*P: WAR*

We've Finally Escaped Paradise!

The interminable fourth season of Paradise winds its way to a confusing and anticlimactic close. 2017.09.12S04.E09

Getting Very Tired Of Twinning

The twins return, so does bisexual Jaimi, and still...nothing happens. 2017.09.06S04.E08

Blake Me Up Before You Go Go (...Or Actually, Don't)!

Blake is back and he still doesn't eat carbs, Ben Z goes home to his dog, and Scallop Fingers is courted. 2017.09.05S04.E07

Sometimes In Paradise You've Gotta Corinne And Bear It

Corinne doesn't remember anything, but still 'tells all.' Also: Mexican wrestlers and boners! 2017.08.30S04.E06

Matt(en) Down The Hatches, Scallop Fingers Is On The Scene!

Jasmine and Christen fight over... Matt? And more! 2017.08.29S04.E05

It's Another Very Special (And Very Boring) Episode Of Bachelor In Paradise!

ABC tortures us with yet another after-school special on The Scandal That Won't Die, while going light on the Paradise drama. 2017.08.23S04.E04

Rejoice: The Long-Awaited Culling Of The Horribles Has Arrived At Last!

We finally thin the Paradise herd with a long-awaited rose ceremony. 2017.08.22S04.E03

It's A Very Special Episode Of Paradise, And We've All Learned So Much!

A wedding, a lecture, and some failed attempts at romance: Paradise has it all! 2017.08.16S04.E02

Bachelor In Paradise Lost...And Found!

Paradise is back, now with more stoopid! 2017.08.15S04.E01

Rachel's Getting Married (Except Not Really Because Come On, That's Never Going To Happen)!

Rachel picks Bryan, as we always knew she would, and is blissfully "happy" about it. 2017.08.08S13.E11

Rachel's Men Tell Most!

The men discuss their time on the season and finally solve racism. 2017.08.01S13.E10

Whine It's No Spain, No Gain For The Bachelorette!

Rachel makes her family meet the men and then jets off to Rioja to cavort with her final three. 2017.07.25S13.E09

The Bachelorette Meets The (Weird, Hostile) Parents On Hometown Week!

Rachel heads home(town) with her remaining four men, with mixed results. Who will she eliminate based on their terrible family? 2017.07.18S13.E08

Will The Bachelorette Remain Neutral In Switzerland?

Rachel and the dudes check out Geneva, where they try on watches and attend Mass. EXCITING! 2017.07.11S13.E07

The Bachelorette Is Liking Her Vikings!

Rachel and her suitors continue their Scandy adventure with Viking games, boat tours, and elderly Swedes! 2017.06.28S13.E06

The Bachelorette Doesn't Want To Take Things (O)slo(w)!

Rachel and the men jet off to Norway for rappelling, hand-ball, and hot-tubbing! Also: drama brews between Kenny and Lee, culminating in a dreaded two-on-one date. 2017.06.27S13.E05

The Bachelorette Doesn’t Want A 'Disingenuine' Man!

Rachel puts the men through their underwhelming paces, and many bad attempts spelling and freestyle rapping ensue! 2017.06.20S13.E04

The Bachelorette Strips The Men Of Their Non-Existent Dignity!

Rachel continues her arduous journey to find love with stripping, mud wrestling, and, mercifully, no whaboom-ing! 2017.06.06S13.E03

The Bachelorette Must Choose Between Love & Basketball

Rachel Lindsay literally gets dunked on…but returns the favor with authority. 2017.05.30S13.E02

Whaboom Goes The Dynamite on The Bachelorette!

Rachel Lindsay submits herself to Bachelorettehood, with mixed (but mostly absurdly bad) results! 2017.05.23S13.E01

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