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The Bachelor Introduces Ben's Ladies; We've Got Your 'Class' Superlatives

What high school-style awards would we dole out to the latest class of contestants on The Bachelor?

The Bachelor will be returning next month for its TWENTIETH season (ugh), which means there's a brand-new crop of "ladies" looking for "love" with Bachelor XX Ben Higgins. We're awarding them superlatives based solely on their job descriptions and/or photos, because, come on, they're asking for it.

Most Likely To Think Old People Are "Cute"


Jackie, 23, gerontologist.

Most Likely To Shame Canada


Jami, 23, bartender, from St. Albert, Alberta.

Silliest Name


Three-way tie among Jubilee, 24, war veteran, Tiara, 26, "chicken enthusiast," and Lace, 25, real estate agent.



Tie between Lauren R., 26, math teacher, and Shushanna, 27, mathematician.

Most Absurd Listed Profession


Tiara, 26, "chicken enthusiast!" Remember back when we thought "dog lover" was the stupidest possible job description allowable on this show? Ah, how I long for those days! Simpler times!

Most Honest


Rachel, 23, unemployed!

Most Likely To Flirt With The Bachelor By Relying Heavily On Incest Innuendo


Emily and Haley, 22, twins.

Most Likely To Have Long Blonde Hair Extensions


Ten-way tie among Leah, Samantha, Lauren H., Lauren B., Amanda K., Amanda S., Emily, Haley, Becca, and Tiara.

Most Likely To Have Long Brunette Hair Extensions


Ten-way tie among Jackie, Rachel, Isabel, Caila, Lauren R., Shushanna, Joelle, Jessica, Lauren "LB," and Jennifer.

Most Likely To Go By 'Lauren B.'


Tie between Lauren B., 25, flight attendant, and Lauren "LB," whose last name ALSO starts with a B, 23, fashion buyer.

Most Ancient


Three-way tie among Amber, bartender; Breanne, nutritional therapist; and Maegan, "cowgirl," all 30. SO OLD.

Most Willing To Show Up For Her Bachelor Photo Shoot In A Skating Costume


Caila, 23, software sales assistant.

Most Unafraid To Wear Flesh-Colored Pants That Make It Look Like She Is Wearing No Pants At All In Her Bachelor Photo


Lauren R., 26, math teacher.



Jessica, 23, accountant.

Least Likely To Have Learned Her Lesson, Already


Two-way tie between Becca, 26, chiropractic assistant, and the aforementioned Amber, a veteran of both Chris's season AND Bachelor In Paradise.


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