Screen: MTV

License Count: Chelsea 2; Nathan 0

Ali gets a wheelchair, Chelsea gets her license, and Nathan gets out of jail early.

Everybody is getting things on Teen Mom 2 this week, and mostly it's for good. Chelsea, at long last, gets her esthetician's license, which means this yawnworthy storyline is over and she can go back to 24/7 talking about Ad-ummm-uhhh. Nathan gets out of jail early and gets the gift of a clean house and a somehow-still-alive dog from Jenelle. Kail gets a month without Javi, who is away at his Air Force training, and a visit from her girlfriends to cheer her up. And Leah's daughter Ali finally gets a loaner wheelchair, which she motors around in expertly.

Everybody also has a bunch of driving to do. Chelsea has to drive four hours each way (I'm guessing she has to be in the state capital, Pierre) to attend her license hearing; Kail has to do the drive to Jo's place in south Jersey with both kids because Javi is away doing Air Force stuff; Leah and Jeremy have to drive to Ohio to take Ali to see her specialist; and Jenelle has to drive to jail to pick Nathan up and to keep up the ruse that he is not driving while he's unlicensed. Sure, Jenelle. I also believe that you don't smoke weed anymore.

Teen Mom 2-y Element Present?
Crying Kail sorta cries a few frustration-tears as Isaac acts out and bangs on the table while she's trying to hang out with her friends. Nathan tries to make it look like he's crying in the car because he's so happy to see Jenelle again, but he blows his cover by being way more psyched to see his dog Moogan.
Fighting with ex or current boyfriend/husband Nathan and Jenelle are too busy comparing their relationship to The Notebook to fight, but give it another eight minutes and they'll be back to arguing about how once the baby comes they'll never argue, or something.
Obligatory cute kid Ali goes to her doctor's appointment in polka dot overalls and a flower in her hair and is basically the cutest thing ever. She specifically mentions wanting to see Dr. Tsao, the sweet specialist we've seen in other episodes, and is already better at grammar than her mother is. Lincoln sleeps with his mouth open while wearing a koala hat.
Crimes against the English language Leah says that Ali "done" an amazing job with her wheelchair. Corey tells Miranda it's a challenge to have two "kidses." Chelsea calls Papa Randalicious "Vanilla Face," which is South Dakotan for "person who doesn't fake-tan to the point of orangeness."
Barb's accent Barb "bets her bottom dollah" that Nathan will be driving again as soon as he gets out, while Jace hilariously refuses to share his popsicle with her. Barb also calls Jenelle out on the fact that she can't be alone and refuses to stand up to Nathan, which Jenelle then proves when she says that Nathan will only drink "once in a while" and she thinks the best solution is not to talk about it or confront him in any way.
Financial problems Corey's insurance company says that Ali is too young to know how to operate a motorized wheelchair, so Dr. Tsao and the gang make a video of her using one, because unlike me the insurance company does not realize that Ali is the most intelligent person on this entire show. Ali zooms around like a pro, and the hospital gives her the wheelchair she's been using as a loaner until the insurance company comes through.
Style disasters Chelsea has an over-the-top cat eye and a huuuge topknot that looks lavender on my screen. She looks like a hungover Adventure Time character. Leah is wearing a long-sleeve Southwestern-printed top and a Southwestern-printed headband that do not actually match each other despite both using a heavy amount of orange. Jenelle's picking-her-man-up-from-jail finery features a peach mesh top with sleeve cutouts and grommets around the neckline.
"Shocking Reveal" we already knew about from Us Weekly/the internet Not this time. But on the plus side, Adam usually goes in this space and he's absent this week.
Jenelle's terrible life choices Jenelle didn't have time to take care of her dogs or her child, but she did have time to make a craft wall of pictures of her and Nathan together.
Tertiary character as voice of reason Miranda has a little monologue about how she and Corey are enjoying being married and aren't rushing to have a kid of their own yet, which is like the one responsible decision anyone on this show has made today. Intercut with scenes of a stressed-out Leah dealing with a screaming (and now walking) Adalynn, Miranda looks even wiser.
Obviously staged scene Jenelle is doing a bad job acting as she reads the script MTV wrote for her about how she shouldn't have mistreated the dogs last week. (Something tells me there were a lot of viewer complaint calls.) And Nathan and Jenelle have zero affect and say a lot of therapy-speak in his call from jail where he says he's getting out early.
Mom whose segments are totally worth skipping Kail has really matured as both a person and a parent, which means that her scenes are way too boring to watch. She has a cute new black scarf, though!
9 / 12
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