Photo: Dave Kotinsky / USA

Your Oscars 2015 Counterprogramming Guide

What to watch if you don't want to watch the Academy Awards.

Awards-season fatigue: it is a thing, and it is real, and yes, the 8,525th Academy Awards is the end of it at last, but...some years you just can't give a shit. This is, for me, one of those years. Don't care, won't care, watchin' somethin' else.

Luckily for me -- and possibly you! -- there's plenty of "else" on on Sunday night, so if you were groping around for an excuse not to put on real pants and go to your cousin's overly intense Oscars party? You are welcome.

Poppy-Fields Movies

  • A Mighty Wind, POP
  • Point Break, Starz
  • Million Dollar Baby, OWN

ClintFest

  • Million Dollar Baby, OWN
  • Pale Rider and Any Which Way You Can, Reelz

Denzellapalooza

  • American Gangster and Crimson Tide, TNT

Marathons

  • Parks & Rec, Esquire
  • Chappellathon, Comedy Central
  • Family Feud, GSN
  • Full House, Nickelodeon
  • Airline, LRW
  • NCIS, USA

"Real" Shows Masochistically Airing New Episodes

  • The Great British Baking Show and Downton, PBS
  • Walking Dead, AMC
  • HBO's Sunday-night lineup, The Jinx/Girls/Togetherness

Rando Calrissian

  • Westminster Dog Show, CNBC
  • Cereal: History In A Bowl, BIO
  • National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, in February? On...IFC? Okay then