Screens: CTW

Having Your Cake and Mooning It Too

Blame the Children's Television Workshop for the fact that people in Brooklyn are smashing cakes with their bare asses in the name of art.

There's something happening in Brooklyn. It's called "sploshing." Some might call it art, others might call it a fetish, and author Monique Truong might call it "rebellion." I call it "ruining a perfectly good dessert with bare asses."

First of all, I don't care if it makes me an uncouth philistine with no appreciation for the art of getting fondant all up in one's business, but there's so much WTF and EW and OMG BROOKLYN in Charlotte Druckman's Paris Review piece that I don't even know where to begin. Should I start with this quote: "A few of them stuck their fingers into their cushions and tasted"? Or maybe remind people that crumbs get everywhere -- EVERYWHERE -- which means that those with gluten sensitivities should be especially careful? ...Should I even note that buttercream seems far and away the most appropriate frosting here?

No, let's just leave all of that and instead address where artist Martha Burgess really got her inspiration for her communal performance project, "Cake Sit." Of course, Druckman may cite literary precedence for this particular act that makes me regard Moonpies in a totally new light, but I challenge Burgess to come clean and admit that "Cake Sit" is an homage to a classic episode of The Electric Company.

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In this particular installment of The Electric Company's "Super Spidey Stories," Spider-Man investigates why people are mysteriously getting their frozen treats ruined by a big, furry butt. Turns out there's this rogue Yeti who, in the throes of reverse seasonal affective disorder, has been bare-assing Creamsicles and Push-Ups all over town out of homesickness.

Now, not to ruin a childhood memory even more than I'm ruining your future cake experiences, but I did always think there was something...off? About the way the Yeti sort of nestles into his ice cream cones. But in light of Truong's explanation to Druckman -- "People, she explained, sit on cakes and get off on it" -- far more than just Burgess's artistic inspiration has been made clear here. Way too clear, actually.

Take care, my friends, because a performance piece called "The Wall" could be coming soon to ruin a Mets game near you.

I am not a crackpot.