The Blacklist Nose What's Up!
What does an eco-terrorist have to do with getting Liz's baby back? Almost nothing!
Have you been hoping all season that you'd get to see a guy pull a long, bloody scrap of gauze out of his own nose? This week, you finally get your wish! It doesn't have that much to do with the actual storyline, but it sure is disgusting to watch!
While Liz/Masha busies herself with sorting through the evidence she pilfered from the FBI, Alexander Kirk video-calls her. Liz asks if Agnes is okay. Kirk says she's safe, but then shows her in a crib filled with blankets and toys. You idiot! That's not what an infant's crib is supposed to look like. Haven't you ever heard of SIDS? Ugh, that shit drives me crazy. Anyway, there's an upside to all this baby nonsense: it's finally galvanizing Liz into action. So thank goodness for small favors.
Liz debriefs the Task Force about this week's Blacklist-er, a "stealth eco-terrorist known only as Gaia." Now, once again, no one explains why she's debriefing them and why all of their vast resources are being focused on finding Alexander Kirk and Liz's baby. There's no real explanation why the FBI remains interested in this. Also, Red's not working for the Task Force and Liz shouldn't be working with the Task Force, and yet, for another week, all three of those camps are in alignment on a mission. Sure, makes perfect sense.
Gaia drops Heart Attack Pills (patent pending) into drinks of the people he needs to murder so he can enact his plan, but what is that plan? It's very complicated and involves sabotaging various energy concerns. With the help of Glen -- possibly The Blacklist's most entertaining recurring character -- Red, Dembe, and Liz find Gaia's hideout hippie school bus in the woods. Eventually, the Task Force pieces together that Gaia, who resembles a poor man's Adam Levine, wants to re-create the Fukushima disaster on the Hudson.
In the ongoing saga of What Happened To Mr. Kaplan, she's now recuperating in a cabin, in what appears to be a gender-swapped Misery reboot. Upon closer inspection, her gunshot wound appears to be a non-life-threatening flesh wound on the side of her cheek. Given Red's expertise in killing people, how in the world did he miss Mr. Kaplan so badly? With full knowledge that I'm prone to conspiracy theories about this show, I offer the theory that Red actually meant to wing Mr. Kaplan. Seems preposterous, doesn't it? That's exactly why it will probably end up being true.
So, how Blacklist-y is this episode of The Blacklist? If only there were some way of judging that. Wait: there is!
|Liz is alive, but she's totally still boring, right?||For the first time since maybe the first season, Liz actually uses her skill as a profiler! Remember? She's supposed to be good at that.|
|Stupid government agents! Always ruining everything!||The literal government agents don't, but Tom really screws stuff up with regard to saving Agnes. After promising Liz not to try to trace the video feed from Agnes's nursery wherever Kirk is, Tom tries to go save her anyway. His mission doesn't succeed, except in the case of making Kirk angry. Oh yeah, and Liz too.|
|Red is one step ahead of everyone at all times!||Red shows how resourceful he is, but doesn't seem to have a leg up on anyone.|
|This Blacklist-er should totally be on Red's list!||Can't see any particular reason why Gaia wouldn't be on a normal FBI list.|
|Convenience? Schmonvenience!||The Task Force gets tipped that Gaia arrived at a gas pipeline facility in Newark less than an hour ago. Samar and Ressler rush to the scene (216 miles away, four hours by car or one hour by plane) and Gaia -- world's slowest eco-terrorist, apparently -- is still there.|
|Red's hat symbolizes his cool mastery of his surroundings!||Red wears a hat, but it doesn't seem to offer him any advantages. Which is so weird, right?|
|Dialog by ClichéBot 3000||"I Googled Aram's new girlfriend," Ressler says. "Why?" Samar replies. "Why do guys do anything," he says. "To see if she was hot. Which she is."|
|Something deadly/dangerous is given a name equally suited to a weird sex move||Look, it's complicated to explain, but basically Operation Tomodachi involves one partner pretending to be the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant damaged by earthquake and tsunami and the other partner is the U.S. Navy called in to evacuate the area. I know it doesn't make sense. Like I said, it's complicated.|
|We get one more crumb about Red's obsession with Liz||We might be at the end of this mystery. Doesn't feel like there's anything but crumbs left.|
|4 / 9
Mr. Kaplan's Misery