The Duck Dynasty Carnival Cruise Is NOT The Worst TV-Vacation Idea Ever

Even if recent poop-adjacent headlines hadn't dampened your enthusiasm for the idea of cruise vacations, the Duck Dynasty Carnival Cruise -- scheduled to set sail next summer -- doesn't sound all that appealing. What does it mean to "be an honorary Robertson" by the end of the trip? You grow a long beard -- is that it? And what would the "interactive events" entail? Do they refer to the staterooms as duck blinds? This isn't the first TV-based cruise to head for open water, but the Top Chef theme boat had at least a tenuous relationship to one of the selling points of cruise vacations, the unlimited and increasingly delicious cuisine available as part of the package. Does this one plan to serve duck at every meal or something?

But as baffling as we found the idea of spending five nights and $749 on the Duck Dynasty ship, it didn't take us long to think of TV cruises we'd rather go on even less.

Boss 6 Days And 7 Nights Of Kelsey Grammer Telling You Why America Was Wrong To Ignore It
Cop Rock Cruisin', Cuffs, And Chorales
The Big C One Stage Of Grief For Each Night Under The Caribbean Stars
John From Cincinnati Cruise Into Disappointment
Game Of Thrones Red Karaoke Nightly On The Faerie Deck -- It's Killer!
Teen Moms At Sea Screeching Ahoy
The West Wing Ladies, Take A Brisk Stroll To The Bartlet Ballroom While Our Male Staffers Explain Basic Civics To You As Though You're Developmentally Delayed
Supernanny Take That Timeout In Davy Jones's Locker
Hoarders Fill Your Days With Fun (And Your Staterooms With Random Trash And Diapers)
Community A Meta-Adventure That Doesn't Involve You Actually Leaving Home
The Brady Bunch 3 To A Room, No Toilet, And Man Perms For Everyone
Gigolos You'll Catch Something (And It Won't Be Scurvy)
Ancient Aliens (lecture tour) It's Out Of This World
Extreme Cheapskates If You're Going, You're Rowing
Hannibal We're Here To Serve You (In A Light Alfredo Sauce)
Girls Leave Your Pants, Self-Awareness On Shore (And Send Your Parents The Bill)