Patrick Wymore / Showtime

The Crew On Roadies Runs Into Health Problems (Among Other Kinds Of Problems)

But are any of these 'dramatic conflicts' even worth caring about?

Roadies wants us to get on board with the trials and tribulations of a the backstage crew supporting the tour of a fictional major band. That's a terrific idea! I'm sure that life is difficult and filled with actual human drama. So, great, let's see how much we actually care about the problems that these particular roadies worry about. Below is this week's list of GAFs actually elicited from us, from most GAFs to least.

  1. Bill's High Blood Pressure
    High blood pressure is a serious thing that Bill should take seriously. The fact that the medical person on staff was startled by Bill's actual blood pressure should be more than a funny moment -- it should be cause for actual concern. Like, maybe Bill should see a real doctor? Change his daily regimen? Maybe go on some medication? Bill is risking a stroke or a heart attack, even congestive heart failure. And if Bill happens to be pregnant (still unknown), there is a chance of preeclampsia, which the internet tells me is very serious. This is not a laughing matter, guys. I'm worried about Bill.
  2. The Band Needs A New Opening Act For Tonight's Gig
    This is an actual, identifiable, recognizable problem a crew might face. Yet, it's the one in the show treats most like a joke. That the opening act has dropped out on the day of a show should be a high-level concern. Why is no one, like, furious about this? At the very least, it's incredibly unprofessional. And wouldn't it represent breach of contract or something like that? Would a band really just capriciously quit an opening gig with a huge band because they preferred Phil to Bill? And how, exactly, someone in Bill's position might solve this problem is actually pretty interesting to me. Sadly, the show covers the process mostly offscreen or under a music montage.
  3. Someone Is Hiding The Crew's Road Cases
    Sadly, the mystery of who might be doing this doesn't compel me very much. Is it the opening act, The Head & The Heart? Is it someone in The Staton House Band trying to send a message to Bill, because they preferred how Phil, fired in Episode 1, walked them to the stage (of which more below)? Could it be someone else who was fired by the British finance guy? We really don't know. What I'm pretty certain we won't find out, maybe ever, is what exactly "hiding our road cases" even means. I mean, I know what road cases are. I know what hiding is. But I don't have any idea why that would be a bummer or perceived as a threat or qualify as "sabotage" to this crew. They may as well have said, "They're benzolating our fleurvons!"
  4. The Crew's Weird Reaction To The Lead Singer's Finger-Kissing Concert Farewell Gesture
    Yes, it looks forced and weird and awkward. But would a crew of roadies really care that much about some stage flair? Bill gets a phone call -- from the band's manager, I think -- that this kissing of the fingertips is "disconcerting" and that it's something Phil would have taken care of. Exactly why someone needs to take the time to tell the singer to stop doing that is a real puzzle. Why does it even matter to the crew? Why does it matter to the manager? Why does anyone watching care?
  5. The Band Doesn't Like How Bill Walks Them To The Stage
    I get that this is being played for comedy...or, at least, I hope it is. But if this is what passes for conflict on this show, um, I don't know what to say about it. So far, especially in this episode, it appears Bill isn't very good at any part of his job. And that he's already screwed up something as simple as walking a band to the stage right before their performance doesn't speak to his efficacy at whatever it is he does.
  6. The British Guy Has To Fire One More Crew Member
    Don't care. I don't know any of these people yet, so any of them could be fired with little effect on me. Also, I'm not convinced the person who ends up getting fired will be someone I've grown attached to. If their name is in the opening credits, I'm assuming they're safe from the ax. And hey, wait! Didn't Luis Guzmán get fired? I mean, he's not in this episode, so maybe we just say he's the one who got fired and move on? Seems reasonable to me.
  7. Kelly Ann Is Bummed Out That She Doesn't Have A Nickname
    Still? I guess I'd rather she be worried about that than still watching her skateboarding around the stage. Neither seems that plausible, but I'll swallow the lesser of two evils.
  8. That Kelly Ann Gave Up Going To Film School To Stay On This Tour
    Drop it already. No one cares that you wanted to go to film school. And here's a bit of shocking news for you: after you've gone to film school, even fewer people will care that you actually went there.
  9. That There's A Difference Between Tour Manager And Production Manager
    I still don't know which one of these goes with Bill and which goes with Shelli. Additionally, I don't really know what either one does that's different from what the other does. The show seems very convinced that I'll be interested in the, as far as I can tell, minute differences between the jobs. But I'm not. It's as if I'm watching a show about a newspaper, and people keep talking about how one character is an Assistant Editor and the other is a Managing Editor. What's the difference between the two jobs? I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said because I'm already asleep.
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