Screen: NBC

Over; Caffeinated

Jillian bones her team with unauthorized supplements, and a past Loser returns.

The challenge of the week is a cook-off; the cook-off is never very interesting, but it does give Holley Mangold the opportunity to pull faces and say things like, "Ya...ay?"

But as much as I enjoy the Holl-arity, it's a strange episode of The Biggest Loser. "The Cookoff" had a couple major headlines, like Tanya missing a full day of workouts thanks to an illness that isn't specified (probably because it's dehydration and exhaustion; not great optics for a production frequently accused of pushing contestants to an unsafe degree), then rising from her sickbed to go for a walk and post a big-time comeback number at the weigh-in. The really big one is Jillian breaking the rules by giving the White team caffeine supplements without a doctor's okay, which saddles White with a four-pound disadvantage at weigh-in and invalidates the previous results -- so the Blues have immunity once again, and Ruben, though not seen in person, is reinstated as a contestant.

Now, I was bummed Ruben went home so I'm stoked he's back, but I also said last week that his ouster made it less likely the game is rigged...and now I'm wondering whether this Caffeinegate whatever wasn't ginned up to get Big Daddy back in the game. Why isn't there footage of this? More to the larger point, why did we spend so much time with kid ambassador Biingo and his mom, and The Great-Tasting Brita Water Radio Hour, and so little on Tanya's medical issues and Jillian's screwing over of her own team? Nothing against the Beat Cancer Boot Camp ladies, but the five minutes of airtime we spent re-hearing David's story is time the editors could have used on the real stories of the ep.

And nobody whaled him- or herself in the foot with a ten-pounder, either. Was anything about last night's Biggest Loser typical?

Biggest Loser-Y Element Present?
Workout Vom Nope.
Treadmauled Low-T Craig confronted his fear of drowning, which 1) is great, 2) totally meant he was toast, in retrospect, and 3) doesn't count because he breaststroked like a boss.
Medic! I could count Tanya, I guess, but she shook it off and we didn't see a doctor.
A Contestant's Child Is Criminally Cute This isn't "cute," and I really don't know why NBC left it in, but Biingo's lengthy belch after judging the cook-off is effing classic -- especially the part where he tags on that one last [urp] at the end. Hee! Put it on the board.
The Ruben Holley Rachel LLP Past-Glory Reclamation Project Holley is hilarious; Ruben is back in the game; and after Jennifer speaks admiringly of Rachel's drivenness, Rachel posts the biggest number of the week for the Reds.
Motivational Needlepoint Pillow Of The Week Holley's a contender with her on-point comment about disguising veggies with meat and cheese, but Craig snatches victory on the way out the door with "Everybody got a time. Tonight's my time."
"Snif!" -- the viewer When the BCBC lady said, "We're really glad you're here, David." Aw.
"Snif!" -- a trainer/Alison You'd think Jillian could squeeze a tear, but: no.
Bob And Jennie-O, Sittin' In A Tree "Great-tasting Brita water": The Biggest Loser :: "the beautiful Georgina Chapman" : Project Runway All-Stars
Weight Gain Another editing lapse sort of failed to explain how it is that they haven't weighed in for two weeks -- or maybe I'm just dumb/forgetting something; it happens -- but everybody's putting up Week-1-stylee numbers.
Shop The Alison She's just okay this week, but since I'd take Dolvett's ring off him in a hot second, I'll yes it.
Stop The Jillian Nothing egregious, though if she thinks "I stand by my opinion" that a caffeine pill is better than "unlimited amounts of coffee" is related to "I'm sorry" in any way, she needs to go back to the apology store and get a real one. Who said they should drink gallons of coffee? Since when is giving overweight people who may have blood-pressure and cholesterol issues, and who work out to the point of petechial hemorrhage all day, a stimulant an awesome idea?
Current "Contestant Primed To Emerge As Hottie" Pick David's back in the lead
6 / 12
Final Score
50%
The Biggest Loser
50%
the L'Oreal Paris makeup roo
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