hours.
Name: Inspector Bill Frazier. Age: Late 40s. Occupation: Canadian police officer/former Gilbert Blythe. Goal: It was to try to get the Chicago PD to share information with regard to Trey Wagner's big drug deal, but when he emailed Det. John Ventimiglia about it, nothing happened. Sample Dialogue: "I don't mind saying, I was a little disappointed he didn't have the courtesy to respond."
R.I.P. Dr. Adrian Fluke's Debate Stand-In Career
When we saw you were played by Chris Elliott, we all had hopes that you would worm your way into a significant role in the Florrick campaign so that we could continue to enjoy you between Eagleheart seasons. But then you had to take your "glaucoma" "medicine" in the middle of debate prep and get all high and useless. Bye, Dr. Fluke! You were as trifling as Lily's dad on How I Met Your Mother after all.
Here's An Idea
Keep Your Mouth Shut
Alicia's been distracted from all this Cary business both due to her own (meager) interest in debate prep, and due to Eli's having straight-up ordered Diane to stop taking Alicia's calls so that Alicia can focus on (his) one thing. Which is how it happens that when she finally gets through to one person involved in Cary's situation, it's Cary, and she breathlessly demands to know what's going on with the effort to overturn his plea. Which is, of course, the first he's hearing about it. Even though Alicia obviously wasn't part of the discussion between Diane and Kalinda in which they decided not to tell Cary anything until they had more clarity, she seems to have intuited from Cary's ignorance that probably something like this had occurred, about ten seconds too late. Alicia: focus on Eli's one thing and let the professionals handle Cary.
DialogueYou know you only have four hours left, Counsellor?I do, Your Honour. It's very dramatic.Objection! The defense is trying to manipulate your affection for the dramatic, Your Honour!I know she is, Madam ASA, and yet, I do love the dramatic. Subpoena approved. And if I were you, Miss Lockhart, I would race out of this court right now!
That's So Metadata
Who called the meeting? Kalinda.
What's it about? Since Inspector Frazier told her that he never got an answer to his email to Detective John Ventimiglia, she wants to look at the metadata Diane subpoenaed and see if he actually did get it.
How'd it go? All signs point to Detective John Ventimiglia's not having read the email: it's marked "NEVER RECEIVED," and it went directly to his spam folder, which he has set to empty once a week. Kalinda is dismayed, and a call from Bill Kroft doesn't help.
That Quote"I'm getting him a hooker. You don't get down here, I'm getting on the phone with five hookers I know."- Bill Kroft -
Love, Hate & Everything In Between
I Wanna Fuck You Like A Political Animal
Dr. Fluke having been dismissed due to being totally baked, Marissa has apparently suggested that Finn come stand in for the original stand-in, and guess what? He's great. He knows exactly which buttons to push to make Alicia come alive (if you know what I mean, and I think you do), and their sparring is obviously foreplay, which Eli somehow doesn't notice at all even though Alicia's and Finn's hot pants are practically about to set their podiums on fire.
Writing Cheques Your Tight Butt Can't Cash
When Kalinda shows up, at Bill Kroft's request, to bang Cary super-hard and give him some memories to take with him into the joint, it doesn't quite start out as sexy as debate prep: they fight about her having kept him out of the loop on his plea situation, which she says they did because they didn't want to give him false hope, of which, by the way, that's the only kind he's going to have. Fortunately, she can still distract him from his troubles with her girl parts, which is the best thing for him. The worst thing for him? When she promises, "I won't disappear on you." Even he doesn't buy it, so she insists, "I'll be here." Uh, we know you won't, even if you don't. And even if we didn't know, we'd be pretty sure.
Does Not Compute
Alert Type: Nerd Alert.
Issue: The email from Inspector Frazier to Detective John Ventimiglia is starting to seem like the most effective avenue to proving a Brady violation in Cary's case...
Complicating Factors: ...even though all the actual evidence shows that Detective John Ventimiglia really didn't ever get it. So Kalinda's just wondering, hypothetically, if her computer-nerd buddy Howell knows how to make it look like Detective John Ventimiglia actually did get it, and read it.
Resolution: Even though Howell tells her that this is super-illegal, Kalinda says she still wants him to show her, and that if it gets serious, he can tell the truth: that she made him do it. So he does.
Spoiler: Most of the time, knowingly doing illegal things works out for Kalinda. Most of the time.
