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Teen Mom 2's Chelsea Has A Cow About Having Another Kid

And the show celebrates its 100th episode with a lot of FaceTime conversations.

It is the 100th episode of Teen Mom 2. That's right: it's been seven (well, seven and a half) seasons of cryin', hollerin', fightin', and birthin' babies. Besides the big reveal that Chelsea and Cole are having a kid, there's nothing else ceremonial going on in the episode. It's a lot of the same old same old, from Leah moving again to Chelsea's baby voice to Kail and Javi breaking up. If it feels like Jenelle has been saying she is about to get custody of Jace back for about a hundred episodes, that's because she has.

Teen Mom 2-y Element Present?
Crying Chelsea tells Mandi the producer that she has important news, so the crew suits up and heads over to her house. Chelsea and Cole, who is looking more rectangular than usual, announce the worst-kept secret ever, which is that Chelsea is knocked up. Why do people insist on showing other people their pee sticks? Is it too hard to get the words out? Chelsea says that they weren't trying, except that she was off birth control and also using an ovulation kit and taking tests all the time, which is pretty try-y? Mandi is crying even more than Chelsea is, maybe about the sight of a thing that's been peed on, or maybe because this pregnancy gives her another season's worth of storylines.
Fighting with ex or current boyfriend/husband Jo and Vee exposition about how well they've been getting along and co-parenting with Kail, but they worry that it's all going to change when Javi comes back. Since Kail and Javi won't actually speak to each other, it's up to the proxies to foreshadow what's coming when that deployment finally ends.

Meanwhile, despite literally having signed a custody agreement a week ago, Jenelle already wants to renege on the deal and take Nathan back to court because he (a) didn't buy an entire Babies R Us and (b) she watched a one-minute video of Nathan's mom playing with Kaiser, which must mean that Nathan is doing zero parenting.

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MTV

Kaiser's reaction face is all of us.

Obligatory cute kid Addie and Jeremy talk on FaceTime. Here are the best bits:

Jeremy: Have you been staying out of trouble?

Addie: No.

...

Addie: Are you my Dad?


Jeremy: I better be. [glares in Leah's direction]

Also: adorable Vivi would like some agua, Isaac thinks Lincoln is a brat, and Aubree is excited about being a big sister again.

Crimes against the English language Jenelle, Creepy Dave, Jace, and Maryssa go to Disney World, and Jenelle says she's happy not to have Barb there "hovering over my every move." That sounds like it involves calisthenics. Adam tries to tell Aubree how proud he is of her performance at the spring concert, except he can't remember the words "spring" or "concert." Looks like you still haven’t earned that World's Best Dad mug just yet.
Style disasters In addition to pairing a pastel floral tank top with some hot pink lace in one scene, Leah spends most of the episode looking like a crazy eyed Loni Anderson wannabe.

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MTV

Kail's "Love & Lowry" T-shirt is probably supposed to be some kind of new brand or business venture, but it just makes me think about seasoning jars.

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MTV

That's fitting, since Kail is majorly salty in this scene.

"Shocking Reveal" we already knew about from Us Weekly/the internet Chelsea's new desire to keep things off camera doesn't extend to her pregnancy reveal, even though her bun in the oven is the worst kept secret on Instagram. Not only does she have a scene where she tells the crew, she has a scene where she tells Aubree (which is, admittedly, very sweet) and a scene where she and Cole talk about what it was like telling Aubree. I almost wish she'd go back to being afraid of wasps.
Tertiary character as voice of reason Leah tells Corey that Ali doesn't want to wear her helmet, but he's still "holding onto faith" that Ali will "prove 'em all wrong," even though a doctor who is one of the world specialists in his field has repeatedly said otherwise, and Ali falls constantly and hurts herself. This whole scene is making me shake my head so hard I got a migraine. Points to Leah for moving into a new single-level house that's more accessible for Ali's wheelchair, but no points for the random vanity photoshoot she does with the kids "so she'll have pictures to decorate the house with" or for the fact that she lets Ali slip-and-slide without any protection beyond a pair of kneepads.
Meta Moment When Javi calls Kail, she lets it go to voicemail, and a producer named J.C. asks why she's not answering it. "I don't want to film anymore," she says, which I think means she doesn’t want to film her marriage drama anymore. They keep pressing, and she gets mad and starts swearing, which I'm sure is the reaction were hoping for. Since Kail wouldn't provide footage, we have to fill that space with Javi talking to his friend about their breakup and the news that he has somehow found a house in Delaware to rent even though he's Overseas.
Mom whose segments are totally worth skipping Jenelle and Leah are both doing their "I'm the best mom ever" song-and-dance for the cameras, and it's intolerable. The lack of producers in their segments so far makes me think they're setting both girls up for a midseason fall from grace, which would at least be interesting.
Misogyny The best thing I can say about this show is that so far Adam and Creepy Dave have never had the opportunity to hang out with each other.
7 / 10
Final Score
70%
FaceTiming from a trampoline
30%
Falling on the slip-and-slide
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