Camila Shows Her Ass On The Challenge Reunion
Literally and figuratively, but it's nothing you haven't seen before. What to watch, what to skip as the Invasion wraps for the season.
Overview And Winner's Circle
It's always nice for this viewer to "reunite" with the Miz, who's a little fakey but miles better than the hosts the network usually coughs up for these things. But even he can't bring much interest to the top of the show, which is spent reviewing the concept of the season; reviewing the results and asking "ESPN lady sideline reporter"-type pablum questions about how it feels to blah blah whatever.
Depending on how you feel about Amanda -- the enemy of my Camila is my friend, so I'm basically pro -- you may find a worthwhile bit towards the end when she's asked who she respects among the champs, and notes that it's "definitely not [Camila]."
Don't Hate Nicole, Hate The Game
Cara Maria wastes a few minutes of our lives trying to rewrite a history vis-a-vis flirting with Nicole that nobody really even cares about in the first place because Nicole and Laurel have been together for five months. Nicole admits that, while Cara and Laurel were both still on the show, it came down to "which one's gonna bite the bait?", a not-unreasonable approach to the situation that nevertheless gets an "ohhhhhh" from the assembled, I guess because she's a woman? Shut up, dated sexual mores.
Miz asks Laurel what changed as far as her willingness to date ladies. Laurel tearily explains that, when Diem passed, it hit her hard, and she vowed to do the things she was afraid to do. But that sweet note isn't allowed much sustain, as the segment devolves in short order into a hurt-feeling shouting match between Cara and Laurel that we've seen in all its infinite variations on pretty much every reunion show they've both appeared in: after the show, Cara has traditional-friendship expectations Laurel, being Laurel, can't meet; Laurel shouts; Cara shouts back while trying to explain to Laurel how Laurel hurt her feelings; and Laurel makes "have...you met me?" faces and announces that they don't speak.
The bone of contention this time, I think, is that Laurel didn't tell Cara that she and Nicole had started dating -- and blocked Cara on Nicole's phone, like Nicole can't just undo that (and also this isn't really an issue Laurel's having with Cara, but okay?) -- but these two are functionally sisters at this point and everything will have long settled down by next season.
Off The Hook-Ups
I guess it's possible for me to care less about Cory's mash montage, but I'd have to be in a coma. I'm not particularly interested in revisiting the Jenna/Bruno plane-blanket controversy either, though I'm intrigued by Jenna's vague "there's a lot to it," meaning the story. Like...what? How complicated could it be? You went to third or you didn't. As Amanda wails, "Own it, who cares!"
Finally, Jenna does own it, and then we have to endure a dadly lecture from the Miz re: Jenna needing to stop wasting her time on Zach, but it's worth it for 1) Laurel's rant about how a guy treats you "when you're just in private" versus to the rest of the world, and 2) CT's plaintive "can we stop SAYING that?!" about the term "fingerbanged."
Kailah, meanwhile, is lying in the high weeds for Cory, which is sad, and is trying to make a nuanced point about the fact that, while she understands that he didn't promise her anything, and it's a game, and she has a boyfriend now, she's still allowed to feel hurt by Cory's callousness at that moment, and that's also sad. That she's trying to make a nuanced point, I mean. Not the time, girl.
Then Amanda can't wait to call Camila a ho for boning Vince last year, like that isn't its own punishment; and Hunter and his disgusting hair get piiiiiiissed when it's revealed that Ashley frenched Nelson -- not at Ashley, because he expects no better from her and "a female can be replaced at any time," but at Nelson, because he's Hunter's boy. Shut up, Hunter.
Amanda's like, just say you're sorry and squash it, but Nelson squawks, "No!" I don't know why that made me like him, but it did, because he's right: Hunter didn't care about Ashley so any apology is pointless and fake.
The flashback to the prank isn't any more interesting or clarifying than the dust-up that ensues between Camila and Amanda, although Amanda gets points for noting that Camila started it because "Camila needs her airtime to do the Camilanator every season." True, we have to deduct those points right back for Amanda getting sucked into it when she should know better, then, and for using the "pull up her fuckin' Twitter" defense, but it's hard for me to get too mad at these responses to Camila's twerking:
Camila steps to Amanda, security takes the stage, and CT's exhausted "sit down, bro" to Camila speaks for us all.
In The Matter Of Dumb v. Dumber
I was sort of looking forward to revisiting that Cory/Nelson/Shane Fortress and finding out what was supposed to have happened...but I don't have any better idea than I did before, as the camera elects to stay mostly on Bananas as he pontificates about Cory needing to learn to play the game or it'll play him, blah blee bloo.
But Nelson kicks things up a notch by announcing that Cory wouldn't even have been there without him; Cory takes serious exception to this and comes down from his row to square off with Cory; security takes the stage again; and Cory blares, "Don't you ever discount what I do!" Okay! What...is it that you do, exactly? Have a gym bod and no other job prospects?
Bugs And Rashes And Farts, Oh My
"When you think your shit don't stink, I'm gonna fart on your ass." Darrell, you are a philosopher for our times. (He makes sure to say that his number-one fartee was Amanda. Heh.)
The rest of the segment is Bananas's foot anti-fetish; dick flicks received during a Thai massage; how many bug bites people got at the shelter; and a Champs vs. Pros preview. Pasadena.
Just enough good parts -- and rivetingly terrible outfits -- to make it worthwhile, but keep a thumb on the FF button.