Screen: FX; Mole Enhancement: David T. Cole

Things That Mole on Keri Russell’s Lip Will Be Doing Until the Next Season of The Americans

  • brushing up on its Russian dialects
  • working as a nipple on an American Apparel mannequin
  • stunt work for Cindy Crawford’s mole
  • hiring a PR firm to dispel all of those unfortunate “pimple” rumors
  • hanging out on your keyboard -- mostly on the J-key, but sometimes on the F-key
  • filling in for the MUTE button on the remote control
  • hiding in a bowl of Dippin’ Dots
  • spending some quality time as an improperly used apostrophe in internet comment threads
  • workshopping its open mic stand-up set, which is honestly mostly “period” jokes and outdated references to The Mole
  • subbing for the bouncing ball in a sing-along bar
  • I don’t know, journaling maybe? Or The Artist’s Way?
  • trying to get side work as the bullet in the Archer opening credits
  • continuing to stand in the way of Keri Russell’s jazz trumpet career
  • pranking the genitals of teenage health clinic patients
  • just sitting there, totally being the letter “A” in Braille. Like no big whoop.
  • maybe growing out its hair (singular) for the summer
  • stopping for a moment at the end of a declarative statement
  • dreaming of one day growing up to become one of those big red buttons on The Voice
  • reading the Hunger Games trilogy, because like EVERYONE else already has, right?

Photo: Leon Brocard; Illustration: David T. Cole

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