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Jenelle Turns Her Camera Off And Her Attitude Up On Teen Mom 2

As Barb cries, Dave's grip grows tighter, dude.

There's something about Teen Mom's casts of four that make it easy to split the moms into pairs. This season, the teams are pretty easily broken down: Chelsea and Leah (stable-ish parents, minimal drama) versus Kail and Jenelle (additional pregnancies, messy family drama), with the latter two doing the heavy lifting this season. This week, they're both working on those Bad Girls Club audition reels, with Kail throwing down the gauntlet in her acrimonious divorce from Javi, and Jenelle once again screaming at Barb and treating her like dirt. This year, though? They have both added the "I don't want to film" threat to their list of bratty behaviors, and the crew are probably wishing they'd gotten assigned to the Duggars instead.

Teen Mom 2-y Element Present?
Crying Chelsea orders one of those fake babies from health class for Cole and Aubree so that they can get the hang of caring for a newborn. Aubree pulls the baby out of its box by the head, which seems like a solid idea. The baby screams, cries, needs its diaper changed, and eventually goes to sleep.
Fighting with ex or current boyfriend/husband I feel like all of Kail's scenes now are her giving the producer a very scandalous story about something dramastical (™ Nathan Griffith) that happened recently but somehow wasn't caught on camera, evading followup questions, and then saying she doesn't want to film anymore, followed by a scene where Javi tells the same story from his side. This week is no exception: Kail tells JC that Javi broke into the house through the basement and rifled through her things, ostensibly to see if someone else was living there. Kail called the police, who told her they couldn’t do anything -- in other words, the guy's name is still on the house, despite Kailyn's use of "my." She adds that Isaac was there and got really upset by the scene, which now means she can try to use Jo as a weapon against Javi the same way she used Javi against Jo.

Soeaking of Javi, he now has a very ill-advised mustache.

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Javi also has a version of events to share with us: Kail said she had a school thing and needed to switch days with Lincoln. Javi agreed. They planned to meet up at a Chipotle for the dropoff, but then Javi got stuck in traffic and Kail refused to wait and went home, so he also went to the house and jumped the fence to get in. Javi says that the house "used to be a dope-ass crib, and now it's garbage." This divorce is making Javi mean and unintentionally hilarious.

Obligatory cute kid Addie makes a Play-Doh pancake and gives it to one of the camera guys, who makes "nom nom nom" noises while pretending to eat it. Later, Leah tries to bribe Addie with a doughnut, but Addie just yells, "I want pizza!" She is also wearing giant slippers that look like Yeti feet. I think Addie might be my favorite kid on the show now, although these two wonderful conversations also happened, which reminds me why it's fun now that the kids are older and have personalities:

Leah: Gracie, do you want me to go back to school?"

Gracie: I don't really care.

Cole: Aubree, do you like taking care of the baby?

Aubree: Nope.

Crimes against the English language Jenelle is mad at Barb post-deposition and isn't speaking to her, so Dave handles the respective Kaiser and Jace dropoffs. When Barb asks where Jenelle is, Dave says she's "doing her emails" and busy "typing." Considering that this is a woman who needed a recipe for ice water, that's almost believable.
Style disasters Nathan was on camera for about 1.7 seconds...

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...but his shirt/back tattoo combo is more than I needed to see.

"Shocking Reveal" we already knew about from Us Weekly/the internet Leah's dithering about beauty school (see below) hardly counts. Kail has Sterling saved in her phone as "baby momma," which could take a very interesting turn if next season's pregnancy storyline was about Kail and Sterling becoming lesbian parents.
Tertiary character as voice of reason Jo, who had to go pick up a freaked-out Isaac in the middle of the latest Kail/Javi confrontation, is not pleased with the way this whole divorce is affecting his kid. Vee, though, is less quick to judge: she says that Javi is taking the divorce really hard. There's some subtle shade at Kail, too: "You're fine. Some people take longer to heal." Especially when they've already moved on, right, Kail? After Kail leaves, Vee announces that this drama is Kail and Javi's karma for being such shits to Jo and Vee when they first got together. I really want to take her out for drinks. And see if she'll give me tips on how to get that freaking Pantene commercial hair. Vee for president!
Meta Moment Chelsea, Cole, and Aubree do a gender reveal photo shoot, which is an extremely annoying sentence. It's windy out, and that's messing with their "boy stuff on a clothesline" theme, which Chelsea is complaining about. I have an idea: maybe cut it with the unnecessary photo shoots in the first place? Later, Chelsea and Cole can't decide which of their two favorites to post, so Mandi suggests that they use one on each of their Instagram accounts, at which point Chelsea calls her smart.
Mom whose segments are totally worth skipping Leah spends the whole episode debating whether she should go back to beauty school, which is run by this West Virginia lady who looks like a real-life Betty Rubble...

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MTV

...but we already know that Leah didn't go back, so where's the tension? If Gracie doesn't care, no one else should.

Misogyny Jenelle gets mad at Dave for talking to Barb during the drop-off, telling him, "I specifically did not want to give my mom any camera time." She yells at the camera crew to stop filming, which they obviously don't, and copies Kail from last week by ripping off her dashboard camera and then yanking off her and Dave's mics. "No one should be nice to my mom because she's a fucking bitch," she snaps. Wow, I do see a bitch on screen right now but it's not Barb.

9 / 10
Final Score
90%
Being offered a doughnut...
10%
...but wanting pizza instead
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