Watch The Highlights From Scarlett Johansson's Fifth Appearance On Saturday Night Live
She's a surprisingly talented interpreter of deep club tracks.
On the night we lose an hour to (goddamn) Daylight Savings Time, I can't believe we lost another one…to this.
Biggest Waste Of Makeup's Time
I do not agree with my friend and colleague, Omar G., that they're beating the political impressions into the ground. I will never get jaded about it, especially Alec Baldwin's Trump, because, well, generally I am an easy laugh and he's a legend. But this seemed like some cutting-room stuff they had in the can just in case they needed to fill time, and I feel sorry for the makeup artist who had to put that alien look together because, despite this cold open going on forever, Bobby Moynihan was only onscreen for eight seconds.
Most Innocent Laughs On A Gross Subject
In an ep that seemed disjointed and, at times, desperate, it was easy to appreciate this downright homey take on…animal pornography. What could have easily turned into a pregnant giraffe joke was instead a light-hearted ribbing of local morning-news programming, and Cecily Strong and Mikey Day managed to make it, if not hilarious, at least cute.
Most Adorable Guest Appearance
If anyone from PETA is reading, I "hearby" file an official complaint. Making this cute dog, Max, a Trump voter amounts to egregious animal abuse. Then again, Max steals the show, and it makes some kind of sense that an animal that licks its own butt would believe that our president is doing a good job. Of course the dog actor, though clearly the ultimate professional, reaches his limit and, likely out of deep personal disgust, tries to break character and leave the scene. ScarJo, a pro if there ever was one, handles it gracefully, no doubt reminding him of the many union violations he would incur if he walks out.
Best Dialogue Of The Night (And Best Use Of Mikey Day's Face)
In any week of the early part of the season when the show was firing on all cylinders, this little bit would probably have never made it to air, but in this mediocre sketch lineup, it was at least as funny as anything else, and all involved gave it their best (I love Mikey Day, seriously). Having just eaten at an Olive Garden a week ago (and in Florida, no less), this caused me to emit a hollow, mirthless guffaw:
Featured background player to commercial director: "Oh, I wouldn't laugh at a little person."
Director: "But Olive Garden customers would."
Most Expected Use Of Kate McKinnon
I guess if anything from this episode makes it to the viral level, it will be this Ugly Mermaid sketch, and I know it was funny, and I fully agree that Kate McKinnon is a stone genius, but…isn't this just slapping a fishtail on the same old thing? In this case, should I find myself gagging between laugh-cringes? That thing with the sea bass was hard on me, as was the "yeah…I got it" The Simpsons joke.
Most Fragrant Takedown Of A Trump This Week
I've already seen this mentioned on various sites as a "savaging" of Ivanka Trump; it is far from that. If they wanted an actually savage takedown, they could have called esteemed Previously.TV West Coast Editor Tara Ariano, because she took care of that business months ago:
Ivanka Trump is an Uncle Tom to women and Jews and a collaborator to a corrupt dictator. Also, she has very boring hair. pic.twitter.com/Gn1n9KOdPn
— Tara Ariano (@TaraAriano) November 28, 2016
Lorde Has One Song
And wrapping herself in a set of sheers didn't help this version of it.
Most Depressingly Accurate
Here, in observance of Day Without a Woman, SNL manages to mansplain mansplaining to women everywhere.
Funniest Sketch Of The Night And The Blessed Ending
Mostly because Vanessa Bayer's and Aidy Bryant's faces speak for us all regarding the episode as a whole, and because we got to see Scarlett Johansson at her most winning -- her accent was killing me -- I honestly wish the whole episode was just sketch after sketch like this. I know it was ridiculous, and even problematic in parts (can Leslie Jones ever get a laugh for anything other than being the Improbable Black Woman?), but I admit to loudly laughing at that instant classic track "Here Is My Butt (As I Lean Against The Wall)."