DialogueLook, you got a misconception about all this, from Oz and Shawshank. Where you're going, it's not like that. You're gonna be fine. Your first few months, and your last few months are the hardest.Anyone ever ask you about taking off?Yeah.What do you tell them?Problematic.Why?Where do you go? Two years goes faster than you think.Four years. You ever been to Spain?They have extradition. Look. You do what you want. But you're not built to be an outlaw.My whole life, I wanted to be one thing: a lawyer. And I had it. I had it-- I had it figured out: get to the top, take the cases I wanted, help the people I wanted. Now, I can't figure anything out.Look at me: don't do it.
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Alicia vs. Peter
So after Peter shows up and starts totally backseat-debate-prepping everything Finn says, Finn takes off, leaving Alicia to...ask Peter, awkwardly, to intervene on Cary's behalf. Peter says he can't, and Alicia's all, I'm sorry I asked, but when Peter takes over from Finn in the role of Fake Prady, she completely savages him, talking about corruption in the State's Attorney's office and specifically connecting him to it, assuring the (currently absent) voters that she is not her husband. Though Marissa is psyched to see Alicia kicking Peter's ass, Eli doesn't want Alicia to build herself up by tearing his other candidate down, so he gets on the God mic to call for a break. On his way to discuss this unwarranted break with Eli, Johnny leans in and whispers in Alicia's ear, "You just graduated. That was amazing." It actually is!
What Could Be More Dramatic Than A Plum Job Offer?
Who called the meeting? Bob Robertson, one of Peter's henchmen.
What's it about? The possibility of Cuesta getting a seat on the Illinois supreme court.
How'd it go? You know how Peter told Alicia he couldn't do anything to help Cary? Well, he actually could, and as he's literally in the process of telling her he can't, he's got his guy tying up Cuesta at a phony meeting so that he'll be late for Cary's sentencing hearing, buying time for Diane and Kalinda to get their evidence together. Unfortunately, Cuesta notices Bob ignoring a call from Peter and puts two and two together, and he is PISSED. "You tell the governor next time he calls? Go to hell. He was the most corrupt SA this county has ever seen, and now he's the most corrupt governor -- and that's saying something."
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Johnny vs. Eli
Johnny is gobsmacked that Eli would halt the debate just when Alicia was finally finding her groove, and they argue back and forth about who's supporting whom and for what reasons. Eli heatedly explains, "I'm worried about a marriage. You should be too." Johnny snaps, "Why don't you get the hell off of my campaign?!" and Eli coldly replies, "This is not. Your. Campaign." Well, there's nothing much else Johnny needs to say after that, so off he stomps. But where to...?
Winner: Eli, for now.
Wrap It Up
Oh man, Cuesta's on the motherfucking WARPATH now! He assumes that Diane was in on Peter's gambit, and basically says that Florrick Agos Lockhart is burned in his courtroom forever! He's also furious that Cary's not even there...
...which is of course Cary's cue to stride in, looking skinny and resigned! Diane announces that they've found a Brady violation, and Cuesta sneers that if they did, it's because they used shenanigans to delay! Diane asks whether she may approach to show him what she's got! "With great caution, Counsellor, as you would a lion in a cage!" DAAAAAAAAMN!
As Diane is approaching, Kalinda races in, excited to save Cary's bacon with proof of what Carey Zepps suspected: that Detective John Ventimiglia's old partner Kevin Rodriguez was excised from the transcript of DJV's interrogation of Trey Wagner because he wouldn't play ball! Except...
...what Diane's presenting is the shady fake metadata she pulled off Kalinda's computer! OH NOOOOOOOO!
Kalinda has to watch helplessly as DJV -- truthfully -- defends himself against the accusation that he ignored and then buried Inspector Frazier's email! Rodriguez enters just as Geneva presents his statement into evidence, confirming that Cary may have been a victim of entrapment! Geneva wants to re-try the case! Diane wants an immediate dismissal! What's Cuesta going to do?!
Well, he's going to apologize to Cary on behalf of the court! "This case is dismissed with prejudice"! Cary makes one of his dumbest faces yet!
In the midst of the celebration, Kalinda gets that call Bishop said she would! MAYBE SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE PROMISED CARY SHE'D BE AROUND!
Alicia's walking to her car when she gets the call from Diane about Cary's suit! She freaks out with joy and even whoops, attracting the attention of Johnny, walking to his own car! He asks if she's okay!
She's better than okay! She's fooooooine!