Screens: ABC Family

The Fosters Gets Its Day In Court

Callie makes her choice, but Al Lowe still has questions between her tears.

Well. I started crying almost immediately. I KNOW. I was so mad last week -- so mad -- but, they worked some magic, did they not? Okay, so the creators of the show tweeted last week, after the screeches of two million ninth-graders knocked out the power in several major cities, that if we could just hang on after the Brallie sexing, all of the pieces would fall together in a satisfying way for every fan. And, by God, they almost did it. I mean, Callie was adopted, which is what I ultimately cared about most, and even though there were a few BS moments -- the foster kid chorus waiting in the courtroom; Carmen going back to juvie; Brandon and Callie rather quickly accepting the technical truth that Callie was not an Adams Foster foster kid at the time of their doing it, NEW JESUS -- I was glad about that.

Then again, adoptions are not immediately final (unless they are in the world of TV), and you know, what if Callie has a pregnancy scare? I know you were thinking it, too. That's just one of the questions I have about what is to come, and though we will have to wait until the show comes back in...whenever it comes back in this weird ABC Family schedule, the rest of my Qs are as follows.

Will Monte leave town?

Because she for real needs to go. Lady, if you are not interested in breaking up a marriage, as you say, keep ya damn hands off someone else's wife. It's just not that necessary to reveal your true feelings to someone when you know damn well she is not free to get busy! Right, yes, Lena was not 100% hating the attention, as she fully admitted to Stef, but let us not kid ourselves: this Joanie-Come-Lately coming off her own personal drama and creeping around the henhouse is the worst kind of vampire and I cannot wait for Stef to affix her in the lesbian Manson lamps of rage. That being said, Annika Marks is REAL cute and I hope to see the actress in something else where I don't have to hate her so much.

Will Connor return to town? And, when he does, will he have a new boyfriend?

Bless Connor's dad's heart -- they have put that character together very well. He really has seemed to be doing the best he could do, and it was C+ work, at best. Now Connor wants to go explore his new identity at his mom's house. I am not sure why he feels he will be more accepted there, and I shudder to think of the devastation to my sinuses if he breaks Jude's heart in the process. And, yet, it would be a perfectly natural thing to happen and probably a valuable scenario to see played out.

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Will Mariana and Hot Mat get back together?

Because what about Hot Mat?! I know I can't have everything, but...he's so cute! I love Mariana so much for granting herself forgiveness for her very stupid behavior. It seemed to happen a bit hastily, and I hope she learned some actual lessons from it about not using sex and attention from boys as a drug to make herself feel better when things don't go her way, but it will be difficult to get me off Team Mariana, no matter what. Some drawn-out thing in the back half of the season where she's trying to get Mat back rather than noticing the bazillion other fish in the sea will be dumb, and yet...Hot Mat.

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Was Stef telling the truth about that mammogram? Either way, is the marriage back on solid ground?

I sure as hell hope so, on both parts. I was so moved by the moment in the garage where Stef and Lena clung to each other before saying the things they had to say. Sometimes it feels like Teri Polo and Sherri Saum might be a little bit in love with each other, and who could blame either of them? I am sort of in love with both of them, too.

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Brallie.

I don't even know how to phrase a question about what will possibly happen with Brandon and Callie from here on out. They love each other. They had sex. They are now legally siblings. It's weird, but it's not like they are blood-related. Both of them will be eighteen in, like, a week. I suppose things could happen in adulthood that could be regarded as acceptable at some point, though...it will still be gross. If there is a pregnancy scare or, God help us, an actual pregnancy, I think I will take my TV down to the lake, glide it gently into the mouth of an alligator, and call forth a swarm of bats to descend upon its carcass. That, sirs, will be a step farther than too far. Please understand that though I seem to be all forgiveness-y right now, I haven't forgotten those PORN tweets that were like, "hashtag celebrate family!" as the image froze on Callie's "O" face. I'm still so mad about the tweets. Anyway, Callie's "that is all over" to the judge at the adoption hearing in re her lust for Brandon sounds fairly firm...but we have heard that before, and I will not rest comfortably until she is in the arms of AJ (or somebody else, or nobody). Which leads me to ask:

And what of the B-team?

Rita seems to be off the hook, and the troublemakers of GU are back in juvie. We haven't seen Sophia and Robert in a while, and I can only assume some craziness will jump off there. Maybe Sophia will end up in GU! Wow, that would be a Scared Straight situation I would love to see. Meanwhile, I remain nervous about the potential storyline of AJ's brother and the car accident, and how Mike will navigate that in his role as a foster dad. I almost wish Old Jesus had come back, just to watch Jake T. Austin in scenes with AJ. Would they put each other to sleep with their deadpan acting styles? Now we'll never know. It remains to be seen how Noah Centineo will work out, but the producers were wise to take our advice and get his hair up to the standards befitting a Latin lover. And now we have heard that Jesus's big success at boarding school was apparently all for naught. He whispered to Mariana that he can't go back, we assume because of grades, and I wonder what they'll do with him now. It will be interesting, perhaps, to see how he interacts with Ana's family.

Also: what of Wyatt? I reiterate my annoyance that this show just lets Wyatt hang in the breeze like they do. Isn't he homeless? Doesn't he need a foster dad? Maybe he and AJ can become roomates. That wouldn't be awkward at all.

In the end, high as I am riding from seeing Callie's adoption go through (tainted though it was from the Brandon encounter), I'm fully aware we have quite a bit of season left to go before it's done and know they could easily stab me in the heart with any number of shenanigans. Let us hope for the best. See you on the flip!

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