Photo: Trae Patton / NBC

Hitting The Road (And The Road Hits Back)

The Biggest Loser travel curse strikes again.

Well, we didn't see Ruben Studdard this week -- to my genuine surprise, as the remaining Losers traveled to Park City, UT to get inspiration from (read: "be politely bored by"...or maybe that was me) Olympic athletes like Apolo Ohno and Lolo Jones. I'm going to have a Munchian conspiracy-theory moment and wonder if perhaps the Jennie-O turkey sponsorship has something to do with the fact that only Olympians with many "O"s in their names got to talk (Lolo's bobsled-team teammate just stood there smiling uncomfortably).

Bob noted several times that traveling means "plussing" for TBL contestants, because it throws off their schedules -- and sure enough, that's what happened, as well as a fairly excited curling-based challenge amidst all the speechifying about how Rachel is now basically a Marvel superhero thanks to improved mental toughness. But did the "away" episode throw off the show's rhythms too?

Biggest Loser-Y Element Present?
Workout Vom No.
Treadmauled During a piggyback workout sequence, Marie slides off Bobby's back. Her subsequent lifting of a man twice her size and keel-hauling him to the finish line should probably disqualify this element from a "yes," but it's the spirit of the slapstick, not the letter.
Medic! Looked promising because of the altitude, but nay.
A Contestant's Child Is Criminally Cute Can't bring myself to count the same footage of Jay's kid from last week.
The Ruben Holley Rachel LLP Past-Glory Reclamation Project I like Rachel, but I feel like we may spend too much time with her and her issues around quitting swimming -- especially now that she's a size 8 at this point, and won both challenges last night. Still, her moment of excitement at walking down a plane aisle "without touching ANYTHING" on either side of her with her body is cute.
Motivational Needlepoint Pillow Of The Week Respect to Dolvett coining the phrase "goosebumps-driven," but this week the keeper belongs to Jillian, telling Jennifer to get out of her head about the box jump: "You've gotta tell a new story, sweetheart."
"Snif!" -- the viewer Tumi is shown at home, trying on wedding dresses at last. Awww. Later, Jillian tells Jennifer, softly but almost impatiently, "I gotta tell ya, you're pretty awesome," and Jennifer just loses it. Awww!
"Snif!" -- a trainer/Alison Looks of gentle concern, no more.
Bob And Jennie-O, Sittin' In A Tree Oh my God, Bob is pregnant with little Jennie-Os all OVER this bitch. He's a pro, but it's seriously two whole segments.
Weight Gain My notes read "Jen 0 guess we'll count it," but I didn't need to; Jay posted a plus-1, followed by Bobby -- of whose early-in-the-week emotional binge much was made -- posting a two-bagger. Those two bros land in the bottom, and after much gnashing of teeth, Bobby is deemed in need of more time, and Jay and his hat head home.
Shop The Alison Our girl's styling the outerwear, first at the bobsled challenge with a chartreuse slim puffer, then with a white peacoat with sparkly buttons at the weigh-in.
Stop The Jillian We've seen worse, but the blue tie-dye-ish leggings at the Last Chance Workout, yuck.
Current "Contestant Primed To Emerge As Hottie" Pick All Jay and his long hair this week; honorable mention to Marie
8 / 12
Final Score
The Biggest Loser
An extended trailer for NBC's Sochi Olympics coverage
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