Cate And Ty Play Chicken With Butch's Addiction (And With Some Actual Chickens) On Teen Mom OG
Meanwhile, Amber's getting sick of being in a relationship with a dirty dog.
This week's episode is called "The Forever Knot," which means it's time to talk about weddings. Mackenzie and Rahhn are starting to plan theirs, while Mackenzie's changing fashion choices are helping her morph into Jen 2.0. (Another thing that is endearing her to the Edwards family? Narcing on Maci, but we'll get to that later.) Debra is planning her Bora Bora wedding to David, the creepy Santa-resembling, bowtie-sporting doctor she introduced in dramatic fashion last season. Dave is moving to Omaha to be with her, despite "needing to be fingerprinted" first, which doesn't sound shady at all.
Less excited about her upcoming nuptials is Amber, who reminds us she has been proposed to (two Gary, one Matt, what about the other one?) four times and never actually gone through with walking down the aisle. Despite trying on a gorgeous lacy gown, she fails to have a Say Yes To The Dress breakthrough and instead bursts into tears that no amount of mascara and fake eyelashes could cover up.
|Teen Mom OG-y Element||Present?|
|Crying||Amber takes her "friend" Annette to pick out a wedding dress because after 32 years together Annette and Wayne are finally tying the knot. Instead of being excited for her, Amber uses this as yet another reason to talk about how she's getting cold feet about marrying Matt. Annette, on the other hand, is just taking advantage of the chance to get a free dress in exchange for being on TV. At the bridal store, Amber confesses to Kerthy that a lot of her depression has been caused by Matt and that she has had to deal with a lot over the last few years. She tries on a dress at Annette's urging, and despite looking lovely in it starts crying and demands they get the dress off of her. Heavy symbolism, anyone? I would be happy to redirect some of my #freestarburst energy into a #freeamber campaign.||Fighting with ex- or current boyfriend/husband
||Matt complains to Kerthy that Amber is soooo busy with Before Verhaute that she's sometimes "on the phone until 4 AM" but I hope that means she's on with a crisis counselor and is pretending to Matt that it's about work. Matt is making a huge show of cooking because "they" have both been too busy for anything other than takeout. Sure, Jan. Last week, Amber chose models for a fashion show and shoot that never happened; this week she scrolls up and down on a website and says "no." Matt gets annoyed when another one of Amber's previously-unknown business partners, Jose, calls "again," and she tells Matt to get bent because she's a fancy working lady who has to take fancy work calls in order to keep paying for his cars and back child support. (Okay, not the last part. But she's closer to cracking.)||Obligatory cute kid||Sofeeyah doesn't like the way her mom is combing her hair to remove the part: "Why are you making me look like a freaking lion?!" Gary tries to get Leah to talk about sex ed class on camera, and Kristina mercifully explains that maybe she doesn't want to talk about something so personal and embarrassing on national freaking television. Leah points her finger at the camera for added emphasis.|
|Crimes against the English language||Amber goes to get a massage and the therapist asks if she has any "areas of interest" on her body. (Too easy.) Kristy the producer asks if Debra and her creepy fiancé are waiting on "Farrah to be acceptive" before they set a wedding date. Debra says yes and agrees that everybody needs to be "in the same page."||Style disasters||
Amber's pink hair is still around.
She needs to cool it with the all-pink clothing and makeup before she looks like the long lost half-sister of Princess Bubblegum.
|"Shocking reveal" we already knew about from Us Weekly/the internet||Farrah announced last week that she is not attending her mother's destination wedding in Bora Bora. She also sounds downright articulate -- at least by Farrah standards -- when she tries to have Real Talk with Debra about their communication issues and why she doesn't think Creepy Fiancé is a good addition to the family. Farrah doesn't even like to say David's name, which is fair since he was hella gross and yelled at her and referenced her porno when they met last season. "Does this person really seem like the person you would like to have in your life before you die?" Farrah asks. "I don't give a fuck what La La Land world you want to choose or live in, but if someone cannot be decent, and if that person can't act like a man and wants to have a fucking problem with me -- I'm going to straight up be 100 -- if that's how it's going to be, then I will not be around. Don't waste our family's house on someone who doesn't fucking deserve to be there."|
|Tertiary character as voice of reason||Butch calls Tyler to confess that he relapsed again and, possibly more concerning, he is going to call Dr. Drew for professional advice. Dr. Ew agrees to FaceTime because he doesn't want to miss a chance to appear on TV, but he basically just tells Butch to keep on the straight and narrow because he could be somebody's mentor someday. Kim doesn't remember who Dr. Drew is, and I really almost loved her for half a second there.|
|Shit-talking||Maci thinks that she and Mackenzie got along great last week as she shit-talked Jen and Larry, but Mackenzie ratted her out almost immediately and now things are awkward. Maci thinks she and Taylor should go to one of those escape room things with Rahhn and Mackenzie. Why are those things so popular? They're at wax museum levels of nightmare for me. But on the day of the excursion, R&M bail and instead have a download about Maci's shit-talking from last week with Larry and Jen. Larry says the anger is “crawling up the back of my neck," which is one of those Southern expressions I just don’t hear often enough.|
|Mom whose segments are totally worth skipping||
The only interesting part of Maci's scenes is the sight of her and Taylor in matching orange jumpsuits
from their "escape the prison cell" excursion.
|Meta moment||Well aware of how badly she came off during the $3,000 "mini pig" incident last season, Cate is here to show off the chickens she and Tyler are raising on their new property. She even went to the trouble of giving them names (that rooster's name is Bruce), but how many of the chickens are named Carly Junior?|
Escaping from prison together
Standing up to your mom alone