Eric McCandless / Freeform

Will Callie And Rita Patch It Up On The Fosters?

And more not-quite-burning questions about 'Minor Offenses.'

The Fosters can't quite get its rhythm this season, spending a few episodes dragging along with no advancing movement, and then leaping through the next few hours cutting out large chunks of time. Let's keep that second trend going, show: you've got so many people in your cast, it's what works right now. For example, Stef's genetic diagnosis and tortured decision to have a double mastectomy went on for weeks and...suddenly she's had the surgery and is ten days post-op. This is a very wise choice, I think, from a storytelling perspective: agonizing hospital scenes are a dime a dozen. Better to deal with the challenging realities of what comes next. Still, even in this state of fast-forward motion, I must slow down to ask a few questions.

What is going on with Monte and the student body president?

I am scared about what they're broadcasting about Monte's wide-eyed support of everything the beautiful African-American (sound familiar?) SGA president, Sally, wants to do. Lena is obviously uncomfortable, feeling an unnamed dread. Two terrible options present themselves: Sally is the one who tweeted the rumor about a Monte/Lena affair and is now blackmailing the principal; or Sally and Monte are having an affair. Oh, daaaamn, please don't let it be that last one. Don't let it be either of those, maybe?

I'll bite. What's Nick's deal?

I don't want to care about this old guy with his poorly-disguised Australian accent. Of all the Brandon Walshes in the world, he's the Brandon Walshiest. But since they're trying to convince us that Mariana is going to fall for his "my dad is mean and thus I am troubled and sexy" line, I suppose I must. It would be easier if he would lose his dumb car and matching hat. At least Mariana is staying true to her rules-following smarty nature and will not play with that drag racing BS. Oh, hell no.

Is post-op Stef even more badass than before?

Maybe she's in pain and thus less willing to hold back, but Stef is bringing the maternal power in big ways and small all night. From her "You know I'm a cop, right?" to Nick as he picks up Mariana, to her unflinching insistence that the twins stay away from Gabe, to her straightforward but empathetic court intervention on behalf of Ty, she is amazing. The best, however, is her reminding Callie that being someone's daughter means getting the stuffing mommed out of you just when you think you're riding high.

Will Callie and Rita patch it up?

Maia Mitchell and Rosie O'Donnell should consider developing some projects together. They have the chemistry necessary to elevate what are otherwise long passages of factual exposition about the foster system, which could seriously get boring but never does when it's these two talking about it. I feel like there is an anti-Rosie camp out there, and I guess I understand the reasons, but I love her. While Callie has been farting around with all this Fost&Found stuff, getting played like a violin by the snake-like Justina, she has not only missed her shot to do her senior project on Rita, but she may have finally driven a wedge between herself and one of her biggest champions. Rita, ever patient with Callie's many, MANY boneheaded choices, seems worn out by Callie's know-it-all and insulting attitude about the privatization debate. But maybe forging a peace between them is still possible?

Am I supposed to care about any of the potential romances on offer?

Because I don't. I mean, I guess it would be interesting to see how a teenage boy handles dating a girl with a kid, but...ugh, not if the teenage boy is Brandon. I'm currently pretending this whole (impossible) storyline with him working in a piano bar is not even happening. Good Lord, have a normal relationship sometime. Not that this young woman is damaged goods, but she's older than Brandon and has a life to live; why would she bother, especially after that embarrassing little song he sings to her? She seems unimpressed, and she should be. She says she doesn't have time to date, and that is obviously true. Also, she's boring. And her child is too big to be three or how ever old he's supposed to be. And I don't like his bowl cut.

Meanwhile, Jesus and Lexi, Callie and Tom, and Mariana and Nick: eh. All seem to be on the back burner and I am fine with it.

What's going to happen with Ana and Gabe?

Now that we know that Gabe was on the sex offender registry "just" for having sex with Ana when she was fifteen, I assume we will soon see Ana and Gabe reunited, throwing the twins into some kind of tug-of-war between their two families. I'm cautiously optimistic about that, but it could get into a bad "we've always needed a dad" place and that makes me nervous. The whole adoptee reunion thing can be very fraught and I don't know if it's necessary for the show to smooth over yet another bad history. But we can only wait and see!

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