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The Amazing Race Throws A Big Fat Chaotic Wedding

During the season’s second India leg, The Amazing Race throws an unexpected twist at the final five, but in some cases, the bigger obstacles to victory are the very folks these people have chosen to run the race with.

Trusting Your Gut...And Having Your Gut Betray You

Nobody's particularly shocked to learn that the race is staying in India for one more leg; after all, it's been an exciting enough country that it's shown up in ten other seasons of the show over the past fifteen years. What IS shocking, though, is that the first clue of the day warns of yet another U-Turn. There have never been three in a season before, you see, and if anybody can attest to that fact, it's the man who's seen every season three times, and who's departing first this week, as per usual.

Justin and Diana observe that if they win the next two legs, they'll break the record for most wins by a single team in a season. Diana doesn't care about breaking the record as much as she cares about winning a million dollars, though. As they pile into a tuk-tuk bound for the Roadblock, Justin talks a little smack about Chris and Logan, who annoyed everyone with their pot-stirring last week and may have just earned themselves a spot on that U-Turn board for the privilege.

Karma's gotten a piece of Chris, already, though; he notes that, overnight, he was stricken with a little bit of the old Delhi belly, which ought to make things tougher this leg. Seems like there's quite a bit of #SevereGastrointestinalDistress going around this week. Hope all stricken parties have availed themselves of ginger ale and crackers, or whatever local equivalent they can scare up.

Blowing Things Out Of Proportion

This week's Roadblock asks, "Who's full of hot air?," and you can say what you like about Justin, but the guy IS self-aware enough to admit it's him without any hesitation. The objective is to inflate a large number of balloons, pack them into a giant net, and then deliver them via bike to a wedding venue a short distance away. There's a fairly large crowd (and several baboons) watching the proceedings, which gives this otherwise tedious task a little bit of energy. Also, everyone pops at least half a dozen balloons, which makes them even more tense and jumpy than they were coming into this leg.

Logan's so insistent that she be the one to do the Roadblock that she won't even let Chris see the clue, though this doesn't keep him from armchair-quarterbacking the whole thing. In confessionals, Production asks all the couple teams some awkward questions about the fact that they're going to a wedding, so doesn't this make them want to put a ring on it already? Something about tedious physical labor and lots of sudden loud noises is kind of ruining the romantic mood for the paparazzi, not to mention the fact that Chris is about the same color as the concrete wall behind him and barely able to stand up.

James Earl and Denise are some distance behind the other teams, though at least there are other teams still at the Roadblock by the time they arrive. They both seem to feel like it's a foregone conclusion that the other one is "full of hot air."

The transportation phase of the Roadblock is fairly dull for most of the racers, save Tiffany. She's the target of a lot of unwanted attention from passersby, one of whom reaches out to grab at her and winds up tearing her net wide open, scattering balloons to the four winds. Her Staten Island origins are never more apparent than when she exclaims, "Oh my gawwwwd, why would you dooooo that?"

Ride Or Die

Whatever time Tiffany lost due to her broken balloon net, it apparently didn't affect her placement or compel her to go back and do it again; the next shot shows her collecting her clue as if she'd rolled up with a full net full of balloons.

Justin and Diana's next stop is not the Detour, as they expected, but the U-Turn board. As they discussed at the top of the hour, they U-Turn Logan and Chris, though their cited reason is not one they've discussed much: they're honoring a bargain they evidently struck with the cheerleaders and reporters between legs. The news that the green team deployed the U-Turn utterly delights Joey and Kelsey, who decide that this makes Justin and Diana trustworthy after all.

Now it's on to the Detour: "Bring The Groom" requires teams to start up a generator and carry an "electric candelabra" as part of a traditional Hindu wedding procession. (At least all of these teams know what a candelabra is, which has not historically been true on this program.) In "Bring The fun," teams transport a carnival ride to that same wedding, and hipster couples everywhere immediately abandon their plans for mason jar cocktails and color-coordinated candy tables and start looking up where they can get one of these things. Joey and Kelsey elect to Bring The Groom, which turns out to be the far more physically taxing task; over at Bring The Fun, Justin and Diana are moving along at a good clip, and they finish the task in a fantastic mood.

Logan and Chris are predictably dismayed to learn they've been U-Turned. It sucks, says Logan; Chris retorts, "Honey, no more sucks, just do it." Elsewhere, it's fully dark by the time James Earl finishes the Roadblock, though he and Denise are powering through.

"Try not to stick out," Tiffany warns Krista as the two electric-green-clad, smoking hot women traverse a crowd that's 90% leering men and 10% rowdy kids. They try to engage with the kids, but at a certain point they're overwhelmed. Kids are everywhere, actually: partying with Justin and Diana, running alongside the reporters' wedding parade, and chasing every team to the Pit Stop.

Justin and Diana hit the mat in first place, securing their seventh leg win and apparently beating Joey and Kelsey by mere minutes. Joey and Kelsey, whose entire storyline now revolves around the fact that they can't stop coming in second place, are predictably disappointed to find out that they are once again the bridesmaids and not the brides at this wedding.

Generating Ill Will

Teams who are Bringing The Fun must entice eight of the children to take a spin on their carnival ride once they've brought it, and Logan and Chris rightly observe that after reaching maximum screaming volume at each other while parking the thing, they're going to have a rough time making this experience look like a fun time. Indeed, Chris winds up pushing the swing so hard he terrifies a couple of the kids. But there's no time to permanently traumatize them -- not with another Detour yet to finish.

Tiffany and Krista, who've chosen to Bring The Groom, quickly discover that hauling a gigantic generator and heavy light fixture is no easy proposition, and the fact that they're being endlessly harassed by passersby is not making it any easier. While we don't see any of the teams in the same frame ever, we're meant to feel like the paparazzi, the cheerleaders, and James Earl and Denise are all neck and neck here.

The Paparazzi Take A (U-)Turn For The Better

After what seems like miles, the cheerleaders roll up to the wedding. Logan and Chris are not far behind, it seems, though they can't seem to agree on anything, from where the entrance to the wedding is to where they're supposed to leave the candelabra. But they're close enough to Tiffany and Krista that the cheerleaders are even still on the mat when they get there (in part because Phil stalled the girls by having the greeter teach them some Bollywood dance moves). They're pretty proud of themselves for hanging in there despite a U-Turn, a debilitating illness, and each other.

Everyone's still at the mat when Denise and James Earl check in a few minutes later. "We're done," Denise observes on the approach; indeed, there's no suspense there. Nor is it particularly earth-shattering to learn that they've both learned to love and appreciate each other on a deeper level and they've done things they never thought possible.

Verdict

Though the leg finishes up at a pretty fun-looking party, there are a lot of cringeworthy moments this week, between lecherous locals, uncomfortable bickering, a course that doesn't allow for much switching-up of order, and a predictable exit from a likable team that nearly left the game last week. Here's hoping the racers keep their eyes on the prize -- and off each other's shortcomings -- as the final four heads into the home stretch.

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