Maci Is Finally Ready to Talk About Ryan's Drug Problem on Teen Mom
Not so ready that she's going to get off the couch, though.
After at least four seasons of the entire internet wondering what was up with Ryan Edwards, the last few episodes of Teen Mom have inched toward almost giving us an answer. Although Maci has finally come right out with saying on TV that Rahhn is an addict and she's concerned about him, she still won't name what he's addicted to or how long this has been going on. Because we know in real time that a) Rahhn's in rehab, b) his ex-girlfriend Dalis says he was hooked on Roxycontin, and c) Mackenzie taped a solo segment for the reunion, it makes sense that the family knew the timing of these episodes and worked around it. I'm glad we're finally starting to get answers about Rahhn, but knowing more information only makes MTV look worse for spending all those years editing him as "wacky" and "goofy." What else are we not seeing?
|Teen Mom OG-y Element||Present?|
|Crying||Gary, at the house he bought to spite Amber, is currently riding around on a tractor that he probably also bought to spite Amber. But he and Kristina decide to invite Matt and Amber to join their family's Easter celebration, which they do, but on the way out Matt goes and sits in the car without saying goodbye to anyone and Amber manages to squeeze out a few tears about how much she loves Booboo.||Fighting with ex- or current boyfriend/husband
||For some reason, Farrah agrees to go on a vacation with Debra, her fiancé Doctor Dave, and Sofeeyah in Key West. Dave spends the whole time being creepy and ignoring everyone to watch golf on TV, and Farrah keeps trying to engage him in an argument about how he's rude, doesn't say hi, didn't help her unpack the groceries, etc. Deb isn't actually going to fight with him, though, so we're left to wonder if their dumb Bora Bora wedding will ever happen.||Obligatory cute kid||All the kids are adorable at Gary and Kristina's Easter egg hunt, especially little Emilee. Jayde can sort of count to five, but she hasn't mastered fist bumps yet. Sofeeyah goes swimming in Key West.|
|Crimes against the English language||Gary wants Amber to "take it serious" with Leah. Tyler briefly considers moving to California so he can work "in the creative industry." Farrah refers to Dave as her mom's "person."||Style disasters||
Do we think Gary's "bad decisions make good stories" T-shirt is a meta-commentary on the show?
What's creepier: Dr. Dave's red chef's outfit or Debra's house décor in Iowa?
As we meet Mackenzie's mom Terran…it's easy to see where Mack's love of clashing patterns and bleached-blonde hair come from.
|"Shocking reveal" we already knew about from Us Weekly/the internet||Tyler tells Cate about his latest dream (he seems to have a new lifelong dream every other week) to move to California and have a farm. Is that clothing line already over? Tyler checked out places online, though, and it turns out L.A. is expensive. Who knew? Maybe Farrah has a townhouse they can rent out. After looking at one extremely expensive loft in L.A., Cate and Tyler flop on a couch and decide that, actually, they'd rather look online at real estate in Michigan even though they literally just moved three episodes ago. There are a lot of plot contrivances on this show, but flying all the way to California to look at a house you can't afford and that doesn't fit any of the criteria you're looking at is one of the contrivance-est. Tyler also starts mentioning how they need The Land, because it's not enough to crib Farrah's storyline when you can also borrow Jenelle's.|
|Tertiary character as voice of reason||Simon, who is still "just friends" with Farrah, joins the family in Key West after going to a bachelor party in Miami. After being in the house for about six seconds and listening to Farrah rant about Dave, he sums it up in one quick, perfect sentence: "He just doesn't like you." I go back and forth on whether Simon is annoying or funny, but he does have a point.|
|Shit-talking||Maci is planning a mini-intervention for Rahhn but is worried about what Mackenzie (a.k.a. Jen Junior) is going to think. Maci talks on the phone to a substance-abuse counselor to get an idea about how to approach Rahhn. The counselor is legitimately quite helpful and gives her advice about how she's going to need to threaten him with something serious (in this case, time with Bintlee) in order to show him how important it is to get help. Can this phone counselor host the reunions?|
|Mom whose segments are totally worth skipping||Cate and Tyler's obsession with HGTV is boring, which would be the word they keep using for houses that aren't shaped like octagons. Enjoy buying an old house sight unseen and paying your addict dad to fix it up!|
|Meta moment||Mackenzie goes to try on dresses but asks the camera crew not to film the one she picked out so it'll be a surprise (they seem to compromise by showing a few parts of it but not the whole thing). She adds that Rahhn can't know what it looks like until November 18, which I am guessing was their original wedding date before they decided to do a quickie pre-rehab marriage.|
Being excited about your wedding dress
Being in denial about who you're marrying