The Bachelor Introduces Ben's Ladies; We've Got Your 'Class' Superlatives
What high school-style awards would we dole out to the latest class of contestants on The Bachelor?
The Bachelor will be returning next month for its TWENTIETH season (ugh), which means there's a brand-new crop of "ladies" looking for "love" with Bachelor XX Ben Higgins. We're awarding them superlatives based solely on their job descriptions and/or photos, because, come on, they're asking for it.
Most Likely To Think Old People Are "Cute"
Jackie, 23, gerontologist.
Most Likely To Shame Canada
Jami, 23, bartender, from St. Albert, Alberta.
Three-way tie among Jubilee, 24, war veteran, Tiara, 26, "chicken enthusiast," and Lace, 25, real estate agent.
Tie between Lauren R., 26, math teacher, and Shushanna, 27, mathematician.
Most Absurd Listed Profession
Tiara, 26, "chicken enthusiast!" Remember back when we thought "dog lover" was the stupidest possible job description allowable on this show? Ah, how I long for those days! Simpler times!
Rachel, 23, unemployed!
Most Likely To Flirt With The Bachelor By Relying Heavily On Incest Innuendo
Emily and Haley, 22, twins.
Most Likely To Have Long Blonde Hair Extensions
Ten-way tie among Leah, Samantha, Lauren H., Lauren B., Amanda K., Amanda S., Emily, Haley, Becca, and Tiara.
Most Likely To Have Long Brunette Hair Extensions
Ten-way tie among Jackie, Rachel, Isabel, Caila, Lauren R., Shushanna, Joelle, Jessica, Lauren "LB," and Jennifer.
Most Likely To Go By 'Lauren B.'
Tie between Lauren B., 25, flight attendant, and Lauren "LB," whose last name ALSO starts with a B, 23, fashion buyer.
Three-way tie among Amber, bartender; Breanne, nutritional therapist; and Maegan, "cowgirl," all 30. SO OLD.
Most Willing To Show Up For Her Bachelor Photo Shoot In A Skating Costume
Caila, 23, software sales assistant.
Most Unafraid To Wear Flesh-Colored Pants That Make It Look Like She Is Wearing No Pants At All In Her Bachelor Photo
Lauren R., 26, math teacher.
Jessica, 23, accountant.
Least Likely To Have Learned Her Lesson, Already
Two-way tie between Becca, 26, chiropractic assistant, and the aforementioned Amber, a veteran of both Chris's season AND Bachelor In Paradise.